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Michele Woodward Executive Life Coach
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Powerful Coaching. Powerful Results.
August 3, 2009
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Greetings!
This one is coming from the heart.
Last week, after a particularly challenging
coaching session with a client, I wrote this
on my
Facebook page:
"Never confuse urgency and drama with meaning
and purpose."
So many people are focused on "winning" and
"making a mark" and "getting" and being "Type
A" and, then ask me to help them find out why
they are so unhappy and unfulfilled and
struggle to identify their life's
purpose.
I can tell you something. They're making
things a lot more difficult than they need to
be.
Because I believe every human being has the
exact same purpose in life.
It's to be a force for good in the world.
Simple.
And although we share the same
purpose, we derive our own personal
meaning from how we decide to do
good.
One person might be a force for good in the
world by teaching. Another by cleaning
streets. One might find meaning in helping
people become prosperous, another in curing
illness.
The overarching purpose is to do something
good. In large and small ways. All the time.
I am never doing good if I cheat you, scam
you or otherwise take advantage of you.
Never. Not in business. Not ever. People
who conduct their business this way may find
that they get a big score at the outset, but
rarely ever create a lasting, truly lucrative
business. See Bernie Madoff, for example.
You do better when you're focused on doing
good.
Now, tyrants and despots often justify their
bad acts by saying they are acting in the
"common good." Ethnic cleansing, silencing
dissidents and controlling the media comes to
mind. You can probably come up with some
other examples yourself.
But when anyone is hurt, good is not being
done. When harm is done, we're acting in
direct opposition to our life's purpose, so
it's no wonder that tyrants and despots often
wind up being hung by their ankles with body
parts stuffed into their mouths by the very
people they were trying to "protect."
Now we know what meaning and purpose are all
about -- let's look at urgency and drama.
Just because something's urgent, doesn't mean
it's important. If I get a flat tire, it's
urgent but is not really important. I can
pull over, jack up the car, replace the tire,
go on my way.
Or I can choose to make it a drama. Boy
howdy, can I. How about I call my brother, my
sister-in-law, my neighbor, my son, my best
friend and the local radio station to
announce that I Have A Flat Tire and invite
them to join the pity party with me? I can
then regale the folks at the supermarket, the
dry cleaners and the smoothie shop with the
story of My Flat Tire. Watch me work the
story at the office!
I get all wrapped around the axle.
And a twenty minute inconsequential period
extends into hours, maybe even weeks of
drama.
Which takes time and attention away from my
real life's purpose.
Cuz I'm not doing good. In fact, I'm just
creating needless motion that uses up my
energy.
Which is what I hear from my coaching
clients. For years and years they have
allowed urgent matters to masquerade as their
life's purpose, and accepted drama as a
substitute for meaning. They're addicted to
the high fructose corn syrup adrenaline rush
of drama, and have completely lost their
taste for the true sweetness of real
meaning.
When you're hip to your life's purpose of
being a force for good, you can find meaning
in the smallest things. Like holding the
door open for the pregnant woman pushing a
stroller. Like giving up your seat on the
subway to the elderly man with the cane. Like
smiling. Easy things you can do every
day.
Big things can hold great meaning, too. Like
mentoring that young man at work. Or being
generous with well-deserved raises to your
best people despite the economy. Or finding
a vaccine for cancer. Challenging, time
consuming things that can take a whole career
to accomplish are ripe with meaning.
Since this is my own personal manifesto, let
me go a step further. I believe you already
know this. I believe people are, at their
core, good. We only get stuck when we get in
our own way and confuse urgency and drama
with meaning and purpose. So step out of the
way. Deal with that which is urgent, because
we all face things that need attention. But
attend without drama. Fulfilling your life
purpose means being who it is you are at your
core -- good old you -- and doing what good
you can in each moment.
Have you seen my new website? You
can search past blog posts by topic area, so
if you want to read more, go here.
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INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE DU JOUR
"What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish
I'd realized it sooner."
-- Colette
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OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS
A small number of slots are open for the
fabulous Kick Ass Mentoring Marketing
Mastermind program for coaches Pam Slim (of
Escape From Cubicle Nation fame) and I are
leading. It's our goal to help all coaches
grow, succeed and do their best possible
work. We're committed to your success, and
if you're looking for strong mentorship and
useful support and
guidance, we'd love to have you in the program.
To get details and the online application,
please go to Kick
Ass Mentoring. I can hardly wait.
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SOMETHING TO READ
Ignore Everybody by Hugh MacLeod
So I just read this book: Ignore
Everybody: and 39 Other Keys to
Creativity by Hugh MacLeod and, after
the first couple of quick chapters, expected
to not like it much.
See, it's a real dude book. Written by a
dude. With dude examples. And dude
benchmarks. And dude-related cartoons.
Drawn on the back of business cards, yet.
Dude stuff.
But once I got used to the writer's voice, I
came to appreciate what he's talking about.
He's talking about how to be creative --
really take chances, really do that which
you're passionate about, really do something
bold -- and I liked it.
Maybe more than liked it. Maybe... unlocked
my inner creative dude. So back off, and get
your own copy of Ignore
Everybody: and 39 Other Keys to
Creativity . Dude.
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Michele Woodward
Michele Woodward Consulting, Inc.
phone:
703/598-3100
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