| Quotes of the Month
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"I think it's funny that only one company makes the game Monopoly."
- Steven Wright
"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it."
- W.C. Fields
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| Joke Time
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An attorney drives by a sign that says "Free Kittens." Next to the sign is a little girl with a basket of kittens. He asks the girl, "How old are those kittens?" She answers, "very young; their eyes are not even opened yet."
"What kind of kittens are they?" he asks. The little girl answers, "They are ATTORNEYS."
Sensing a tremendous PR opportunity, the attorney goes to his office and tells his partners of the little girl and the free kittens. They call the local news and set up a shoot the next day.
The next day, several film crews and a few Mercedes pull up to the little girl with the free kittens. With cameras rolling, the senior partner approaches the little girl. "I hear you have some little attorneys in that basket; may I see one?" he asks. "They are not attorneys anymore," she responds. "They are now INSURANCE AGENTS."
"But just yesterday they were attorneys. What happened?" he asks. The little girl responded, "Today their eyes are opened."
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IIF Tom Jones Contest - We Have a Winner!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WOW! Insurance folks may have been accused of a lot of things, but now we know the unvarnished truth: Tom Jones Rules!
Yes, friends, last month's IIF newsletter contest regarding the inestimable Mr. Jones broke all records for reader response! We had no idea there were so many Tom Jones musicologists in our industry (Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb" seems much more appropriate, particularly after a rough day at the office). Or perhaps it's not the music but that ripped, hirsute bod revealed in our accompanying photo that fired up your, er, e-mails.
Regardless, a contest is a contest, and we have a winner! Stuart Birns, a Commercial Lines Supervisor at the Simon Paston & Sons Agency in Lynbrook, N.Y., is the proud new owner of an official IIF All-Slogan T-shirt, perfect for enhancing his own no-doubt ripped and hirsute bod. Stuart was the first entry to correctly discover all 12 TJ song titles hidden in our story. No one else found more than 11. For those interested, here is that paragraph, with the song titles highlighted (thanks to www.allbutforgottenoldies.net).
"For those of you who read this story expecting a bunch of cheesy Tom Jones jokes, shame on you! You know, it's not unusual for a man to glorify senseless reporting, but don't say that to the reporter responsible for breaking this story: she's a lady! And whatever you do, don't tell Delilah that I can't stop loving you; otherwise, I'll never fall in love again. And we all know that without love, there is nothing. So readers, help yourself before you end up like my buddy who was so heartbroken after that daughter of darkness skipped town that he left the green, green grass of home on the Thunderball to Detroit City where his new pickup line - "What's new pussycat?" - was usually answered with a swift slap to the face."
And just for your TJ fans, a special IIF bonus - just one more incredible photo of TJ at the height of his powers. Congrats to all who entered, and stay tuned for our next IIF contest!
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Are You Leading Your Folks to the Gold - or the Grave?
By Chris Amrhein, AAI
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Have you ever seen a New Orleans funeral parade?
As it slowly wends its way to the cemetery, the band plays a mournful dirge, dragging out the notes and tune as if they were about to collapse under the burden of grief. But a parade returning from the cemetery is just the opposite - the band plays a swinging Dixieland tune (often the famous "When the Saints Go Marchin' In"), and the accompanying crowd cheers and dances along as they high-step their way back to a local bar in a joyous, energetic celebration of how life goes on for all but the deceased.
So is your organization on its way to or from the grave? And what can a New Orleans funeral teach us about discovering the true answer?
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"Finding a Diamond Among the Coal!" Department
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Surely you've heard that many folks now refer to the World Wide Web as the "World Wide Waste." The amount of digital flotsam and jetsam arriving daily merely from ex-Nigerian officials with a need to move money out of the country is enough to clog up the mightiest mailbox filter!
We mean, how much fun is dealing with that? So here at IIF, where we are always about more fun, we decided-as a public service-to help. Each issue, we will find you a diamond from among the coal, a swan from among the geese, a pearl from among the swine-well, you get the idea. So feel free to reroute all your current e-mail bloat into that "automatically delete" file, while trusting us here at IIF headquarters to pass on anything truly worthy of our valued attention. And hey, it'll be fun!
This issue:
What happens when you put wordsmiths, news junkies, trivia geeks, game lovers, quote collectors, history buffs, bloggers and business people looking to make a buck in one place? Only the coolest site of the day! No, that's not our opinion. That's its name - check it out!
Find the Diamonds!
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Dingbats and Dillweeds: Because Everyone Loves an Idiot!
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Adjuster Quiz - "Government Action" or "Falling Objects?"
An Air National Guard pilot who was supposed to drop a dummy bomb in a practice field in Kansas accidentally dropped it onto an apartment complex in Tulsa, damaging the building and knocking out power.
Guess that's why they call it a Special Personal Property Floater
Lefkos Hajji of London hid a $12,000 engagement ring in a helium balloon to present to his girlfriend but then accidentally let go of it. "Now she is refusing to speak to me," he said.
Source: The Week Magazine |
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News Flash: Man with Golden Sniffer Drops Big Bills on Bill
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And you thought your taste buds were in your mouth! The Week magazine reports that Ilja "Don't Try the Port" Gort, a Dutch wine taster, recently insured his nose for $8 million. Gort, who is known for both his wine tasting and lavish beard (the man is truly living the dream), was given a sniff (actually meaning 'stiff') warning by his insurer Lloyds of London (surprised?) that his barber of choice must not be very, well, barbaric. The policy states that he must seek the service of only experienced barbers sure to keep their razors steady near his multimillionaire schnoz.
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Brand Tip: Questioning Employees and Customers
By Peter van Aartrijk Jr., CIC
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In a word, the very best brands are about passion. Show me a strong local or regional independent agency, and I'll show you owners and employees who are passionate about what they do. They also have raving fans otherwise known as happy customers.
As an agency principal, can you feel any energy around the office? If no, this is a serious problem - and you hopefully realize the cause, or causes. If yes, how do you tap into this passion and build on it?
Click for the Tip! |
| Book of the Month: No More Mondays by Dan Miller
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No feeling about your workplace is off limits in this tome. While at first the notion seems pure insanity, this reviewer recommends management - the very folks often the genesis of texts like these - provide a copy to all staff. The reason is not to incite insurrection but rather encourage eager staffers to participate in the function of the agency from the top down. This book is for those who want their role in the agency to mean more than just data entry or "the project stops here." Rather, turn your agency into a place where Monday is the next step in a great life - not the next step to retirement. Read it now! |
| Product Deal: Mother's Day!
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Attention fathers, husbands and all other sundry male companions of women with children: Mother's Day is coming! You know what that means: the need for the perfect gift for that Special Mom in your life! And if she is an INSURANCE Mom, where better to find that perfect gift than the world-renowned Insurance is Fun! store. Be it comfy pillows, huggable bears or a too-cute outfit for the baby, we've got it - all with that priceless, unique "only those in this industry truly get it" humorous touch that can only be found at Insurance is Fun!
Her satisfaction is guaranteed - with our gifts, we mean. You and the kids are on your own. Check out our store today!
Do It for Mom!
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Picture of the Month: When Horse Shows Are Forced to Cut Expenses
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While all pictured escaped unharmed, the onlooking horse show liability underwriter collapsed. At last report, he had yet to emerge from the coma.
Source: www.allfunnypictures.com | |
