| Friendly Sabotage |
But You're Doing So Well, Treat Yourself! I Don't Like To See You Suffering...
There are many kinds of sabotage when it comes to people reducing their weight. There is the very obvious kind such as the jealous friend or work colleague. There is also the close relationship sabotage where the partner of the "dieter" doesn't actually want them to succeed. It brings out their own issues, including the fear of the "dieter" leaving them and therefore they will make every effort to keep their partner from succeeding.
One of the most common types though I see is quite different and is when the "dieter" has a concerned partner, relative or friend, who perceives that reducing their weight is a struggle, or that they have done so well they deserve a treat as they just want the "dieter" to be happy. This can make reducing and maintaining weight far less easy by unintentionally sabotaging the "dieter" and not providing the strength and support required to help them reach their target.
I see many people in this situation and they always ask "How did you deal with your partner when they wanted you to eat?" or "How did you deal with social situations where you really felt the pressure of expectation to eat?" the answer is that I valued being slim so much that I was prepared to say no to everyone, including my wife and family, to make sure that I reached my goal weight. I always said that I was being selfish when I reduced my weight but ultimately I was being selfish so that I guaranteed that I would be slim and hence be around for 20 years longer to see my children grow up and annoy Jo in our retirement.
Therefore when I talk to people about deciding to be slim then it is all about values. If you value being slim more than getting drunk at a wedding then why would there be a problem in not drinking? It comes down to a choice, but that choice will be made by you and therefore if your partner buys you a box of chocolates then do you value not upsetting them by putting them in the cupboard more than being slim and being healthy?
Ultimately you can explain to your loved ones that you don't want them to buy you food based treats, you don't want them to try and organise drinks and meals and other things while you reduce your weight and explain the reason is that you are on a positive path in your life and don't want to hop off of it just yet....but if they then try and knock you out of that mindset then you need to be selfish, but with the absolute knowledge that by being slim you are going to be so much healthier and happier that it will benefit them more than they could know.
Have a fantastic week :-)
Mike
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