| Quotes of the Month
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"When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile."
- George Burns
"I love being married. It's so great to find that one person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."
- Rita Rudner |
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Joke Time
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A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.
"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"
The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."
The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"
The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.
"or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"
The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."
On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"
Source: www.greatfunnyjokes.com
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Dingbats and Dillweeds: Because Everyone Loves an Idiot!
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In insurance, you lowball before the audit:
"A group of college students hyped their party business on MySpace by saying they'd hosted more than 100 events. When the state of Oklahoma then hit them with a $320,000 tax bill, the students insisted they'd hosted only 20."
Source: The Week Magazine
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"Finding a Diamond Among the Coal!" Department
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Surely you've heard that many folks now refer to the World Wide Web as the "World Wide Waste." The amount of digital flotsam and jetsam arriving daily merely from ex-Nigerian officials with a need to move money out of the country is enough to clog up the mightiest mailbox filter!
We mean, how much fun is dealing with that? So here at IIF, where we are always about more fun, we decided-as a public service-to help. Each issue, we will find you a diamond from among the coal, a swan from among the geese, a pearl from among the swine-well, you get the idea. So feel free to reroute all your current e-mail bloat into that "automatically delete" file, while trusting us here at IIF headquarters to pass on anything truly worthy of our valued attention. And hey, it'll be fun!
This issue:
Does the "sweet" aroma of your lunch warming in the microwave send your co-workers scurrying for the nearest portal of fresh air? Are you tired of being filled with doubt over your passion for Indian food, ketchup sandwiches, French fries mixed with vanilla ice cream, or other "yummies" most people find utterly repulsive?
Finally, freak eaters (and normal ones, too) of the world have a place to meet, gather and exchange ideas about how to best prepare and enjoy the foods we love. At Recipe.com, you can get great recipe ideas and blog with others who share your passion for Bavarian liverwurst, tongue-melting hot sauce and all the other things that make life worth living. Check it out!
www.recipe.com
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News Flash: We were OK with the pictures, but oh, that video!!
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You may not know it, but the quiet mouse in the cubicle by the break room gets plastered and dances nude at parties. And the new assistant you just hired? You don't even want to know what he's into.
What's amazing is that you may not know these folks' "habits" but everyone else does. They are posted for the world to see on social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace, now used by over 40 million Americans. People use these sites as a portal to the universe; places to share stories, find friends, and advertise an identity.
Such sites have also become a popular destination for perspective employers; looking to learn more about those interested in joining the company store. And many don't like what they're seeing, according to Careerbuilder.com. 22% of hiring managers say they now screen potential employees' profiles on Facebook, MySpace, and other social networking sites. This is up from 11% in 2006. Of those employers, 34% say they have found content that made them drop the candidate from any shortlist.
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Brand Tip: Top Ten Signs Your Agency Advertising is Brain Dead
By Peter van Aartrijk Jr., CIC
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Here at IIF, we believe in the importance of a company's ability to inform prospects and clients of exactly what they stand for (hence the obvious creativity possessed by the naming committee of this humble establishment). IIF Chief Fun Officer Peter Van Aartrijk, Jr. would like to suggest 10 ways to easily reduce the inherent epidemic suffered by Independent Agencies everywhere: letting consumers know what the heck it is we stand for.
Click Here for the Top Ten!
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Management Tip: Are You Making Music or Just Noise?
By Chris Amrhein, AAI
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I just recently returned from the National Quartet Convention in Louisville, Kentucky. Between the contests for new talent and the hours of concerts by the best in the gospel music world, a great time was had by all. And what, you may ask, has that to do with building a great - and fun - insurance agency?
Maybe everything. Let's consider some of the attributes of great quartet singing and apply them to your agency.
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Book of the Month: No BS Ruthless Management of People & Profits by Dan Kennedy
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With the amount of exposure this book received in the nation's most influential trade pubs, how could we resist?
Kennedy uses some research but mostly brawn to solidify his stance on running a business. The usual suspects are here: reliance on trusted staffers, raising capital, etc. But it's the remedies (which greatly outnumber the problems, a refreshing twist from tomes of a similar type) that grab. While slated as a management book, Kennedy talks to all employment levels. A fast, loud, and fun read for those looking for a swift kick in the you-know-what. Read it!
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Product Deal of the Month: The Hour is Upon Us!
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In just a few short weeks you will gain an entire extra hour per day when you "fall back " from Daylight Savings Time. And what will you do with this glorious bonus of invaluable freedom? Fritter it away like your paycheck - gone before it arrives? Or will this be the year you invest this precious asset in personal growth that will pay dividends far into the future?
IIF folks know of no one who gets more quality work done in less time than Bill Wilson, head guru of the IIABA Virtual University! And we've persuaded the maestro to share his secrets! IIF proudly offers Successful Personal Management! Not just another generic time management tome, this text is written by Bill specifically for insurance folks. Whether your choke-point is your calendar, to-do lists or simply setting priorities - grab your copy of Successful Personal Management from the IIF Store today!
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Picture of the Month: Permanently attached equipment designed for the reproduction of sound?
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After a veritable rain of possible captions, we stripped the list to its bare essentials. Let it all hang out!
When the dealer offerred me a "fresh, all natural alternative" to the typical CD player, I naturally assumed something electronic - and clothed.
Once you get past the obvious drawbacks, the music is actually pretty good!
When I ordered a "bootleg" copy of Piano Man off the internet, I naturally assumed it meant - oh, never mind.
Source: http://www.stupid-pictures.com
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