| Quotes of the Month
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"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years."
-Mark Twain
"Indecision may or may not be my problem."
- Jimmy Buffett
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Joke Time
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Ever wonder why the IRS calls it, "Form 1040?" Because for every $50 you earn, you get 10 and they get 40.
Source: www.jokes.com
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Dingbats and Dillweeds: Because Everyone Loves an Idiot!
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License, registration and proof of life insurance, please
Traffic officers in Gainesville, FL wrote seven tickets for a BMW that had been illegally parked for two weeks. A neighbor finally called the police, who found a dead body in the back seat.
And here we thought the phrase "insuring a piece of s-t" meant my old corvair.
Daniel Bennett, a British doctoral student, was heart-broken when janitors at Leeds University threw away a 77-pound bag of lizard dung he'd collected over seven years. "To some people it might have been just a bag of lizard s-t, but its loss altered the course of my life forever," he said.
Source: The Week
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Lord Mr. Ford, What Have You Done?" Contest Winner!
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Last month we suggested a few new ideas Ford might consider adding to their offerings of specialty car keys: Senior Citizen Key; Parent of Young Children Key; Directionally Impaired Male Driver Key; and the Multitasking Addict Key. Then we cast down the following challenge: "So what are your ideas for Ford specialty keys? We'd love to see! Wing them our way, and the best will appear in a future issue. The best of the best wins!"
Well, friends, answer you did. And our winner submitted not just one oustanding entry, but THREE! Herewith her gems, submitted by Ace IIFer Cynthia Davidson of Kaplan Schweser/Kaplan Financial Education:
Failure to Use Directional Signals Key. When the device senses the
driver has made three consecutive right or left turns without using a
turn signal, the car becomes disabled and cannot be restarted until the
driver completes a 15-minute remedial training video on proper
signaling.
Tailgating Prevention Key. This device senses when the vehicle is
being driven too closely behind another car, and automatically
decelerates until the recommended safe following distance is reached.
(This is actually not a bad idea - can I install the first one on my
husband's car?)
And our personal favorite and top winning entry:
Road Rage Control Key. When the horn has been beeped more than twice
in a one minute period, the steering wheel pops open and delivers a mug
of mint tea, a piece of chocolate, and the appropriate anti-anxiety
drug.
Congratulations Cindy! Your personal IIF all slogan t-shirt is even now winging your way!
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News Flash: Twitter This, Facebook!
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Remember your computer? Remember when you used it to shop on-line, do your taxes and print pictures? What was once a tool to make life easier is now becoming life itself for millions worldwide living vicariously through profiles created on social networking sites like Facebook, MySpace, and Twitter.
According to Fortune Magazine, social networking/second home Facebook leads the way, hosting as many as 175 million members worldwide. Social networking sites like these have officially reached almost every corner of the earth. Is it too late to stop the madness? Apparently so.
A few of IIF's favorite examples:
Even the Dali Lama wants in. The perennial pacifist prefers Twitter, a social networking site that allows him and his staff to send a constant stream of 140-character messages to followers. Can other once nearly inaccessible mountaintop sages of wisdom be far behind? ("Ah, grasshopper. One should never obsess on the tweety bird without, but rather the true twit within.")
Alas, but not all netizens of the social web are as peaceful. Recently in Florida, a 19-year old man was arrested for allegedly stealing a laptop from a fellow Starbucks customer in order to check his account on Facebook. (Dudes, gotta hurry. I just ripped off this laptop from this really angry guy so I can let y'all know I'm now leaving Starbuck's to head for - OWWWWW!!! - the hospital."
And our current winner of the "Brain Dead Tweet of the Month" is none other the infamous netizen now known to one and all as Cisco Fatty, who upon leaving an employment interview tweeted the following to his legions of followers: "Cisco just offered me a job! Now I have to weigh the utility of a fatty paycheck against the daily commute to San Jose and hating the work." Mere moments later a Cisco supervisor who happens to follow Twitter posts involving his company's name sent the entire Twitter universe the following: "Who is the hiring manager. I'm sure they would love to know that you will hate the work. We here at Cisco are versed in the web." Can you say "Kiss that job (and fatty paycheck) goodbye?" To paraphrase the immortal words of "Space Balls", he's beyond stupid; he's gone all the way to plaid!"
