"There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?"

-Woody Allen

Job Descriptions:

Auditor: Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded

Insurance Agent: Someone other than Jackson Pollock who specializes in painting awful pictures

Consultant: Someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time

Continuing Education Instructor: Someone who talks in someone else's sleep

Source: www.funtoosh.com

In 1998, a business magazine ran a contest asking for Dilbert-like quotes from people who had real-life Dilbert-like managers. Here is the winner.

"As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks."

Following is a testimonial sent in from one of our loyal readers, Carol Ann Brooks from Williamsburg, Va. She shared this with us and we liked it so much that we're passing it on to all of you! Please share your stories with us, we love 'em! Send your story to chris@insuranceisfun. We might (with your permission, of course) just publish you!

And now - here's Carol!

"I have to tell you this. Wednesday afternoon, one of my customers called, and I braced myself. He can be difficult-not ever rude, but difficult. He wanted to tell me that he was WRONG-and I was RIGHT! Well, I wanted to hit the record button! Anyway, he is in the voluntary market on the workers comp-and always, always, always has bi%#ed about having to pay it. But he has always paid on time, etc. Well, seems like he has a claim-called the company, and they are taking care of it for him. He just called to THANK me. He said he never really thought this would happen in his small business. But if he had not had the coverage, this person could have made his life miserable, cost him lawyers' fees, etc. So he just wanted to say he was SORRY for all the fussing, and how happy he was. He will tell all his pals in business that if they do not carry WC, they are nuts! Anyway, as a fairly new agent, it really made my day. I was HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY!

Carol Annie

A twist on the usual here, but nonetheless, another "gem" (pun absolutely intended) from IIF's Chief Fun Officer Chris Amrhein. Enjoy!

Years ago, it was one of my morning highlights to turn to the local Top 40 station and hear the sonorous tones of Earl Nightengale. For those unaware of this man, he was a motivational speaker and thinker who made it his life's work to compile the greatest collection of wisdom ever assembled. He pioneered the use of records and later audiotapes to deliver these jewels of thought to the public at large, and his voice was as famous in his heyday as Walter Cronkite or Paul Harvey (whose "Good Day" often followed Nightengale's five minute radio show on the same stations).

You have to respect a man with the stuff to say Vince Lombardi and Winston Churchill were full of it.

Godin makes the argument FOR quitting. His angle is total intrigue: that successful business people quit all the time. The difference is that they know when to quit, saving precious time, face and energy in the process. Godin is in your face from page one, challenging conventional wisdom while you regret all those hours you spent spinning wheels with this prospect or that employee knowing full well you should've punted. He argues that pride and complacency are the death of successful businesspeople, and by the time you finish you will agree. The irony is that the tome is an ode to persistence; just keep it in your court and forget being all things to all people. Read it!