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Because?
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Big Question Of The Week

Because?
Quote Of The Week
 
Believe That Life Is Worth Living And Your Actions Will Confirm It - William James
What Are We Up To This Week? 
 
This week I am replacing out a phone system! Therefore I shall be spending the week laying under floor tiles and recabling telephones!

Not my usual week but should be fun and then normal life coaching services will resume next week...

On the bowling front I went to see my team play on Thursday and they are 5th in the league !! Therefore they all seemed quite happy when I said my ankle wouldn't be up to the job before the new year...
Issue: # 69 November 14th 2009
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Greetings!

Gooooooood Morning :-)

How are you !

As always I hope you had a fantastic week and have a nice weekend lined up. Winter is most definitely here and the weather here in Great Yarmouth this morning is 'seasonal'! I love this time of year as the run in to Christmas starts and the excitement starts to build.

This week has been a strange week as I have been working very long hours and have not seen much of Jo and the children, so therefore today is all about balancing that out so as soon as I finish this we are off out for the day to relax. It is no different than my attitude to food now, if I have been out in the week for business meals then I tend to at the weekend balance it out by eating less, but if in the week I have been working and catching the occasional jacket potato then at the weekend we will go out for a nice curry.

I was talking to a journalist yesterday who asked what I ate every day now and I am sure he wanted me to answer 'sawdust and salad' but the reality is that I eat whatever the average person eats! I enjoy curry, pizza and hamburgers, I just make sure that I eat appropriate amounts of them so that I can continue to stay at a healthy weight.

A lot of people I work with who reduce their weight do have the mentality that they will eat healthily for the rest of their lives but the reality is different, you cannot maintain long term with a prison-sentence 'I can't have...' mentality. To plan what you can't have for your dinner means you will crave the things you can't have and not enjoy the things you 'allow' yourself.

Before I leave this week I want to ask you a deep question! I got asked it over a coffee on Tuesday by someone and it is an answer I wouldn't have had 5 years ago... the question is...

What is the most significant thing you want to achieve in your life?

My answer was

'To make a difference'

And that is why I do what I do. I want to make a difference and help to change other's worlds for the better. Therefore because I know what I want to do then it explains the actions I take, when I was big, I would have answered that I didn't know...

So what is your most significant thing? What do you want to acheive today? this weekend? next month? next year?

Where do you want to be in ten years time and what great things do you want to have done and be doing?

I know it's deep for a Saturday morning but if you have a goal then all you need is a plan, start doing it and you will be flying above the clouds...

Right I am off to Starbucks for a Christmas Latte and a mince pie!!

Have a great weekend and cya Saturday

Mike ;-)
Because?
 
When working with people 1-2-1 I would estimate I say 'Because' around 30 times an hour...

'Because' with a ? following it...

The reason is that 'because' makes people think and justify the belief and statement that they have just made. So for example when someone says 'I want to be slim...' I will always reply 'Because?' and most of the time they cannot answer within fifteen seconds.

I had a chat with someone this week who was 'blaming' her weight on the fact her and her boyfriend enjoyed cuddling up on the sofa and sharing boxes of chocolates and 'junk' food in the late evening.

The conversation went...

Her : 'I just love it'
Me : Because?
Her : 'I don't know really, I just really enjoy it'
Me : Because?
Her : 'Oh I don't know, It means we get to spend some quality time together as we both work so much'
Me : Ok so is this about the food or about you two spending time together?
Her : Us being together
Me : Ok then, can you think of three ways you can spend time together that doesn't involve eating on the sofa but would give you the same enjoyment?
Her : We love going to the cinema, and.....and.....

So using because means you are asking people to think why they are really doing something. So turning this to you...

Why do you do what you do? Doesn't just have to be food related... but if you want to know then ask yourself, because?

What are you going to have for dinner tonight, because?
What are you wearing today, because?

If you have any behaviour that you want to change then understand the positive reason you were doing it, so for example if you just sometimes buy a bar of chocolate and eat it for 'no reason' then ask yourself 'because'? I promise you that there was a reason for buying it and eating it and it would have had a positive intention. When I was big I used to secret eat a lot. I would go and buy a snickers and eat it as a quickly as I could. Now if I had asked myself 'Because?" the answer would have been that for that split second I was eating it, it made the world go quiet and I could concentrate on the taste of the food and not everything else falling apart in my life.

It took me to really go inside my head to get to the bottom of this diet malarky...the secret to not dieting is to understand why you do what you do and asking yourself 'Because?' and answering honestly to yourself will allow you to make shift changes.

Right I am off to Starbucks!

Because?

Because it will give me some quality time with Jo and the kids as we have a nice warm drink and share some christmas cakes. It's not about the coffee!

Right have a great week and cya Saturday

Mike ;-)
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