| Quotes of the Month
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"What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?"
-Erma Bombeck
"I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land."
-Jon Stewart
"Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often."
-Johnny Carson
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Joke Time
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I was hitting the ski slopes when a bizarre accident occurred.
While fumbling my way off a chair lift, another chair hit me from behind and knocked me out cold. I woke up with a headache, in a hospital bed and immediately called my insurance company.
After explaining what happened the insurance rep said, "We're covering nothing on this claim. You hit yourself in the head with a chair on a ski lift. You're an idiot. And that's a pre-existing condition."
Contributed by:Dan Seidman, http://www.salesautopsy.com
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Dingbats and Dillweeds: Because Everyone Loves an Idiot!
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This Just In! Driving real slow to avoid suspicion creates suspicion!
A Dairy King in East Peoria caught fire and the owner made an insurance claim for more than $5,000. But fire fighters found a plastic gas can on fire, and next to it was a lit candle broken into a V shape. The owner was the only one who knew the alarm system's code. He told police he was the last person to leave the shop, and had set the alarm and locked the door. But the alarm went off around 10:15 p.m. the night of the fire, and someone inside quickly shut it off, records allegedly show. Motion detectors also showed someone moving in the store at the time. Tsopelas also said he'd been driving for 20 minutes after leaving the restaurant, and was by Fon du Lac Plaza when his son called him to say the alarm had gone off. But the drive from the Dairy King to the plaza takes only three minutes, prosecutors say.
If this holds up in court, we are going to sue GM! We had the same problem in high school with a Chevelle SS!
An Indian man is suing the makers of Axe body spray, claiming that in seven years of using the product he has yet to find a girlfriend. Vaibhav Bedi, 26, says that Axe's racy marketing campaign led him to believe the product had love-potion properties and is seeking around $40,000 in damages. "The company cheated me," said Bedi. "It says women will be attracted to you if you use Axe. I used it for seven years but no girl came to me."
After reviewing a number of the AXE commercials in question, IIF has no doubt Axe causes mothers to regularly jump the bones of their teenage daughter's boyfriends, numerous stunning women to feel compelled to fold winning strip poker hands just to remove their clothing and that any ugly would-be stud becomes Brad Pitt merely by the application of Axe body spray. This guy must be a real loser!
Our real concern is how will the makers defend themselves after their CGL denies coverage? Yes, coverage fans, there is actually a pollution exclusion under Coverage B.
No, you really don't want to go there - and evidently, neither did she.
A Florida man has failed to win compensation for a "defective" pair of underwear. Albert Freed, 62, claims that over a two-week vacation in Hawaii, the fly flap of his briefs rubbed his genitals like "sandpaper belts." Asked by a judge why he didn't notice sooner, the 285-pound Freed said he cannot see his own genitals, and he didn't ask his wife to look because it might "ruin her vacation."
Sources: Weekly Fraud News & Review; The Week
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Diamond in the Coal: IIF Web Site of the Month
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Oh, you are so going to thank us for this one!
Are you a true music fan? Do you salivate at the prospect of hearing some of the greatest performances of all time, captured live? Does the King Biscuit Flower Hour ring a bell?
If your answer to any or all of these is "yes!", have we got the site for you! Check out Wolfgangsvault.com now if not sooner! Besides the ability to stream nearly every selection, downloads are available, along with a plethora of concert posters, memorabilia, tour souveniers, etc. It's a music lover's dream site come true! |
News Flash: "FAN" IIF on FACEBOOK!
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Yes, friends, IIF has gone "social media!" We now have our own Facebook page - Woot! Woot!
Digitally drop on by our new branch office and check out the scene. Any and all suggestions for this new arena are welcome - see you there!
Please note - we will not iHeart you, nor beg you do visit our new restaurant in Cafe World. However, we do reserve the right to ask you to join our mafia, should the need arise to solicit your help in Moscow.
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Hear ye, Hear ye - Listening to us, you get the IIF Funcast!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Product Deal/Mystery of the Month: Here Come the Holidays!
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It's that time of the year, Ebeneezer!
Don't dot another "i", Bob Cratchit, until you peruse the plethora of potential present possibilities at the IIF Store! Where else can you get that perfect insurance gift with that perfect insurance message such as "Bind me, Baby!" or "Kiss me, I'm All Risk!" or a personal favorite "Forget my exclusions, let's talk about your limitations!"
Too many great gift options to decide? Not willing to guess wrong on that clothing size? Practice true risk management with an IIF gift certificate!
Perhaps that insurance person on your list enjoys reading? Then he or she will love a copy of the appropriately titled book from Chris Amrhein: "Yes, Virginia, There is Insurance!"
But you better hurry! You and we both know what will happen if that perfect IIF gift isn't under the tree on time. Click that link now!
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Picture of the Month: Reason #426 for WC Adjusters Seeking Psychological Counseling
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The last known picutre of Fred, just seconds before his drill bit into that live circuit and set off a flash that seared retinas for blocks around.
Source: CrazyPhotos.com | |
