| Quotes of the Month
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""I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first""
- George Rogers
"I feel like I'm the best, but you're not going to get me to say that."
- Jerry Rice
"I wouldn't ever set out to hurt anyone deliberately unless it was important -- like a league game."
- Dick Butkus
"I have seen women walk right past a TV set with a football game on and - this always amazes me - not stop to watch, even if the TV is showing replays of what we call a "good hit," which is a tackle that causes at least one major internal organ to actually fly out of a player's body."
- Dave Barry
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Hear ye, Hear ye - Listening to us, you get the IIF Funcast!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Joke Time
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An MIT student spent an entire summer going to the Harvard football field every day wearing a black and white striped shirt, walking up and down the field for ten or fifteen minutes throwing birdseed all over the field, blowing a whistle and then walking off the field. At the end of the summer, when it came time for the first Harvard home football game, the referee walked onto the field and blew the whistle. The game had to be delayed for a half hour to wait for the birds to get off of the field.
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A first-grade teacher explains to her class that she is an Colts fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Colts fans
too. Not really knowing what a Colts fan was, but wanting to be liked by
their teacher, their hands fly into the air.
There is, however, one exception. Kelly has not
gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to
be different. "Because I'm not a Colts fan" she reports.
"Then," asks the teacher," What are you?"
"I'm a Bears fan," boasts the little girl.
The teacher asks Susie why she is a Bears fan.
"Well, my Dad and Mom are Bears fans, so I'm a Bears fan too," she responds.
"That's no reason," the teacher says. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot. What would you be then?"
Kelly smiles and says, "Then I'd be a Colts fan."
MANDATORY DISCLAIMER: Actual team names used only in attempt to make this alleged joke understandable. Names selected do not imply, suggest, indicate or assume any opinion on the part of IIF as to actual application of the preceding joke to those actual teams, their namesakes, fans, employees, beer vendors or other connected and/or interested parties. If the reader finds no humor in the preceding joke, it is possible such intended humor was intercepted, corrupted, lost, destroyed, arrived late or incomplete, or contained viruses. If you do not see the humor, then you are not the intended recipient or have received this e-mail in error. Please delete all copies of this e-mail, including all attachments without reading or saving anything to any storage device. Then get a life.
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Dingbats and Dillweeds: Because Everyone Loves an Idiot!
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I've heard of smoking a drive, and burning up the greens, but firing up a fairway?
Forget "Fore!" "Fire!" was the cry of the day for a golfer whose off-target swing sparked a 12-acre blaze in Southern California. The golfer at the Shady Canyon Golf Course in Irvine landed a shot in the rough Saturday.
On his next swing, his club snagged a rock, causing a spark that lit the rough ablaze and eventually attracted 150 firefighters to the scene.
Fire officials say the fire burned through the rough, into vegetation next to the course and over two dry, brushy hillsides.
No charges were filed against the golfer, whose name was withheld.
Forget the frame, masonry and wind-resistive. How much for a 2400 square foot ATM?
A gang of German robbers trying to blow open an ATM machine used too much explosive and destroyed the entire bank. While reducing the bank to rubble and damaging cars more than 100 yards away, the ATM was left completely intact. Maybe all insurance fraud investigators should be nuns.
In full view of several witnesses, a young petty thief reached through a car window and stole a wallet. Elderly Sister Lynn Rettinger, using the authoritative voice she'd perfected over five decades of teaching school, approached and informed the thief firmly, "You need to give me what you have." The shamefaced thief handed her the wallet, apologized for his behavior, and ran away.
And thus, in one fell swoop, scientists explain drunks, needy relatives and the IRS.
Researchers have compared the genetic blueprint of a sponge from the Great Barrier Reef to those of several other organisms, including humans, and were surprised to find we have about 70% of genes in common. This has led scientists to suspect that the organism from which all multicellular life evolved millions of years ago was probably a sponge.
Source: The Week, Fox News
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Is your brand cramped? Try Brand Camp!
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The agenda is set, and the time draws nigh. Are ready to take that next step into your future success?
In insurance branding, you must change or be changed. Don't try it alone. Learn, interact and team up with peers and experts this October at Aartrijk Brand Camp 2010 in Austin, Texas, at the Driskill Hotel.
For more information, including the agenda, a brochure and how to register, click that link! |
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Diamond in the Coal: IIF Web Site of the Month
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Ever wondered why the bright colors of leaves in the fall are just so darn attractive that folks will drive hundreds of miles just to sit in a traffic jam on the Blue Ridge Parkway or pretty much anywhere in New England? Perhaps one reason is that, despite literally thousands of individual shades and hues, they somehow blend into an overall tapestry that is rich and inspiring!
How about your agency's colors? Do they inspire? Attract the right kind of attention? Or were they haphazardly thrown together from whatever was on sale at the office store or, worse, chosen on a whim along the lines of 70s clothing? (Love the purple paisley tie with the yellow shirt and the plaid pants, dude!)
Away with boring, snoozing colors. Up with your brand! Adobe has created Kuler, a web site where anyone can truly see how various colors interact with each other to set a mood or deliver an emotion. Review ideas created by others or try out your own. Upload a photo with the colors you like and let Kuler translate it into a color chart. Once you find your "theme", save it, name it, download it, share it, make it happen!
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News Flash: "LIKE" IIF on FACEBOOK!
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Pink Floyd may want to see you on the dark side of the moon, but we'd like you to drop by our Facebook page! Digitally drop on by our branch office and check out the scene. And be social, as in networking! Post your fun comments, links or a photo of yourself in IIF gear - invade our privacy, we don't care!
And we swear a mighty oath (or mighty pledge, in those localities where oaths are illegal or frowned upon) to never ask you to help build our sawmill in Frontierville, nor solicit you to gamble at our Mafia Wars casino in Vegas.
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Product Deal of the Month: Fall colors!
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Ah, the shorter days and cooler nights are here.
And what better way to add some warmth and color to your life than an brand new IIF item with that colorful "orange means fall" logo! Let the world see you looking good while having fun - Insurance is fun, that is!
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Picture of the Month: Homeowners Underwriter Nightmare #27 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fred's fingers hovered over the "send" button on that internet homeowners insurance quote website, knowing in mere minutes his house would be within five miles of the valley fire department.
Source: Stupidity.com
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