Remembering, Nostalgia and Sorrow: The Road of Life.

     Along The Road by

              Robert Browning

   I walked a mile with Pleasure; She chattered all the way. But left me none the wiser for all she had to say.

   I walked a mile with Sorrow and ne'er a word said she: But oh, the things I learned from her, when Sorrow walked with me.

     The  frenzied pace of the past few weeks is winding down as we mark the end of the busy holiday season culminating in the wondrous holy day of Christmas and the coming of a new year. This week also marks the end of Autumn and the beginning of Winter. Irrespective of whether you are in grief at this time, there is a sorrowful kind of nostalgia associated with beginnings and endings. Because I have talked in the past about the link that always connects beginnings with endings, let me simply say here: do not turn away from the nostalgia or sorrow associated with endings/beginnings. Do heed the wisdom in the simple lines of Browning's short poem: sorrow is always an astute teacher if you will but listen. The message of Sorrow alerts us to the fullness of living....the complement of joy with pain; of sadness with hope; of laughter with tears and an abiding faith that "whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should" ( Desiderata: Max Ehrmann). 

The Beginning of Winter.

"....Scatter, as from an unextinguished hearth

Ashes and sparks, my words among mankind!

Be through my lips to unawakened earth

The trumpet of a prophecy! O Wind,

If Winter comes, can Spring be far behind?"

     Last stanza:Ode to the West Wind by Percy Bysshe Shelley, Poet (1792-1822)

     The beginning of winter reminds us that it is the time when nature returns to its core in the bosom of the earth to renew and energize as it patiently awaits the promise of Spring. In this waiting, nature tolerates the winter's cold, snow and fierce wind while underground it quietly works to nurture the stirring of new beginnings. It shows itself as we begin to enjoy the gradually lengthening daylight and in spite of the cold and snow, the sun shines more brightly. We will experience the full beauty of nature's winter work when Spring arrives.

     When you are in grief, like nature, you return to the core of your life force. It is a journey inward to question, to wonder and to wander as you learn from your sorrow. You summon the energy to tolerate the winter of your grief: it is in "walking with your Sorrow" that you take the early tentative baby steps toward eventually relinquishing the pain of grief as you consign your dead to the ages. The memory of your grief becomes a part of your historical past as you embrace different ways to be happy in your unfolding present. But for now, with the poet, Shelley, you trust that if Winter comes, Spring is truly not far behind.

     As you celebrate this holiday with family, friends and your precious animals, know that a part of celebrating always includes remembering...which often brings sorrow. But it is in remembering that we honor and preserve the memory of those who have died...they live always with us, albeit now in spirit and memories made, knowing that we will make no new memories with those who have died. So,we hold those memories dear as we move inexorably forward on the road of life. 

     (To guide your reflections while preparing for the holidays, you might review some of the messages in my archive...especially: Grief and the Holidays (December) and September Morning: History, Biography and Identity).

     In conclusion, honor those who have died by living joyfully and in wholeness as you celebrate the holidays and venerate the holy day.

     Happy holidays and a very Blessed Christmas to all.

Untill next time, as always,

My very best 

Barbara