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Have you been asked to "step-up" or take on more responsibility with fewer resources?
Has your work environment changed (new team, new boss, new role, etc.)?
Does your employer have high expectations? What about your customers?
Are you your own worst critic?
Are these things negatively impacting your self-confidence?
If you're like a lot of my clients, the answer is yes, yes and YES! In fact, The 2009 ICF (International Coaching Federation) Global Coaching Client study revealed the top two motivations for seeking coaching services are self-esteem/self confidence and work/life balance.
There are steps you can take to get your self-confidence back on track. The first of which, of course, is to hire a great coach. :) Read on for some others.
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| Reduce negative thoughts of "self-talk" |
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| You know that little voice that keeps saying "you can't do that" or "you're not smart enough for that" or "are you sure about that decision?" Surprise! We all have that voice in our heads. The important thing is what we choose to do with it. We run into trouble when we let that little voice start driving our decision making and choices. So what can you do when negative thoughts emerge?
First, just notice. What is your little voice saying and what's behind the message?
Second, make a choice about the self-talk you will allow to continue; explore your options.
Third, replace the negative thoughts with those more positive. When the negative thoughts come back, notice for a bit, make a choice and then move forward with self-talk that best serves you.
Remember, no situation has meaning until you add your interpretation of the situation with your thoughts. |
| Enhance Self-awareness |
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| Know yourself and what you are capable of accomplishing. An easy and fun tool for discovering strengths is Tom Rath's book Strengthsfinder 2.0. It includes a survey that identifies your top 5 strengths as well as strategies for growing those strengths.
It can also be helpful to take a few minutes and think about what self-confidence means to you. Finish these three sentences:
To me, self-confidence means....
I feel confident when....
Icelebrate my self-confidence by.....
Then, create and write down your intention about confidence. For example, an intention about confidence might be: "I have all the skills and tools I need to thrive in whatever circumstances are thrown at me." Use your intention statement as a filter for making choices about how you respond to stresses, problems, and difficult people in the workplace. Use it also to filter your choices about opportunity, abundance and inspiring colleagues!
Self-confidence puts you in the driver's seat making decisions about how you will respond to situations or circumstances. Remember that everyone's self-confidence is tested and put under pressure at some point. It is possible to feel anxiety, stress, and fear AND make a choice about your thoughts and behavior that supports your intention about confidence. |
| Set realistic goals |
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| Let go of fixing every problem and helping every person. What happens if you view your associates, clients/customers, employees as capable and resourceful people who can fix their own problems? Protect your energy. Direct it toward the areas you will have the greatest impact. Be realistic about what you can and cannot impact. Set measurable goals to monitor your progress. Write them down. Be specific, identify a date for completion and include the benefit to you of completing the goal. |
| Celebrate wins |
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| When you meet your goals (or meet milestones on the way), celebrate! Acknowledging progress and success is a great confidence booster. Keep a journal of your successes and look back at it when your confidence takes a hit. Remind yourself of all of which you are capable. |
| Breathe! |
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| Breathing is a great tool to relax the body and to push the pause button. Often all you need to get out of reaction mode and into choice mode is a pause; time to quickly check in with your intention about confidence and make a choice about your next step. You will find when you behave from a place of choice that your self-confidence is higher. Two experts on breathing techniques are Dr. Herbert Benson, most famous for the Relaxation Response, and Jon Kabat-Zinn, word renowned meditation guru. | |
Webster's dictionary defines confidence as 1) FAITH, TRUST; 2) a feeling or consciousness of one' s power or of reliance on one's circumstances; 3) the quality or state of being certain.
Often the most observable difference between someone with high confidence and someone with low confidence is how they respond to a situation.
How will you choose to respond?
Sincerely,
Linda O'Neill
Transformative Leadership Coach O'Neill Coaching and Consulting |
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