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"Finding a Diamond Among the Coal!" Department
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Surely you've heard that many folks now refer to the World Wide Web as the "World Wide Waste." The amount of digital flotsam and jetsam arriving daily merely from ex-Nigerian officials with a need to move money out of the country is enough to clog up the mightiest mailbox filter!
We mean, how much fun is dealing with that? So here at IIF, where we are always about more fun, we decided-as a public service-to help. Each issue, we will find you a diamond from among the coal, a swan from among the geese, a pearl from among the swine-well, you get the idea. So feel free to reroute all your current e-mail bloat into that "automatically delete" file, while trusting us here at IIF headquarters to pass on anything truly worthy of our valued attention. And hey, it'll be fun!
This issue:
When Filo in the Weird Al classic cult flick UHF (and who hasn't hoped to be a contestant on Wheel of Fish) uttered the words: "Today we're going to learn to make plutonium from ordinary household items," did you think he was kidding? Admit it - every one of you suppresses that little McGyver fan that's been trapped inside too long.
Curious to see what other creative folks do when they get really, really bored? (IIF you say? Please don't flatter us...) One visit to this creative Xanadu and you're on your way to making Richard Dean Anderson proud. Learn to build a fully functional catapult! Make a bra that sings! (Think of the karaoke possibilities!) Click that link!
This way to the Singing Bra! |
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Time to Make a Flipping Decision!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Clearly he was worried, and had been for some time.
He had analyzed his options for some days now; checking his estimated revenues, reviewing possible goals and strategies, considering the risks of his various choices. He knew he had to make a decision, but he had been determined to make it only when he had all the facts and figures in hand to make the right one.
But now he had those facts and figures, or at least as many as he was going to get. He had run the "what-ifs" through his head and filled out the two sides of "decision Ts" on paper until he was brain dead. And still he could see no clear winner. It had, as his father would have said, come to the time when he had to "fish or cut bait" and he felt he was no closer to the answer than when he'' begun. Yet there was nothing left unconsidered, no stone left unturned, no reason to assume any more delay would make things any clearer. He had to decide, and now. But how?
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Brand Tip: If a Dentist Can Have Fun, So Can You!
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Call us nuts here at Insurance Is Fun, but in our vision of how things could be, not only would you think insurance is fun, but your customers would as well! Crazy you say? "People think insurance is just a distant, faceless, impersonal industry concerned only with numbers and profits and not with people." Sound familiar?
Sure, that's true for the industry, maybe - but you're the face on the industry. Just like people may hate Congress but like their congressman, it's okay if they hate insurance-as long as they like you, their local independent insurance agent, their trusted advisor. See how a dentist-induced drool-fest convinced this IIFer that improving your image is as easy as one, two, five!
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Book Of the Month - Word of Mouth Marketing by Andy Sernovitz
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Many marketing tomes focus on getting people talking. Sernovitz argues that it is more important to know how to identify what they're saying and where. He explains that there's a continuous conversation going on among customers both inside and outside cyberspace and teaches us business-types how to be a part of it. More importantly, he teaches us how to find it and guarantee that we're not only being discussed but that the message we're trying so hard to send is the one being received by end-users. His text is jammed with suggestions that will help your agency dominate any discussion started by insurance shoppers. Read it today!
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Product Deal of the Month: Let Your IIF Flag Fly!
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It's rough out there.
So don't sign another bailout check or prepare another resume until you peruse the plethora of potential spirit-lifting possibilities at the IIF Store! Where else can you get that perfect insurance day brightener with that perfect insurance message such as "Bind me, Baby!" or "Kiss me, I'm All Risk!" or a personal favorite "Forget my exclusions, let's talk about your limitations!"
Too many gloom-dissipating options to decide? Not willing to guess wrong on that clothing size? Practice true risk management with an IIF gift certificate!
Perhaps that insurance person on your list enjoys combining flawlessly correct coverage interpretations with a bit of humor and musicality? Then he or she will love a copy of the latest collection of coverage articles from Chris Amrhein: "Yes, Virginia, There is Insurance!"
But you better hurry! Your favorite insurance person could be going out on that ledge even now - click that link!
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Picture of the Month: Oh, NOW I See the Problem!
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We know, we know: the obvious caption is "I'm pretty sure it's flooded." But what really hooked us about this picture is the eternal optimism. You can almost here him telling the driver, "Hang on, when I put my foot on the battery you try it again."
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