| Below is another one of the papers I have recently pulled out of some old files. Unfortunately, I don't know the author's name ---but he or she certainly is a wise individual. I read from Dr. Gary Chapman's recent book "Everybody Wins" on conflict resolution, that most individuals wait only 17 seconds before they interrupt their spouse or partner in an argument. It's highly likely that this statistic applies to other types of our communication as well. Hopefully, the below poem can give us some insight into how we can become better listeners.
Listen
When I ask you to listen to me,
And you start giving me advice
You have not done what I have asked.
When I ask that you listen to me,
And you begin to tell me why
I shouldn't feel that way,
You are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me,
And you feel you have to do
Something to solve my problems,
You have failed me.
Strange as that may seem.
Listen: All that I ask is that you listen.
Not talk or do- just hear me.
When you do something for me
That I need to do for myself
You contribute to my fear and feelings of inadequacy.
But when you accept as a simple fact
That I do feel what I feel,
No matter how irrational,
Then I can quit trying to convince you
And go about the business of understanding
What's behind my feelings.
So, please listen and just hear me.
And, if you want to talk,
Wait a minute for your turn -
And I'll listen to you.
---Anonymous
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
| 
Healthy Reflections Newsletter
