I have been waiting for this question for a long time, and in answering, I will try my best to remain calm. 

 

The first thing to understand is that marriage is a spiritual matter before it is a legal matter.  The problem with being married before the justice of the peace is that the marriage is perceived as a mere legal union, rather than a union that has been ordained by God.  A component such as love and marriage should not be viewed in a legal sense, but in a spiritual sense; I understand that for a marriage to really work, the couple should seek the Lord and Godly counsel.  God is the creator of marriage; therefore, it makes sense for the married couple to be in touch with the creator in order to understand how to effectively live within His creation of marriage. 

 

I do not promote going before the justice of the peace, because it leaves out God from a ceremonial perspective by focusing merely on the legal perspective.  Even though I can not force my perspective upon you, I stand by my perspective that having a marriage ceremony sanctified by God is the best option.  If you go before the judge within the justice of the peace, I believe you have an increased chance of going before a judge in the near future for a divorce, because you did not place God within your marriage. 

 

Remember, God is the author of your marriage, so I recommend that you get married under God.  In the rap industry, when an artist borrows an original beat, he/she needs to pay royalties to the artist who produced the original beat; in comparison, God is the author (similar to the original artist) of marriage, so God should be included (similar to how royalties recognize the original artist) within the marriage process.

 

 

Counselor M. Gary Neuman surveyed 200 cheating and noncheating husbands to get at the real reasons behind men's infidelity.

 

What makes men cheat? Marriage counselor M. Gary Neuman dug through past research on male infidelity and found that most answers came from the wife's point of view. Wouldn't it make more sense to ask the guys? he thought. So for his new book, The Truth About Cheating, Neuman surveyed 200 cheating and noncheating husbands to get at the real reasons behind men's infidelity - including what cheating men say could have prevented them from straying. Here, some of his findings:

48% of men rated emotional dissatisfaction as the primary reason they cheated.

 

66% of cheating men report feeling guilt during the affair.

 

77% of cheating men have a good friend who cheated.

 

40% of cheating men met the other woman at work.


More Information

 

 

 

I have counseled some wives who will express to their husbands the importance of communication, respect and love (which are all important components within a marriage), but overlook their husband's desire to have sex on more of a regular basis.  In such a case, the wife or husband cannot view their desires as being supreme while overlooking the importance of their mate's desires; doing so will cause friction within the marriage.  It is important that both husband and wife find a compromise on fulfilling their spouse's desires.  There will be moments where the husband won't want to communicate or the wife won't want to have sex; however, both mates must be willing to make a mutual sacrifice to keep the marriage strong.

 

 

This is a problem that many ministers have when it comes to their wife.  It is wrong to believe that you have all the answers without hearing out your wife.  Since marriage is the joining of one flesh, you and your spouse must mutually communicate and listen to each other.  Husbands, the minute you stop listening to them, your wife will catch on to this quickly with her intuitive 6th sense.  Wives, I understand that you will want to address this issue; however, your approach in addressing the issue to your husband is vital.  Don't approach him in a coarse and abrasive manner, but instead approach him with gentleness and love.  Your husband would be most receptive to that gentle-love approach; the coarse and abrasive approach would most likely put him in a defensive mode.  A husband, who is willing to listen to his wife, will become a wise man because he will learn to know and understand his wife.

 

1.        Turn her loose
a.        Don't hold on to her. It is in God's hands.
b.        Reduce your contact with your wife.
c.        Let her start the talking, not you.
2.        Pray & Fast
a.        Only God can fix this thing.
3.        Don't Talk to Other females
a.        If there is any hope for you to get back together, do not date and keep your ring on.
4.        CHANGE
a.        Immediately change those attitudes, habits, or behaviors that have caused her pain.
5.        Seek out a counselor
a.        Get involved in counseling as soon as possible.
6.        REPENT & TELL ALL
a.        If you keep on lying, she can not heal.  Remember, the truth will set you free.
7.        FACE the consequences of your ways

 

Intercourse pain, or dyspareunia, can cause problems in a couple's sexual relationship. In addition to the physically painful sex, there is also the possibility of negative emotional effects, so the problem should be addressed as soon as it becomes evident.

What Causes Painful Sex in Women?
In many cases, a woman can experience painful sex if there is not sufficient vaginal lubrication. When this occurs, the pain can be resolved if the female becomes more relaxed, if the amount of foreplay is increased, or if the couple uses a sexual lubricant.

In some cases, a woman can experience painful intercourse if one of the following conditions is present:

 

Pastor TC on Radio

   

Hear DJ Buck and Nancy on (October 22nd) with invited guest Pastor TC.

 

To hear previous shows go to Archive

 

 

First, similar to love, forgiveness is an action. You cannot say you forgive, yet still hold animosity in your heart.  The forgiveness process is something that needs to be worked on 24-7 throughout the relationship.  Forgiveness is a Christian principle which requires Christ in your heart to bring it to pass.  Secondly, when the wife forgives, the husband must stop the behavior or action that caused his wife's pain. It is amazing to me when I hear husbands say "my wife will not forgive me", while that same husband has not stopped partaking in the behavior or action that caused his wife's pain.  Third, if the wife forgives and the husband continues in his hurtful ways, she should go into prayer and encourage her husband to go to marriage counseling with her.  If her husband refuses the marriage counseling and continues in his ways, she should consider separation or divorce as an option; God would want restoration within the marriage, but not continuous emotional or physical abuse.  With prayer, marriage counseling, and time, God can help the wife make the decision on whether to stay in the marriage or not.  

 

 

 

I advise young couples to really get to know each other well internally before exploring the topic of marriage.  When a couple is getting to know each other internally, they are exploring each other's values, beliefs, goals, aspirations, etc...  Too many couples make the mistake by judging the relationship based upon external factors like one's physical attractiveness, how well they dress, or sex; these external components are superficial and not a good barometer on the potential longevity of a relationship.  In fact, sex which is the deepest physical connection between a man and a woman should happen within the context of marriage.  In addition, spiritual counsel on the subject of marriage will provide the couple with a deeper understanding about marriage.  I also advise couples to purchase material about marriage such books, or magazines.  The more the couple knows about the marriage topic, the better prepared they will be for marriage.   

How to Stop Fighting: Tips for Married Couples  

 

 

Becky Robbins says she and her husband, Neil -- married for eight years -- rarely fight.

That doesn't mean that there isn't conflict for the Berrien Springs, Mich., couple. It's just that she screams "kind of like the queen in Alice in Wonderland," uttering phrases reminiscent of "off with their heads." And her husband responds like most guys in marriage fighting. He hides in "the bedroom playing video games."

This isn't what we envisioned as we clutched hands as newlyweds and sneered at those older couples who ate in silence at the Waffle House. But the reality is, you're probably going to have marital disputes. And each of us have our own style of fighting, stepping into the ring ready for a knock-out over the toothpaste in the sink, wrinkled laundry in the dryer or appropriate television for the toddler.

"Everyone in a relationship argues," says Debbie Mandel, author of Addicted to Stress. "However, how loudly you scream or how frequently you fight does not predict the outcome of your marriage."

What qualifies as fighting fair in marriage essentially comes down to how each partner feels when they leave the ring. If both are hearty "boxers," who love a few rounds in the ring and then are ready for some make-up sex, the marriage is probably fine.

But if people leave the ring angry, bitter, and resentful, perhaps it's time to re-evaluate, either together or with the help of a therapist or psychologist.

And what if a careful, logical analysis of your fights still doesn't stop your anger about dishes left in the family room? What's some real-life advice for couples who might experience more marriage disagreements during these trying economic times?