Healthy Reflections Newsletter
                     http://www.mentalhealthcorner.com
 
 
 
Linda Young,Ph.D.
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Publisher
November 12, 2007
in this issue
Living With Risk In Our Lives
Principles For Raising A Child With ADHD
Stress Tip
Quotes To Ponder
Mental Health Dictionary
Today's Sponsor
Halloween has sped by us and, hopefully, the kid in each of us had a great time!  Now the holidays loom ahead.  I think I heard my first Christmas carol on October 8th.  It seems the commercialization intensifies each year.  But I do believe it's possible to find "calm within the midst of the storm."  I'd be interested in knowing how you, the subscriber, finds ways to enjoy Christmas, Hannukah or Kwanza without experiencing the down-side of stress.  If you'd be kind enough to write to me at: feedback@mentalhealthcorner.com, I'll post your comments (either with or without your name) in the following newsletters.
 
This edition includes an article on living our lives with the element of risk and another on the principles for parenting children with ADHD.  I hope you'll find something useful in this edition.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Living With Risk In Our Lives

 

One of the most important aspects of living a healthy and prosperous life is understanding the concept of  "risk." By this I mean knowing how to understand and analyze situations in life that affect our health and well-being. Being able to accurately weigh benefits and risks when making healthy decisions is very important. Too often decisions are based on incomplete or inaccurate information.  This can lead to huge mistakes with with significant consequences!

Failure to accurately assess risk keeps people locked in all kinds of unhealthy situations including poor eating and exercise habits, lifestyle choices, relationships and jobs. Sometimes we're afraid to step out and make a change.  Many of us view making a change as extremely "risky" when the REAL risk comes from doing the same thing over and over again. Living with the stress, unhappiness and frustration of indecision and poor health can be the greatest risk of all.

Assessing "risk" is nothing more than collecting information, weighing the alternatives and then making appropriate decisions based on the information.

Failure to accurately assess risk limits us in many ways. For example, we may imagine the "risk" of talking with our children about drugs, dating or sex as too high so we put off having the "talk," even though the risks of NOT talking are infinitely greater.

 

The goods news is that failure to accurately assess risk is reversible.  We can effect positive change in our lives by following a few simple steps to accurately assess risk:

1. Accurately define your present situation and assess your identified "risks".  What are the consequences if you DON'T change? Weigh the benefits of healthier living vs. the potential risks such as increased cost, inconvenience or discomfort.

2. What do you stand to gain if you change your present circumstances? Assess the "up-side" potential. Too often we look only at the "downside" risk and forget the benefits. What good things might happen if you take the risk and win?

3. Limit the "down-side" if you happen to make a wrong decision. Don't continue down a path if it does not produce results.  Clear, concise, realistic objectives will definitely help in your planning. 

4. Reduce your risk by being willing to seek outside help.  Understand the situation and seek the advice of experts in the field you are concerned about. This includes finding and forming partnerships to receive support and get good advice.

5. Have a fall-back position. If the decision you make fails to produce the desired results, be prepared to take a long, hard look at the circumstances and be prepared to change what you are doing.

Everything in life involves some element of risk. Driving your car, meeting someone new, crossing the street...but we do these things every day. Winners in life are willing to accept reasonable risks. Get involved and be smart about how you play the game. Be prepared for a few failures along the way, but don't quit.  Failure is not in making mistakes ---it's in not getting up and continuing on.  In living a healthier, more fulfilled life, we need to remember the words of Winston Churchill when he said, "Never, never, never give up!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
Guiding Principles For Raising A Child With ADHD
 
1)   Give your child more immediate feedback and consequences.
2)   Give your child more frequent feedback.
3)   Use larger and more powerful consequences.
4)   Use incentives before punishment.
5)   Make thinking and problem solving more physical.
6)   Strive for consistency.
7)   Act, don't yak!
8)   Plan ahead for problem situations.
9)   Keep a disability perspective.
10)  Don't personalize your child's problems or disorder.
11)  Practice forgiveness.
 
Adapted from Taking Charge of ADHD (rev. ed.) by Russell Barkley, Ph.D., The Guilford Press, New York, 2000.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Stress Tip:
by G. Gaynor McTigue
 
Don't say it, do it. 
 
 Boasting about the wonderful things you're going to do for yourself and others
can actually be your undoing. For one, now you're expected to do them.
Secondly, if you don't do them you appear weak, unreliable and irresponsible.
If you really want to impress people, don't reveal what you intend to do...but
simply do it. They'll be surprised and pleased with your accomplishment, and
even more moved by your modesty. And if for some reason you can't get it
done, no one will be the wiser. Why make yourself crazy?

 

Root out stress in virtually every area of your life. Get 300 stress eliminating
strategies right now in the acclaimed e-Book edition of Why Make Yourself
Crazy.
To learn more, click on: 
------------------------------------------------------------
 
Quotes To Ponder:
 
Dreams are renewable no matter what our age. --- Dale Turner
 
It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help. --- Judith Martin
 
Watch your thoughts; they become words.  Watch your words; they become actions.  Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character.  Watch your character; it becomes your destiny. --- Frank Outlaw
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
Mental Health Dictionary:
 
Cognitive/Behavioral Therapy:
 
A combination of cognitive and behavioral therapies, this approach helps people change negative thought patterns, beliefs, and behaviors so they can manage symptoms and enjoy more productive, less stressful lives.
 
---  National Institute of Mental Health
 
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today's Sponsor:
 
How to Survive an Affair: A Step-by-Step System for Saving Your Relationship After It's Been Shattered By An Affair by Dr.Frank Gunzburg.
 
Dr. Gunzburg teaches a system for restoring a marriage that has been ripped apart by an affair. He outlines the three specific phases for restoring the trust back into a torn relationship. To learn more about his program, click on:
 
 
 
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
                    Healthy Reflections Newsletter
                                       http://www.mentalhealthcorner.com
                                     Linda Young, Ph.D., LMFT
                                                Publisher
                                           (850) 656-1404
                             email:  info@mentalhealthcorner.com
 
Do you know of someone who might enjoy receiving this newsletter?  If so, click on the "Forward email" link below and send it over to them.