| Quotes of the Month
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There are three things in my life which I really love: God, my family, and baseball. The only problem - once baseball season starts, I change the order around a bit.
-Al Gallagher
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.
-Dave Barry
I don't want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it.
-Rogers Hornsby
|
|
Joke Time
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says, "You can't bring that dog in here."
"You don't understand," says the man. "This is no regular dog, he can talk."
"Listen, pal," says the bartender. "If that dog can talk, I'll give you a hundred bucks."
The man puts the dog on a stool, and asks him, "What's on top of a house?"
"Roof!"
"Right. And what's on the outside of a tree?"
"Bark!"
"And who's the greatest baseball player of all time?"
"Ruth!"
"I guess you've heard enough," says the man. "I'll take the hundred in twenties."
The bartender is furious. "Listen, pal," he says, "get out of here before I belt you."
As soon as they're on the street, the dog turns to the man and says, "Do you think I should have said 'DiMaggio'?"
|
Dingbats and Dillweeds: Because Everyone Loves an Idiot!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Well, I obviously can't be seen in court looking like THIS."
An 82-year-old woman who accidentally crashed her car through the front window of a southwest Michigan salon stuck around afterward for an appointment to get her hair done.
Authorities said Marion Zock was parking her Ford Fusion on Thursday outside Classic Hair Design in Kent County's Plainfield Township, near Grand Rapids, when she stepped on the accelerator instead of the brake.
Gotta remember that excuse for my next CE class.
The mayor of Worthing, England, fell asleep only minutes into a musical performance by a class of 11 year olds, prompting the kids to burst into tears. His honor claimed a cold medication made him drowsy.
Evidently only the shipping is free, not the speech.
A man is being sued over a "bad seller" review he left on eBay, after the alarm clock he purchased arrived in pieces. The seller is suing for defamation, claiming he offered the clock "as is."
If the loud music was either the Doors or "I'm a Lumberjack", the irony would be complete.
Police in South Carolina say an argument between two motel guests ended when one of the men was hit in the head with a snake. Rock Hill police say the victim told officers that he argued Tuesday night with 29-year-old Tony Smith over loud music coming from Smith's room. The dispute appeared to be over, but the man told police Smith walked up to him several hours later with a 4-foot python and hit him in the face with the snake's head.
Ah, but does the Montana gun law ban pythons?
John White, now running for sheriff in Roundup, Mont., will be unable to carry a gun if he wins because of a long-ago bank robbery conviction.
|
|
Diamond in the Coal: IIF Web Site of the Month
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Video? Humor? Quotes? Live chat via webcam? This is an insurance agency web site?
Indeed it is! For a glimpse into what an agent does by combing all of the above with a bit of social networking and all around moxie, check out Atlantainsurancelive.com.
|
News Flash: "FAN" IIF on FACEBOOK!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
Yes, friends, IIF has gone "social media!" We now have our own Facebook page - Woot! Woot!
Digitally drop on by our new branch office and check out the scene. Any and all suggestions for this new arena are welcome - see you there!
Please note - we will not ask you to help build our chicken house in Farmville, nor challenge you to a game of Farkle. However, we do reserve the right to ask you to join our mafia, should the need arise to solicit your help in Bangkok.
|
Hear ye, Hear ye - Listening to us, you get the IIF Funcast!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|
Product Deal of the Month: Time to Tee it up!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sure, it's baseball season. But warmer weather and longer days mean time for the greatest game of all.
And as every true weekend hacker knows, it is much easier to look good than to be good, if you know what I'm saying, dahling. So "drive for show" over to the IIF store and "putt for dough" into one of our classic IIF golf shirts. Let your favorite foursome (and all those folks you are holding up behind you while searching for that last errant shot) see you looking good while having fun - Insurance is fun, that is!
|
Picture of the Month: Ever Have One of Those Days?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You need to get out of the office for a day, " she says. "Go someplace where you aren't up to your a** in alligators," she says.
|
|
