| Quotes of the Month
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"It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it."
- Steven Wright
"Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average... which means, you have met your New Year's resolution." - Jay Leno
"I drink too much. Last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it."
- Rodney Dangerfield
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Joke Time
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On New Year's Eve, Roger was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his van in the parking lot and walked home. As he was wobbling along, he was stopped by a policeman. 'What are you doing out here at four o'clock in the morning?' asked the police officer. 'I'm on my way to a lecture,' answered Roger. 'And who on earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time on New Year's Eve?' enquired the cop sarcastically. 'My wife,' slurred Roger grimly.
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Dingbats and Dillweeds: Because Everyone Loves an Idiot!
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Plus, his credit score got him a discount on his auto insurance!
A cat has been summoned for Massachusetts jury duty after his owner listed him on her census form. When she tried to get Sal disqualified by citing his limited language skills, the court told her he must attend jury selection as "jurors are not expected to speak perfect English." Too bad Sal didn't show. Surely a jury-summoned cat is exotic.A Russian traveling circus is in hot water with authorities after the advertised "exotic" animals turned out to be household pets. Thousands of people were angry after showing up at a show expecting "death defying acts" along with bears, crocodiles, and monkeys. Instead, attendees found a few poodles, one crocodile, and fumbling jugglers.
What that circus really needs is this fox!
A Belarus hunter was shot in the leg when he approached a wounded fox, attempting to finish the job with the butt of his rifle. In the ensuing struggle, the fox pulled the trigger with its paw.
Babe reported to be furious, may file suit; farmer merely commented "It'll do, dog, it'll do."
A sheep farmer has found extra income renting out her flock to owners of bored sheepdogs. Apparently a border collie's herding instincts are so strong he will chew up the house and/or try to herd other animals if no sheep are available. Getting $15 for temporary use of a field and 200 sheep, the farmer says she gets up to 18 clients per day who realize they "need to get their dog a job."
Source: The Week
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Mourning the Loss of the Two-martini Lunch
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No, Co-Chief Fun Officer Pete van Aartrijk hasn't overdosed on Mad men episodes. And he isn't just walowing in nostalgia. He's onto a real social networking insight - one that could literally intoxicate your business! Liquid Conversation: shaken or stirred? |
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Diamond in the Coal: IIF Web Site of the Month
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You know the drill. A breathless email arrives, forwarded by a trusted friend, warning you about the latest effort by "them" to ruin all that is fair and true! How dare the liberal media bury that great story about Billy Graham in New Orleans! Revenge is sweet - bet that snooty luxury department store wishes they hadn't coldly snubbed that nice lady now that she has stolen their cookie recipe and is sharing it with the masses! Quick before the offer expires - just forward this email to everyone you know and Microsoft will send you $25 per name! I know it's true - I checked!
Amazing tales or urban legends? For the often fascinating "tale behind the tale" on all of the above and hundreds more - or maybe just to dig up a few new ones to send along yourself - there is only one site to see: click that baby!
Find the Diamonds!
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Product Deal of the Month: Time to win those Hearts and Minds!
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Hey, IIF fans! Valentines Day is just around the corner. Looking for that perfect - and UNIQUE - gift for your insurance-oriented significant other? Let it never be said we at IIF are anything less than incurable romantics!
In fact, we have developed a special collection of great items designed just for Valentines Day! Can you think of a better what to say "I love you" than an Insurance is fun! Teddy Bear? (OK, we'll grant you a diamond is impressive, but you get the point.)
Check out our special products and "such a deal" special offers today. Hurry - Valentines Day will soon be history, and so will these offers!
Click on, Young Lovers, Whoever you are!
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Picture of the Month: Reasons the relationship ended #8
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"Of course I secured the boat to the trailer", he says. "Yes, it's properly tied down", he says. "Why don't you ever trust me?", he says. "I AM watching the road!", he says.
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