When people are stressed about something they tend to polarise the options they have and can only see an "either / or" solution.
If you have a problem to ponder over then it is very easy to just think you have to choose between the two extremes of the scale, but what if you could decide to look for other options?
I saw a lady last week 1-2-1 who said she wasn't sure whether or not to continue on a diet as she wanted to go out for a meal with her husband. She had spent the whole week trying to decide what to do and had got herself in quite a state over it.
We talked it over and I asked her what the benefit was of going out with her husband for a meal. She replied that they liked meals out together and that it was fun. We kept chatting and working through the benefits and where we finally got to was that when she went out with her husband they got some protected time away from the world and in fact the restaurant they went to had no mobile phone signal so was an oasis of peace where they could be alone and close.
Once she realised the true reason for wanting the meal we discussed what other options she could she think of that would give her the same result. After a couple of minutes she said that she was desperate to see Mamma Mia and that they could go together and see that! Of course mobiles have to be turned off in cinemas so they could get the same result. She even decided to book the posh sofa seats in the gallery of the cinema as a treat.
Therefore this "dilemma" she had was never that. She had an option C, in fact she had loads of options but just had got her mind stuck into the two options she could immediately see.
With this solution she still got to trim her weight off this week and have a new experience with her other half. We'll see what she fancies doing next week now she realises that she has infinite possibilities once she looks up from the problem.
So turning this to something you may be pondering or deciding about, are you sure there are only two options? What if Black or White was actually "Blue!" What if Yes or No was actually "Kind Of" and what if "On or Off" was actually "Half Way".
Jo and I now look for different options all the time and it works so well. We used to go to restaurants and either not have a pudding and feel deprived or have a pudding and feel over full and naughty, but now we just share a pudding!! We get the taste of the food, We get to still walk out to the car without feeling stuffed and we halve the calories. There is also the added side bonus of the romance involved in chasing the last bit of chockie pudding round the bowl!!
Have an absolutely fantastic week everyone.
Mike :-)
