Healthy Reflections Newsletter
               http://www.mentalhealthcorner.com
                 
 
 
              
 Linda Young, Ph.D.
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Publisher
March 20, 2008
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Yeah!  Today is the first day of spring!  Here in Tallahassee, we're being met with some rainy weather to welcome the season, but we're also seeing signs of dogwoods and azaleas blooming.  (Plus for those of us with allergies, there's plenty of evidence of pine pollen and other irritants).  For those of you in the northern areas, my hope is that you will soon be done with the snow, ice and flooding.  Nature has a way of keeping us from getting bored with the weather, doesn't she?
 
Today's article discusses ways of finding "me" time as a person in coupleship.  So often we're so focused on the relationship we're in, we don't take time to tend to our own physical and emotional needs.  I hope you will find some of the tips useful.
 
As always, I invite you to give me feedback on articles or topics you'd like to see in Healthy Reflections newsletter.  Your comments or questions are always welcomed.  You can reach me at: feedback@mentalhealthcorner.com.
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Are You Losing Yourself In Your Relationship?
 
After that long search, you finally found someone who you think is the person you have searched for all of your life.  After a while, though, you start to feel as though you have no time for yourself. Everybody desires to have a healthy relationship with that ideal person. When you have one, you will need to work toward sustaining it.  However, one of the errors people are inclined to make is to forget about the "me" time in their relationship.

It's not good for you to always be around your loved one.  Spending a little  "me" time brings flavor and interest to your relationship so that you have a lot more to offer your partner. This is a common problem with couples - whether they are still in the newlywed level of romance or have been together for a long time.

Many folks spend so much time with their significant other or spouse that they feel perplexed and lonely when they are left alone for any period of time. Here are a few ways  you can begin to nurture yourself so that you are able to commit the best to your lover when it is time to be a couple:

1. Spend an evening reading that book you have been longing to get your hands on. Tranquil time at home savoring a good book with no disruptions may energize you when you meet up with your loved one once again.

2. Catch a motion picture that you have wanted to see, but your partner was not interested in seeing (like a good chick flick). Do not deny yourself something you would like to do only because your partner does not wish to do it.

3. Visit your family. Passing time with your family may help you keep a relationship strong. We frequently alienate our own family in favor of a brand-new love interest.
 
4. Go out with friends. Passing time with your friends allows you to loosen up and be yourself without worrying how you are coming across to the other person. If your partner displays jealousy to an extreme degree when you are with family or friends, then this may be a red flag that your relationship is not a healthy bond after all.

5. Play sports or do your favorite hobby or activity. If you are a golfer for instance, and your partner is not, there is no reason why you should not take a day and hit the links. Take in a friendly game with someone or just play a round by yourself. if you like to sew, as another example, spend the day doing that. Just because your mate finds it boring, does not mean you can't do it.

6. Enjoy a bubble bath or whirlpool. Baby yourself with a bubble bath, hot tub, whirlpool or massage. Make yourself feel good and get energized for the next time you get together with your partner.

7. You can go shopping and buy something for yourself.  Dine out if you would like to splurge on that "huge chocolate dessert" you are always too ashamed to have your lover see you devouring. Spend a day and window shop or go exploring the city.

A flourishing relationship demands "me" as much as "we" time. Make certain to plan a healthy dose of both in your relationship. And when your partner begins to find his or her own "me" time, allow him or her the freedom to reconnect with their own soul, too. Your relationship will only grow stronger.
 
 
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Quotes To Ponder:
 
Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless. - Mother Teresa, 1910-1997, Albanian-born Humanitarian and Missionary

We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible. - Vince Lombardi, 1913-1970, Hall of Fame American Football Coach


 You've got to get to the stage in life where going for it is more important than winning or losing. - Arthur Ashe, 1943-1993, American Tennis Player

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. - Carl Jung, 1875-1961, Swiss Psychiatrist

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Mental Health Dictionary:
 
Cultural competence:
  
Help that is sensitive and responsive to cultural differences. Caregivers are aware of the impact of culture and possess skills to help provide services that respond appropriately to a person's unique cultural differences, including race and ethnicity, national origin, religion, age, gender, sexual orientation, or physical disability. They also adapt their skills to fit a family's values and customs.
 
--- National Institutes of Mental Health
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                    Healthy Reflections Newsletter
                                       http://www.mentalhealthcorner.com
                                     Linda Young, Ph.D., LMFT
                                                Publisher
                                           (850) 656-1404
                             email:  info@mentalhealthcorner.com
 
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