I get a lot of people ask me what was the turning point when I decided to be slim, what was the "trigger" or the reasons etc. I have studied this a lot as it fascinates me why I waited until I was 32 years old to really do something about it.
But then I realised it was the day I took responsiblity! In NLP terms we call it cause and effect, and up to that point I was living my life in effect.
For example I blamed being big on the following reasons.
1. I had a slow metabolism.
2. My past, I learn to comfort eat and boredom eat as a child/teenager and kept that pattern of behaviour going.
3. The people at work who used to bring in food.
4. The fact I had to go out for family meals otherwise it would be rude.
5. The fact I just liked food a lot!
But ultimately the reason I got big was that I put too many calories into my body and didn't burn the same amount back out. Therefore, by living in effect and saying it wasn't my fault, though it made me feel better (not really, but I said it did!), the problem was that I couldn't change it. By blaming external factors you are effectively saying I have no control over what is happening to me.
So the day I decided to be slim was the day I thought it was actually my "fault" I got big and suddenly I was empowered and in control as overeating is just a behaviour. If you can decided to eat too much you can just as quickly decide to eat less, as long as you are in control and able to do so.
So back to my list!
1. I had a slow metabolism....Never proven! I do have a sedentary job yes but that just means I need to eat less calories than a landscape gardener. And even if I did have a slow metabolism then I still should and could have CHOSEN to eat less calories and stayed slim anyway.
2. My past....We all have pasts! Everyone has had stuff happen to them, both good and bad, but some people choose to just take the learnings from it and move on and be happy but I CHOSE to allow my past to shape my future.
3. People at work bringing in food....but I CHOSE to eat it! They still bring in loads of food now but I make sure I have it when it is appropriate and I want/need it.
4. Family meals out....The big diet breaker for me! Did loads of diets in the week and then CHOSE to break them at the weekend because we were going out or had friends round. The reality is that naturally slim people with no weight issues still go out for meals.
5. The fact I liked food a lot....Let's be honest! We all like food! I love it!! Love a nice chocolate or hot bread! But I would question in myself why I would CHOOSE to probably die of an obesity related disease just because I liked it. Therefore, the real reason I got big was because I was abusing my relationship with food and not just the fact I liked it too much.
My point this week isn't to "beat yourself up" by saying it is your fault that you got big, it is to empower people to realise by accepting the situation, having the reality check allows you to do something about it.
If you refuse to accept that something is your problem then you won't change it and it won't get any better as you can't control it to do so.
So I rejoice in the fact that I chose to get big, I had fun times being big!! it was a phase of my life, it has allowed me to help others and even allows me to work in this field now so it's all good!! I also rejoice in the fact that because I got big then it was me who got small again!
My question therefore to you this week is when it comes to your weight are you at cause or effect? is it your fault? and if it is then you already know how to solve it even before you have to think.....
Have a great week!!!
Mike :-)
