Michele Woodward Executive Life Coach
Powerful Coaching. Powerful Results.
 April 6, 2009
Michele Woodward
Greetings!

Being stuck stinks. You're stuck when you know you can't stay where you are but you don't exactly know where to go. It's like running on a treadmill covered in molasses -- slow and sticky. And you're forever running in place.

Why do we get stuck at all? Why can't we rational human beings simply decide to do this, that or the other thing and get a move on?

Ah, if only it were that simple.

A few years ago I read a fascinating article in Fast Company magazine called "Change or Die", and it's been really helpful in so many ways. It gave me insight into something important: people stay stuck in situations that aren't good for them because they can't see how making a change will lead to anything positive.

Let's look at wellness. The bulk of medical expenses come from five lifestyle habits -- smoking, drinking, eating, stress and not enough exercise. Most doctors tell patients "make changes in these areas, or you will die". But in a few months or years the patient goes back to the bad old habits that brought on the trouble in the first place. We know what's good for us, but we just don't do it. Why?

"Change or Die" cites the work of Dr. Dean Ornish, who has achieved remarkable long-term results by taking a different approach with heart patients:

"Doctors had been trying to motivate patients mainly with the fear of death, he says, and that simply wasn't working. For a few weeks after a heart attack, patients were scared enough to do whatever their doctors said. But death was just too frightening to think about, so their denial would return, and they'd go back to their old ways.

"The patients lived the way they did as a day-to-day strategy for coping with their emotional troubles. 'Telling people who are lonely and depressed that they're going to live longer if they quit smoking or change their diet and lifestyle is not that motivating,' Ornish says. 'Who wants to live longer when you're in chronic emotional pain?'

"So instead of trying to motivate them with the 'fear of dying,' Ornish reframes the issue.He inspires a new vision of the 'joy of living' -- convincing them they can feel better, not just live longer. That means enjoying the things that make daily life pleasurable, like making love or even taking long walks without the pain caused by their disease. 'Joy is a more powerful motivator than fear,' he says."


This approach makes a difference for my clients. And it can for you, too. Simply look for a positive motivator -- and believe it's possible to achieve -- and stuckness disappears.

Rather than focus on how alone you'll be when that cheating boyfriend is out of your life, think about how wonderful it will be to find a loyal and faithful partner. Rather than beat yourself up for not losing weight, think about all you will be able to do when you're healthier. Rather than dwell on how horrible it was to be fired, consider how great it will be to get a paycheck again.

Hey, if you're stuck in some area of your life, here's your homework: take out a piece of paper. Write one sentence about where you're stuck. Then write down what the happy outcome will be when you get unstuck. Shift it, baby. Then hold on to that positive glimmer and make a couple of teeny-tiny steps every day directly toward it.

It's not "change or die", my darlings, it's "change and be happy". And I'm here to tell you -- it's completely possible.

There's more to read at my blog -- want to see? Click here.

HOW ABOUT SOME HORSE WHISPERING?
Primal Leadership, June 2 - 4th, Marriott Ranch, Hume, VA

I am happy beyond measure to announce that my horse whispering friend and fellow Master Coach Koelle Simpson is coming to the East Coast to do her first workshop - and I'll be on-site helping her deliver a great, breakthrough program.

The 3-day workshop, called "Primal Leadership" is set for June 2-4, 2009 at the beautiful Marriot Ranch in Hume, VA.

Here's what Koelle says about the workshop: "You are trying to take charge of your life. You want to be heard, understood, motivational, and self confident. But some areas of your life aren't quite coming together as you had hoped.

"You might wonder how you can learn to become a better leader in each aspect of your life by hanging out with horses. Here's how: these animals are very sensitive to human communication. When you're internally agitated, keyed-up, dishonest, or stressed, it doesn't matter how upbeat and positive you are on the outside--just like the people in your life, the horse knows better. They won't trust a weak, scared, or phony leader."

Would you like to hone your leadership skills? Figure out what's holding you back, or how to get going? This is just the program for you. Want more information? Contact me -- we have room for just twelve people to insure a great experience for everyone. Early bird registration discounts are available. It's going to be a great event, and I really want you to be there to experience this one of a kind learning. It's going to be great!
SOMETHING TO READ
Still Alice by Lisa Genova
Still Alice

I picked up Still Alice because I read that Lisa Genova, a neuroscientist/first-time writer, had shopped this book to publishers only to get rejected. So she published the book herself and used innovative strategies that got the book read by the public. Once the word-of-mouth spread, she got a mainstream publisher and the book is now a best-seller.

Love that story.

And I love the story in Still Alice. Alice Howland, distinguished linguistics professor starts suffering memory loss (and who at about age 50 doesn't?) that turns into a devastating diagnosis of early-onset Alzheimer's disease. With compassion and understanding, Lisa Genova writes eloquently about the impact on Alice, her husband, her children and friends.

And the redeeming value is this -- even at the book's end, when Alice is unable to converse with the stunning ease she once had, when she's unable to remember her husband or children... she's still Alice. There is something immutable in all of us that even disease cannot destroy. In the end, she's still Alice, and she's still loved. That, in and of itself, is reason enough to read this lovely first novel.
UPCOMING EVENTS
MTW Logo

In April, I'll be speaking to a women's group and a law firm -- and my next free call will be noon EDT on Friday, April 24th. Stay tuned for more details.

In May, I'll facilitating St. Columba's Mom's Group Mother's Day Retreat -- second year in a row, and it's a great group of working and at-home moms. If you're looking for a group to grow with, consider joining them. Also in May, there's a great new event coming to Washington, DC -- IgniteDC.

Hope to see you at one of these upcoming events! If you have ideas for other events, please contact me.

Michele Woodward
Michele Woodward Consulting, Inc.
phone: 703/598-3100