| Quotes of the Month
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"A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken."
- James Dent
"Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass on a summer day listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is hardly a waste of time."
- John Lubbock
"Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it."
- Russel Baker
"I'm gonna raise a fuss, I'm gonna raise a holler
About a workin' all summer just to try to earn a dollar.
Every time I call my baby, and try to get a date
My boss says, "No dice son, you gotta work late."
Sometimes I wonder what I'm a gonna do
But there ain't no cure for the summertime blues."
- Eddie Cochran, The Who, Blue Cheer, et al.
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Joke Time
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My two-year-old cousin scared us one summer by disappearing during our lakeside vacation. More than a dozen relatives searched the forest and shoreline, and everyone was relieved when we found Matthew playing calmly in the woods.
"Listen to me, Matthew," his mother said sharply. "From now on when you want to go someplace, you tell Mommy first, okay?"
Matthew thought about that for a moment and said, "Okay. Disney World."
-- Leah Hallenbeck
***
Two weasels are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, 'I slept with your mother!' "The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. "The first again yells, 'I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!' The other says: 'Go home dad, you're drunk.
***
One summer evening, during a violent thunderstorm, a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."
***
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services.
He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
Silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the hunter says, "Ok, now what?"
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Dingbats and Dillweeds: Because Everyone Loves an Idiot!
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Anyone else smell a class action for all those who thought paying for college involved bloodbanks?
In a case that takes parent-child squabbles to a new level, a Connecticut woman has won a lawsuit against her father after he refused to pay for her senior year of college. Following her parents' 2004 divorce, Dana Soderberg - then an art major at Southern Connecticut State University - procured a written agreement from her father that he would finance her education until she was 25. Her father counter-sued, saying his daughter broke the contract by failing to apply for student loans and providing him with receipts. A judge sided with the daughter, awarding her $47,000.
In other words, we still have the dreams of youth, but a body too old to hitchhike.
Newly elected Seattle Mayor Mike McGinn decided to set up a web site asking residents for suggestions on improving the city. Top three suggestions? Better mass transit, legalized marijuana and nude beaches.
New Google Maps print options: "Text only; with maps; with disclaimer (please add paper to your printer)."
A California woman is suing after being hit by a car while walking on a route suggested by Google Maps. She claims Google had a duty to warn her that the street recommended had no sidewalks. Though she chose to walk down the street anyway, she claims Google implied that she could "rely on the accuracy of the walking directions given."
Mystical, magical, and with no idea how it works; sounds like credit scores.
Australian transportation officials are planning to expand a pilot program where druids utilize magnets to prevent road accidents. A druid priest was called in after a dozen fatal accidents occurred at a particular stretch of highway. After he installed a monolith made of plastic and a large magnet, there hasn't been a fatal accident at the site in two years. The priest says the monolith may work by restoring normal "terrestrial radiation" which he claims was disrupted by "negative" radiation from cell phone towers. "If you ask me to give you a scientific explanation," he says, "I can't."
Source: The Week
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Is your brand cramped? Try Brand Camp!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
Your agency's brand is created by forces within and outside your agency. The tone of voice in which you answer the phone, how quickly and courteously your staff handles claims, what your Web site and ads look like -- these brand touch points, along with forces in the marketplace, are shaping your brand. Your brand is what prospects and consumers use to make decisions about whether to work with you in the future (and whether to complain about or praise you).
In insurance branding, you must change or be changed. Don't try it alone. Learn, interact and team up with peers and experts this October at Aartrijk Brand Camp 2010 in Austin, Texas, at the Driskill Hotel.
For more information, including a brochure and how to register, click that link! |
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Diamond in the Coal: IIF Web Site of the Month
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You're thinking about a blog, bunky? Wanting to get into that big digittal world out there and blast a few big bodacious bloggings into that blogosphere? But you don't know the where, why, how or even if?
Is that your problem, bunky?
Well, stand up, take a look at the sun and tell the whole wide world wide web you've taken U2 one better and finally found what you've been looking for!!
Rick Morgan not only knows where its at, he probably put it there! Check out the man, his blogs, and dig deep into his links, and you will know what it is to truly go where few insurance folks have gone before - to the blogosphere and beyond!
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News Flash: "LIKE" IIF on FACEBOOK!
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Will you like us? Really, really like us?
To paraphrase Cheap Trick: "We want you to like us." Digitally drop on by our branch office and check out the scene. Any and all suggestions for this new arena are welcome - see you there!
Please note - we will not ask you to help build our horse barn in Farmville, nor challenge you to a game of Bejewled. In return, we only ask you refrain from posting those embarrasing pictures from high school. Seriously, people, some of you need to grow up.
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Hear ye, Hear ye - Listening to us, you get the IIF Funcast!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Product Deal of the Month: Time to Tee it up!
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Sure, it's baseball season. But warmer weather and longer days mean time for the greatest game of all.
And as every true weekend hacker knows, it is much easier to look good than to be good, if you know what I'm saying, dahling. So "drive for show" over to the IIF store and "putt for dough" into one of our classic IIF golf shirts. Let your favorite foursome (and all those folks you are holding up behind you while searching for that last errant shot) see you looking good while having fun - Insurance is fun, that is!
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Picture of the Month: Sports Underwriter Nightmare #36 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ok, I admit not everyone likes the World Cup, but isn't this a bit cold?
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