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The Rant Bar is an opinion based electronic column distributed via email.  Its purpose is to break the monotony of your day by giving unsolicited, free spirited views on life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.  We hope you are entertained, inspired, share or comment on our articles.

 

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If I Had A Twin....
Ooooh, Jose Canseco and his twin brother Ozzie, were playing naughty!  That's funny!  I think it's cute.  If I had a twin, imagine that, double the Me, I'd definitely use it to my advantage.   My twin and I would take turns doing everything possible that twins could do and get away with it.  I'd be in two places at one time.  I'd play the dirty love games.  I'd rumble with a fumble, I mean, I'd send my twin to fight for me.  Of course, I would.  Cause my twin would know that I'd do it for her.  Everything I'm bad at, I'd let her do, and vice versa. 
  
Would I have remorse?  No.  I said, No.  I really mean no.  I'd be having too much fun.  I'd zip and zap myself here there and every where.  We might take polls on our lovers.   Okay.  Alright.  I know twins aren't supposed to do this.  I just don't know what to say, those two are really cute!  It must be great being them.  What scamming fun I'd have with my twin, I'd keep everyone guessing about everything, all the while knowing the truth.  Hey, has anybody seen my twin?  I could really use some help....
  
That's probalbly why God didn't give me one, cause He knew I wouldn't be able to help myself!  Jose and Ozzie, don't be forgetting the dag nabbit tattoos! 
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