| Quotes of the Month
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"The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made." - Groucho Marx "I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks." - Joe E. Lewis
"I haven't been able to slam-dunk the basketball for the past five years. Or, for the thirty-eight years before that, either."
- Dave Barry
"They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they'd make up their minds."
- Wilt Chamberlain
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Joke Time
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A man walking along a country road comes across a farmer driving a huge flock of sheep. He stops and chats for a while and then says, "Tell you what, I'll bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in that flock." The farmer thinks for a moment, it is a big flock and he can't see how anyone could guess correctly so he says, "OK. You're on."
"Nine hundred and thirty two," says the man.
The farmer takes off his hat and scratches his head. "I don't know how you did it but that's exactly right. A bet's a bet. Take any sheep." The man picks up an animal and is about to walk off when the farmer says, "Hang on. Bet you double or nothing that I can guess your occupation." The man thinks, "How would he know, he's never met me before" and says "OK, you're on". The farmer says, "You re an actuary with a big insurance company." The man whistles. "How the heck did you know that?"
"Well," says the farmer, "put my dog down and I'll tell you."
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Dingbats and Dillweeds: Because Everyone Loves an Idiot!
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Today's horoscope - Pisces: "Money issues arise. You will meet a tall, handsome actuary, who will raise your auto insurance rates."
After releasing a study finding Scorpios had the fewest car accidents last year, while Virgos have the most, Allstate assured customers that "astrological signs have absolutely no role in how we set rates." I had college friends that would do this for a box of hot Krispy Kremes.For $200 an hour, a Maryland firm will rent parents a trained dog that can sniff out even trace quantities of marijuana in the home.
Sounds like the original researchers had something in common with those trained dogs.
All those true believers that the Mayan calendar predicted the end of days on December 21, 2012, were stunned when researchers found an error in the Mayan/current calendar conversion formula that showed the actual date may be 50 to 100 years off.
I bet the coach's momma didn't dance and his daddy didn't rock and roll. Probably the type to have rented one of those dogs, too.
Parents are suing an Indiana school after their son was kicked off the school football team for refusing to cut his long hair. Their lawyer says the parents want the team short hair requirement declared unconstitutional, and are teaching their son "that you fight for what's right."
Source: The Week
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Diamond in the Coal: IIF Web Site of the Month
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Sure, as every seminar presenter in the insurance universe has been shouting from the digital rooftops for months, video may be the latest and greatest absolutely-essential-or-you-risk-being-labeled-a-dinosaur addition to your communications platform. But if you really want to stand out from that flood of Flip and iPhone induced video shorts, why not take a page from Pixar and check out animation?
The appropriately titled Xtranormal allows anyone to take a shot at creating clever animated stories suitable for publishing to the web from just a text script and a bit of mouse work. You may not develop the next Toy Story, but it may be the bit of life your web site, blog, tweet or Facebook page needs. Heck, even staid Geico has put their toe in the Xtranormal waters.
But you don't need millions - your first efforts are totally free. Then, if you get hooked, for a few dollars options for more bells and whistles are yours for the asking! Samples on You Tube and Xtranormal's site abound. Have some fun and perhaps discover your inner Disney. Check it out!
Start your Creativity!
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Product Deal of the Month: Let Your IIF Flag Fly!
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If it's such a soft market, why are these such hard times?  So don't get run down by another competitor or prepare another resume until you peruse the plethora of potential spirit-lifting possibilities at the IIF Store! Where else can you get that perfect insurance day brightener with that perfect insurance message such as "Bind me, Baby!" or "Kiss me, I'm All Risk!" or a personal favorite "Forget my exclusions, let's talk about your limitations!" Too many gloom-dissipating options to decide? Not willing to guess wrong on that clothing size? Practice true risk management with an IIF gift certificate! Perhaps that insurance person on your list enjoys combining flawlessly correct coverage interpretations with a bit of humor and musicality? Then he or she will love a copy of the latest collection of coverage articles from Chris Amrhein: "Yes, Virginia, There is Insurance!" But you better hurry! Your favorite insurance person could be going out on that ledge even now - click that link! Oh, the Days You Will Brighten, the Careers You May Save!
SPECIAL - SPECIAL - SPECIAL - SPECIAL!! ONE DAY ONLY SALE ON IIF'S WORLD FAMOUS JOURNALS! Click here for the Deal! 
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Picture of the Month: Ever have one of those days?
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"You need a break," she says. "This office stress is turning your life upside down," she says. "Go to the beach, do something relaxing, and soon you'll have a whole new point of view," she says.
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