Healthy Reflections Newsletter
                                  http://www.mentalhealthcorner.com
 
 101 ExpertsLinda Young,Ph.D.
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
November 4, 2008 
in this issue
Helping Your Child Overcome Fear
Quotes To Ponder
Today's Sponsor
Check Out Our Previous Editions
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Halloween is done for another year and the Election is finally here!  I don't know about you but, whoever wins, I think most of us agree the campaign has gone on way too long.  Maybe we should take our cue from the French (yes, they occasionally do have some good ideas!)  They arrange their Presidential campaign to last for only an eight week period.  Regardless, for all the focus on the economy, our jobs, stress from work and home and the everyday problems we encounter, let's take a moment to be grateful for the wonderful country we live in.
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Helping Your Child Overcome Fear: 
 
Infants are born with only two innate fears:  the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises.  All other fears are learned.  However, fear is part of our emotional makeup that helps us to identify danger. When children sense that something is wrong, they may feel an intense anxiety, causing their heart rate and blood pressure to increase, as well as sweating, shaking or running away from their object of fear. In cases where children are highly fearful, they may run to their parents with loud shrieks or screams. The sense of fear may not relate proportionally to the threat or danger that is evident. This is called "irrational fear". When fear stops a child from functioning in their normal environment, it has become a "phobia".

HOW ARE FEARS DEVELOPED?

There are several ways that children develop fear. The child's first main contact with fear is usually developed by relating cause and effect. For instance, a loud noise like the discharge of a gun may cause a child to be afraid if he/she sees negative effects resulting from the discharge. A child may run away to hide whenever she/he sees a gun - avoiding the object of fear.

A second way that fear is developed in children is by observing the actions of others - usually their parents - and imitating them. For example, whenever a child sees a parent shriek or run away from a spider, the child learns that spiders are objects of fear.

Sometimes fears are developed when parents "reward" the child for showing a fearful response. For example, a child may avoid using a bath towel that has "germs" on it for fear of being contaminated. If a clean towel is given each time a child requests it because of "germs" then you really are only rewarding the fear response, rather than helping to solve the root cause.


HOW CAN PARENTS HELP THEIR CHILD OVERCOME FEAR?

Here are seven steps to help your child to overcome fear.

1. Don't model fearful reactions.
2. Show them that you can cope and don't need to avoid fearful.  
3. Teach your child how to cope with fearful situations.
4. Praise your child when they cope rather than run away.
5. Keep a calm atmosphere during unsettled periods.
6. Stay firm and keep a positive outlook.
7. Talk about genuine threats to provide a balanced view.

Your children's fear can be reduced by working through the fearful situation directly with your child. By showing that you are able to handle fearful situations you can help your child to "outgrow" most fears that are common in children.
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 Quotes To Ponder:
 
 Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time. - Thomas Edison,  American Inventor and Entrepreneur
 
 The aim of argument, or of discussion, should not be victory, but progress. - Joseph Joubert,  French Moralist and Essayist

The person who seeks all their applause from outside has their happiness in another's keeping. - Dale Carnegie, American Author and Achievement Expert
 
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Today's Sponsor:
 
How to Survive an Affair: A Step-by-Step System for Saving YourRelationship after It's Been Shattered by an Affair by Dr.Frank Gunzburg.  Dr. Gunzburg teaches a system for restoring a marriage that has been ripped apart by an affair. He outlines the three specific phases for restoring the trust back into a torn relationship. To learn more about his program,click on:
 
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