| Quotes of the Month
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"It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course. "
- Hank Aaron
"The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs."
- Henny Youngman
"You've just got one problem. You stand too close to the ball after you've hit it. "
- Sam Snead
"If you are caught on a golf
course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not
even God can hit a 1-iron."
- Lee Trevino
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Hear ye, Hear ye - Listening to us, you get the IIF Funcast!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Joke Time
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Fred got home from his Sunday round of golf later than normal and very tired. "Bad day at the course?" his wife asked. "Everything was going fine," he said. "Then Harry had a heart attack and died on the 10th tee." "Oh, that's awful!" "You're not kidding. For the whole back nine it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry."
***
A very angry golfer was on his way to carding a round of 150. He
turned to his caddy and said, "You must be the worst caddy in the
world."
"That would be too much of a
coincidence, sir", quietly answered the caddy.
***
Golfer: This is the worst course I've ever played on. Caddy: This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago.
***
Bill and Mike are playing a spectacular new golf course built on very scenic terrain.
They reach the 8th hole, where Bill slices a ball into a thickly wooded,
deep ravine. But determined not to take a penalty stroke, he
grabs his 8-iron and starts down into the ravine to find his
ball.
The brush is thick and tearing at Bill's clothes. The sunlight
is dimmed by all the overhanging branches and vines. But Bill keeps
searching, and finally spots something shiny down below.
As he nears the object, he realizes it's not a ball, but a golf club. Bill takes a closer look only to discover that it is an 8-iron - and it's
in the hands of a human skeleton laying near an old golf ball.
Bill yells out for his partner. "Hey Mike, get over here, I got trouble!" Brandon hurries over to the edge of the ravine and yells down, "What's the matter?"
Bill replies, "Bring me my 7-iron. You can't get out of this stuff with an 8."
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Dingbats and Dillweeds: Because Everyone Loves an Idiot!
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The fool! Everyone knows you only play Frontierville during meetings.
A politician in Bulgaria was removed from a city council committee
because of sinking excessive amounts of time into FarmVille during
meetings. According to news sources,
the councilman defended his game play by pointing to
the fact his colleagues were also playing, so much so that they had
reached a higher level him. Apparently that argument didn't hold weight
with the majority of the counsel though, as he was narrowly voted
out by a margin of 20-19.
If he wins this, I'm filing a class action for all males whose fathers made them mow the lawn in Florida during August.A Marine recruit from Texas is suing the Marine Corps, claiming he suffered heat stroke after being forced to exercise on a hot summer day, He alleges that Marine instructors demanded he perform "vigorous physical activity" on a 100 degree day without "an adequate amount of cool, fresh water." Reason #27 not to sign up for the "Do Not Text" list.
A recent survey in Britain found that 20% of racy texts are sent to the wrong person.
Perhaps the above percentage is just those who lied when their spouse or partner found those messages: "Honest, honey, I meant to send it to YOU!"
A study by OnePoll.com found that one in five adults in Great Britain is in love with someone other than their partner or spouse.
Source: The Week
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Is your brand cramped? Try Brand Camp!
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Your agency's brand is created by forces within and outside your agency. The tone of voice in which you answer the phone, how quickly and courteously your staff handles claims, what your Web site and ads look like -- these brand touch points, along with forces in the marketplace, are shaping your brand. Your brand is what prospects and consumers use to make decisions about whether to work with you in the future (and whether to complain about or praise you).
In insurance branding, you must change or be changed. Don't try it alone. Learn, interact and team up with peers and experts this October at Aartrijk Brand Camp 2010 in Austin, Texas, at the Driskill Hotel.
For more information, including a brochure and how to register, click that link! |
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Diamond in the Coal: IIF Web Site of the Month
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Has your web surfing gone from "Kawabunga, dude!" to "Save my life, I'm going down for the last time!"? Perhaps you should seek solace and assistance amongst the many and filtered offerings posted at Mashable.com. From the sublime to the ridiculous, and all manner in between, Mashable gathers interesting web postings about social networking, business, entertainment, tech and whatever else strikes their fancy. Their discoveries are then posted on one easily accessible web page, suitable for linking, forwarding, twittering, whatevering! You owe it to yourself to check Mashable out, beginning with this great story of a departing employee's pictorial revenge on her over-stepping boss. A white board hath no fury like a woman scorned!
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News Flash: "LIKE" IIF on FACEBOOK!
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Will you like us? Really, really like us?
To paraphrase Cheap Trick: "We want you to like us." Digitally drop on by our branch office and check out the scene. Any and all suggestions for this new arena are welcome - see you there!
Please note - we will not ask you to help build our horse barn in Farmville, nor challenge you to a game of Bejewled. In return, we only ask you refrain from posting those embarrasing pictures from high school. Seriously, people, some of you need to grow up.
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Product Deal of the Month: Time to Tee it up!
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Sure, it's baseball season. But warmer weather and longer days mean time for the greatest game of all.
And as every true weekend hacker knows, it is much easier to look good than to be good, if you know what I'm saying, dahling. So "drive for show" over to the IIF store and "putt for dough" into one of our classic IIF golf shirts. Let your favorite foursome (and all those folks you are holding up behind you while searching for that last errant shot) see you looking good while having fun - Insurance is fun, that is!
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Picture of the Month: If Insurance Underwriters Ran Golf Courses ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some wild and crazy risk takers get their adrenalin pumping by sky driving, hang gliding or skiing sheer mountainsides. Fred the actuary simply took in the sign, inhaled a deep breath, grinned at his partners and reached for his five wood.
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