I spent most of my time working with ladies over guys as the diet industry tends to be that way, and hence I get asked a lot about the differences between men and women and the mindset of both.
In general the reasons behind why either sex get big is actually very similar and the more I see different people the more I see the same issues coming up again and again.
But, and this is a generalisation, there usually is one big difference between men and women when it comes to being overweight, and it was the same in my case when I was big.
For me, being big was useful as it made me believe I was tough as well. Therefore, if anyone wanted to pick on me or my family then I was this big lump of muscle that could protect and save them. The reality of course was totally different, but in my mind I thought if I was slim then I would be weak and hence get picked on. So for me one of the benefits of staying big was that it allowed me to be noticed!
Having spoken to a lot of female dieters it tends to be the other way round, by being big they actually perceive themselves as becoming invisible to the world, therefore one of the benefits of being big to them can be that they don't receive unwanted attention from the opposite sex.
Now, as I said, this is not the same for everyone. I always look for why people choose to do what they do and hence most people don't look for the benefits of why they are big, or the reasons why they don't really want to be slim.
I remember back in April 2006 going into Tesco and returning a CD album. I had just finished reducing weight and asked for my money back as the CD didn't play. The lady refused and said that they wouldn't give me my money back and would only give me a voucher. I suddenly felt very strange, the big Mike would never get refused a refund, I would ask once and get the money and hence suddenly I had lost my "super powers" and I felt helpless.
It was actually one of the episodes that really wobbled my foundations. I felt lost in my new body as the benefits of the big me had gone. I just left it and went home but it took me a few days to stop thinking about it.
So turning this to you, everyone knows why they should be slim and healthy, I don't think anyone can say that it isn't a good idea to be a good weight, but what if there was a good reason not to be that weight? What if you are a guy and need that percieved toughness? Or a girl that just wants to walk around unnoticed with your 'big' cloak on?
If you don't deal with that problem then you are unlikely to get to goal weight. If you do you will find that you don't feel like you expect to. Therefore, really take some time to look inside, do you actually get any benefit of being overweight? Or are you scared of being slim and what that might mean?
The good thing of course is by realising what the benefits are then you can replace them! For me, I went to the gym and built up my upper body so I was tougher than I ever was when I was big, and even though I haven't had any trouble since I reduced my weight, I am certainly more capable of running away now than I was then.
So, if you do get benefit from being big then what can you do to replace that and allow yourself to be the healthy, happy person you deserve to be?
Have a brilliant week!!
Mike :-)