Just the thought of walking up to strangers at a biz bash would make my palms sweaty. It seemed that everyone there knew everyone but me. I remember numerous networking functions where I glanced around the room, saw no one else standing alone, and left. Hungry.

 

 

How did I conquer my fear? By trusting my gut. "At least," I convinced myself, "hang for the food." So, at the next few functions I smiled at the waitress and reached out for the lovely hors d'oeuvres. Tiny tidbits of canapés, crudités and mini quiches. Yum, but I was still alone. Ok, time to hit the buffet table with trays of gourmet cheeses and chocolate covered strawberries. "Easy partner," I said to myself between bites, "you're here to meet other professionals, not to clear the food tables."  

 
As I reached for one of the luscious-looking strawberries, the person next to me smiled and said, "They're heavenly." And, just like that I was engaged in a conversation with someone with a common interest -- strawberries! One thing led to the next, and soon we were talking about her father's farm in Kansas, then her accounting firm in Alexandria. And, yes, she needed a new logo and marketing video. Who knew conversation could be so nourishing?

 
If you, too, struggle at networking events, here are some more pointers to help your conversations flow like a chocolate waterfall.

 

1.     When engaged in conversation and there seems to be a common thread, put on your good-listener hat. Most people love to talk about themselves, so let them.
 
2.     When asked about yourself and your business, be able to tell your corporate story in a 30- to 60-second snapshot. Practice what you are going to say. If you sense genuine interest, talk a few minutes longer, then stop and ask for permission to call within the next few days. No conversation should last more than five minutes unless there's a good reason.
 
3.     A trick I've learned: look at name tags to see if there could be a mutual interest. Check out not only the name, but the company and position before you start an introduction.  If the name tag reads "librarian," the attendee may be lovely and for sure quiet, but probably won't need your services unless you sell books.
 
4.     Retain eye contact. One gentleman to whom I introduced myself kept eye contact with me for, hum, 3 ½ seconds, then for the rest of our "conversation" looked over my left shoulder at all the young ladies walking by.
 
5.     Always turn off cell phones and Blackberrys.
 
6.     In case your mom never told you, chewing gum or talking with a mouthful of food...trés déclassè.
 
7.     Avoid excessive drinking.
 
8.     Don't interrupt. 
 
9.     Know who's sponsoring the event.  

 
Like fine wine, the art of event conversation mellows with age until now-effortless conversations yield warm, pleasant exchanges and new business prospects.