| Quotes of the Month
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"Americans will put up with anything provided is doesn't block traffic."
-- Dan Rather
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
-- Clarence Darrow
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| Joke Time
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An insurance salesman, a risk manager and a safety director are traveling in the countryside. Weary, they stop at a small country inn. "I only have two rooms, so one of you will have to sleep in the barn," the innkeeper says.
The safety director volunteers to sleep in the barn, goes outside, and the others go to bed.
In a short time they're awakened by a knock. It's the safety director, who says, "There's a cow in that barn. I'm a Hindu, and it would offend my beliefs to sleep next to a sacred animal."
The risk manager says it's OK-he'll sleep in the barn.
The others go back to bed but soon are awakened by another knock.
It's the risk manager who says, "There's a pig in the barn. I'm Jewish and cannot sleep next to an unclean animal."
So the insurance salesman is sent to the barn. The others are very tired and are just about to fall asleep when they're awakened by an even louder knocking: it's the cow and the pig.
Source: http://www.barricksinsurance.com/insurance_jokes.html
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| News Flash: Male Diva Denies Reports of Chest Hair Coverage
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According to www.insurancejounral.com, Singer Tom Jones denied reports in a British tabloid that he sought $6.8 million in coverage for his hairy chest from Lloyd's of London.
The carrier is no stranger to strange celebrity requests. Lloyd's has a long list of impressive workds including:
-The legs of Fred Astaire, Betty Grable and Angie Dickinson
-The taste buds of restaurateur Egon Ronay
-The teeth of actor Ken Dodd
-The hands of French pianist Richard Clayderman, Liberace and Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards**
**IIF investigators have also discovered that Keith Richards has been discouraged by his agent from purchasing life insurance coverage, stating that it would be a waste of money since he cannot die or be killed.
***For those of you who read this story expecting a bunch of cheesy Tom Jones jokes, shame on you! You know, it's not unusual for a man to glorify senseless reporting, but don't say that to the reporter responsible for breaking this story, she's a lady! And whatever you do, don't tell Delilah that I can't stop loving you, otherwise I'll never fall in love again. And we all know that without love, there is nothing. So readers, help yourself before you end up like my buddy who was so heartbroken after that daughter of darkness skipped town that he left the green, green grass of home on the Thunderball to Detroit City where his new pickup line: "What's new pussycat?" was usually answered with a swift slap to the face.
Be the first one to identify all the TJ song titles in this senseless babble of a passage and win a prize! Send your submission to : newsletter@insuranceisfun.com. |
Lessons from the Lanes: From Gutter to Greatness by Way of the Alley
By Chris Amrhein, AAI
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Here at IIF we have hung our hat on the simple idea you can be truly great at our business and still enjoy the ride! Yet far too many folks still seem to think we are borderline insane; that insurance at its best is still basically boring. I'd be willing to bet with an attitude like that, their coworkers and customers would agree.
Perhaps these folks need a change of perspective. For example, have you ever considered how much you can learn about being successful in the insurance business from a bowling alley?
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"Finding a Diamond Among the Coal!" Department
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Surely you've heard that many folks now refer to the World Wide Web as the "World Wide Waste." The amount of digital flotsam and jetsam arriving daily merely from ex-Nigerian officials with a need to move money out of the country is enough to clog up the mightiest mailbox filter!
We mean, how much fun is dealing with that? So here at IIF, where we are always about more fun, we decided-as a public service-to help. Each issue, we will find you a diamond from among the coal, a swan from among the geese, a pearl from among the swine-well, you get the idea. So feel free to reroute all your current e-mail bloat into that "automatically delete" file, while trusting us here at IIF headquarters to pass on anything truly worthy of our valued attention. And hey, it'll be fun!
This issue:
During each workday, staffers are encouraged to take just a few moments to relax, breathe, and most importantly, reflect on their daily activities. Such moments can provide the clarity most need to navigate through a typical action-packed, stressful day.
For those who don't care about any of the above and are just looking for a few moments of true mindlessness, games like this are just the ticket:
Find the Diamonds!
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Dingbats Corner: Real Life Musings From the Dumbest Among Us!
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Life Insurers to Use French Town as Model for 'Death Exclusion'
BORDEAUX, France (Reuters) - The mayor of a village in southwest France has threatened residents with severe punishment if they die because there is no room left in the overcrowded cemetery to bury them.
In an ordinance posted in the council offices, Mayor Gerard Lalanne told the 260 residents of the village of Sarpourenx that "all persons not having a plot in the cemetery and wishing to be buried in Sarpourenx are forbidden from dying in the parish."
It added: "Offenders will be severely punished."
Source: Reuters
Auto Insurers: Applications to Request 'Passenger Priority' Breakdown
A Florida woman was pulled over allegedly with a 24-pack of beer strapped into a seat belt so it wouldn't be jostled while a 16-month-old girl was unrestrained in the back seat.
Source: The Week Magazine |
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Brand Tip: It Works Every Time
By Peter van Aartrijk Jr., CIC
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There are a lot animal lovers out there. You probably knew that.
But maybe you didn't think about animal lovers in the insurance industry. Are they on a branding kick?
Click for the Kick! |
| Book of the Month: Finding Keepers: The Monster Guide to Hiring and Holding the World's Best Employees (multiple authors)
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"Where have all the good staff gone, long time passing?"
"When will we ever learn?"
Time to shape up, oh hirers of agency staff! The Bureau of Labor and Statistics reports that 25 percent of the working population will hit retirement age by 2012. Yikes! The recruitment behemoth Monster.com divulges its tested formulas for helping employers bring in and keep power players. From dress code to non-traditional, better received benefit offers to how to pack 'em in using your Web site, they've researched it all. There's tons of analysis covering everything from compensation to the psychology of the great employee. A fun, quick and excellent read and reference guide-read it or weep!
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| Product Deal: Hope for the Time-Deprived!
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 Just days ago you lost an entire hour when you "leapt forward" to Daylight Savings Time. Ah, but is that hour gone forever? Not at IIF! We have ways for you to not only get that hour back, but many more besides - our very own Successful Personal Management! Not just another generic time managment tome, this text is written specifically for insurance folks! Spring clean your calendar, to-do lists and priorities - grab your copy of Successful Personal Management from the IIF Store today!
Check out Success!
PS: Prefer a digital copy? Check out Successful Personal Management as an eBook - along with special bonus offers!
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Picture of the Month
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In only moments, history would be made as Acme Insurance became the first carrier forced into liquidation by auto med pay claims.
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