| Quotes of the Month
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"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas... perhaps... means a little bit more."
- The Grinch
"I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year."
- Ebeneezer Scrooge
"Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven."
- W. C. Fields
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Joke Time
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It is Christmas eve. A burglar breaks into the home of a prominent
local lawyer. He takes the lawyer's Christmas gifts from under the
tree leaving the packages for the wife and children alone. As he
is leaving the house, he is apprehended by a policeman.
He confesses to what he has done but tells the policeman that he
can't be arrested.
The policeman asks why, and he responds, "Because the law states
that I'm entitled to the presents of an attorney."
This is the time of year when we think back to the very first Christmas, when the Three Wise Men; Gaspar, Balthazar and Herb, went to see the baby Jesus and, according to the Book of Matthew, "presented unto Him gifts; gold, frankincense, and myrrh." These are simple words, but if we analyze them carefully, we discover an important, yet often overlooked, theological fact there is no mention of wrapping paper. If there had been wrapping paper, Matthew would have said so "And lo, the gifts were inside 600 square cubits of paper. And the paper was festooned with pictures of Frosty the Snowman. And Joseph was going to throweth it away, but Mary saideth unto him, she saideth, 'Holdeth it! That is nice paper! Saveth it for next year!' And Joseph did rolleth his eyeballs. And the baby Jesus was more interested in the paper than the frankincense." But these words do not appear in the Bible, which means that the very first Christmas gifts were NOT wrapped. This is because the people giving those gifts had two important characteristics 1. They were wise. 2. They were men. -- Dave Barry (for one of many web locations to read the entire article, click HERE! |
Dingbats and Dillweeds: Because Everyone Loves an Idiot!
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You're a mean one, Officer Grinch!
Santa's naughty list just got a bit longer after an overzealous parking agent slapped him with a summons.
Kriss Kringle - aka Chip Cafiero - vows to fight the city for handing him a $115 double-parking ticket while he was delivering toys to kids in Brooklyn.
. "I saw this [traffic agent] jump out of her car and I said to one of my elves, 'She's going to give me a ticket,'" said Cafiero, who annually dons a long, white beard and red suit to bring Christmas cheer and gifts. "The kids started crying: 'That's Santa's car! That's Santa's car!' But this grinch just went ahead and fined me anyways.
St. Nick said the traffic agent will discover a losing ticket under her tree on Christmas morning. "I told her she was on my naughty list - but I had a kid on my lap or else Santa would have really let her have it," he said.
Source: NY Daily News
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"Finding a Diamond Among the Coal!" Department
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Surely you've heard that many folks now refer to the World Wide Web as the "World Wide Waste." The amount of digital flotsam and jetsam arriving daily merely from ex-Nigerian officials with a need to move money out of the country is enough to clog up the mightiest mailbox filter!
We mean, how much fun is dealing with that? So here at IIF, where we are always about more fun, we decided-as a public service-to help. Each issue, we will find you a diamond from among the coal, a swan from among the geese, a pearl from among the swine-well, you get the idea. So feel free to reroute all your current e-mail bloat into that "automatically delete" file, while trusting us here at IIF headquarters to pass on anything truly worthy of our valued attention. And hey, it'll be fun!
This issue:
We've all seen them. Our irises are still blinded, our heads still spinning - from a year ago!
Yes, it's those folks who spare no expense - and clearly have direct connections to local nuclear facilities - who turn a simple seasonal light display into a landing beacon for major airports. Lampooned by movies, ridiculed as monuments to overachievers, and derided as fire hazards, we still can't resist piling into our cars, often with a handy map supplied by the local papers, to tour these temples to Tesla.
Well, friends, save your gas deep six the maps - here is site with dozens of, if not the "best" then surely the "brightest", light displays of the last six years. Pop the corn, pour the eggnog, don your shades and click that link!
Ugly Christmas Lights
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Video Of the Month - A dream car for all women or a nightmare for insurance companies everywhere?
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Don't blink or this one will fly right by you - and I'm still not sure if it will require an auto policy or an inland marine floater. Mobile equipment perhaps?
(Note: This video file will pop up in your default media browser)
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An Insurance Carol: A True Christmas Miracle~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 "Twas the day after Christmas...
Bob Cratchit, independent agent, arrives a bit late at the Tiny Tim Agency, having made merry the day before with his family and friends. To his surprise, he notices through the window the familiar form of Ebeneezer Scrooge, vice president of market performance for Dickens Insurance Group, a major international carrier. The carrier's slogan, "When at risk, give 'em the Dickens!' was reported to have made Dickens one of the most recognized brand names in the world.
While Bob has enjoyed a long association with the carrier, he thinks it has declined in the personal service he once found admirable. For the last few years, Dickens has operated more like a distant conglomerate than the customer-focused mutual protection society from which it grew. Commissions slowly eroded, underwriting became automated, and cash flow became king. Seeing Scrooge already waiting for him, Bob only can assume the news will get worse: cutting his commissions further, announcing creative reserving to eliminate his contingency again, and restricting his property coverage availability to pig iron under water within five blocks of the agency."
Boy, was HE in for a shock!! To learn why this Christmas became like no other for Bob and Scrooge, click that link!
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Product Deal of the Month: Here Come the Holidays!
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It's that time of the year, Ebeneezer! 
Don't dot another "i", Bob Cratchit, until you peruse the plethora of potential present possibilities at the IIF Store! Where else can you get that perfect insurance gift with that perfect insurance message such as "Bind me, Baby!" or "Kiss me, I'm All Risk!" or a personal favorite "Forget my exclusions, let's talk about your limitations!"
Too many great gift options to decide? Not willing to guess wrong on that clothing size? Practice true risk management with an IIF gift certificate!
Perhaps that insurance person on your list enjoys reading? Then he or she will love a copy of the lappropriately titled book from Chris Amrhein: "Yes, Virginia, There is Insurance!"
But you better hurry! You and we both know what will happen if that perfect IIF gift isn't under the tree on time. Click that link now!
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Picture of the Month: A Kid's Dream but an Underwriter's Nightmare!
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Aircraft? Mobile Equipment? Non-motorized land conveyance? Public or livery? Or just a recreational vehicle designed for off-road use? Inquiring minds may wish to pursue further research at the source:
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