| Quotes of the Month
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"May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!"
- Anonymous
"You know that just before that first Thanksgiving dinner there was one wise, old Native American woman saying, "Don't feed them. If you feed them, they'll never leave."
- Dylan Brody
"You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out." - Jay Leno
"What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?"
-Erma Bombeck
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Hear ye, Hear ye - Listening to us, you get the IIF Funcast!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Joke Time
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A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says,"I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her."
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this,"
She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."
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Dingbats and Dillweeds: Because Everyone Loves an Idiot!
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On the other hand, the t-shirt fundraiser is setting online sales records.
The Wakefield Track and Field Team had to return their new t-shirts emblazoned with the team initials after school officials admitted they were unaware what "WTF" meant in text-speak. In further news, risk managers declare Florida, California and Hawaii most dangerous locations in America!The Ghandi museum removed all the ripe coconuts from the trees prior to President Obama's recent visit. "People do get hurt, or even killed, from falling coconuts", said a museum official. "Why take a chance?"
Gee, I felt the same way during my first CGL exam.
A Florida man claims he suffered "severe abdominal pain and discomfort" after eating an entire grilled artichoke. The restaurant, he says, owed him a duty to explain that only the tender, inner leaves are digestible.
If you are among those unfortunate few who didn't go to high school with a cannibalistic serial killer, try showing up in your Insurance is Fun t-shirt!
A juror candidate was quickly sent home after he told the judge and lawyers that yes, he did know someone convicted of a crime - seventeen murders, to be exact. Seems he used to hang out in high school with Jeffrey Dahmer.
What a relief! Now when clinging for your life to that ice cliff at 27,000 feet, at least you won't have to worry about your crops wilting in Farmville.
Ncell, a Nepali telecom firm, has constructed a new 3G facility on Mount Everest, allowing climbers of the world's tallest mountain to make cell calls, send videos and access the internet all the way to the top.
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Diamond in the Coal: IIF Web Site of the Month
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Have you ever wondered where the truly creative minds hang out? Ready to be not just educated but stunned? Not just interested but inspired? From John Wooden to Bill Gates to folks you never heard of, from business to technology to music and comedy, TED regularly goes beyond informative to total jawdropping.
With a simple mantra - Ideas Worth Spreading: "Riveting talks by remarkable people, free to the world" - TED is a video portal into the current and future minds of creativity and genius. Whether you need a wake-up call, motivation, inspiration or just a brain break, fasten your seat belt and feed your head at TED!
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Product Deal of the Month: Sale at IIF store!
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It's that time of the year, Ebeneezer!
Don't dot another "i", Bob Cratchit, until you peruse the plethora of potential present possibilities at the IIF Store! Where else can you get that perfect insurance gift with that perfect insurance message such as "Bind me, Baby!" or "Kiss me, I'm All Risk!" or a personal favorite "Forget my exclusions, let's talk about your limitations!"
Too many great gift options to decide? Not willing to guess wrong on that clothing size? Practice true risk management with an IIF gift certificate!
Perhaps that insurance person on your list enjoys reading? Then he or she will love a copy of the appropriately titled book from Chris Amrhein: "Yes, Virginia, There is Insurance!"
And don't forget the Friends & Family Sale in the IIF store from November 20-23. Shop for gifts and save $10 on orders of $50+ (use code: Friend10). Buy gifts now and save!
But you better hurry! Surprise your favorite insurance person with that perfect IIF gift under the tree. Click that link now!
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Picture of the Month: Reason #23 to not text while driving
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"Marsha, like OMG, LMAO! U R...HELP!!!!!!"
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