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Relationship Newsletter 

Volume 2 2009 Issue 17
In This Issue
Marriage Issues
Sponsors


Restoration Springs Church
Old Newsletters


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06 27 09 2
 
 
Everyone needs a place to belong. A place that fits you like a favorite pair of jeans, that's as welcoming as your much-loved and much-worn chair in the den. A place where your whole family is accepted, loved and respected and where you can learn more about the God that created us. At Restoration Springs we're trying to create that kind of place. Join us this Sunday - we think you belong here!

 
CT Style
 
 
Watch Pastor TC on Connecticut Sttyle.

Talk During Sex

 
When you are having married sex, you do not have to be quite as if you were in a library.  Open up, speak out and let the good times roll.  If you have kids, put them to bed, and put on the music so they won't hear you while you are talking to your spouse during your love-making session.  You and your spouse must learn to let yourselves go to freely and comfortable express yourselves during your passionate encounter with each other.  Husbands and wives must not hold back the expressiveness during love making.  In addition, if you learn to communicate during sex, you should communicate with your spouse outside of sex as well.
Makeup is not a sin
 

Some Christian women have been told that wearing makeup is a sin.  However, this is not the case; it is only bringing out the beauty that is already present.  The makeup is not the problem; however, a problem exists when the married couple is depriving one another from sex.  Withholding sex from your spouse is more detrimental to the relationship.  I encourage married couples to not deprive each other of sex, and to make an effort to look attractive for one another.  For example, the married couple can workout together; also, the women can wear some makeup, and the husband can groom himself in order to enhance and maintain that physical attraction towards one another.
Iphone
 
Use technology to enhance the love life within a marriage.  If we know how to put a man on the moon, why can't we use technology to a keep a husband and wife together?  Use it to text, communicate, and send pictures to each other.  The key is to stay in touch with your spouse in a romantic way.
Rejection second tier to Adultery

When you continuously reject your spouse's wishes (of wanting to make love), this is almost as bad as committing adultery.  Adultery is the utmost in rejection where one is not satisfied with the lovemaking of one's spouse so that person scandalously spreads one's intimacy elsewhere.  If you have not committed adultery but continue to say 'no' to love making with your spouse, you are destined for problems down the road.  When you continuously turn down your spouse in regards to lovemaking, your spouse will be left with feelings of rejection; such rejection feelings parallel those of your spouse finding out you committed adultery.   If you do not have time to make love at the moment, give your spouse a rain check.
Excerpt of "New Sheets" by T. Charles Brantley 
 
 
Another issue is when Christian wives are jealous of
worldly wives who enjoy the passions of their husbands' loins,
while these Christian wives stay in unsatisfied unions. Dare I
say it is time to take back everything the devil took. Stop lying
to yourself and start enjoying one another to the fullest.

Due to fornication, married couples bring a truckload of
sexual issues into the bedroom. Within this truckload, one may
experience hurts from sex. This is why God forbade sex before
marriage. When a person has sex before marriage, that person
brings in issues that should never have accrued before the
marriage. Therefore, couples have to first get beyond their
former un-married flings so that they can FINALLY deal with
each other sexually.

Sex is always there, and since some couples are talking
about it without direction, they have great frustration because
they can't agree on the hows and whens.
 

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Spiritual and Sensual
Chapter from "Married Couples: Thou Shalt have Great Sex" 
 
 
The word sensual relates to the senses (hearing, sight, smell, touch, taste, and equilibrium). You can include
hunger as part of this group as well. When we were born, we were given BOTH spiritual and sensual NEEDS. Both
come from God. Because of this, we have to address both
issues as we grow in grace.
Many have tried to kill the flesh (the sensual side). Nevertheless, if we are honest with ourselves, we know
the flesh rises again. The revelation that I have received is about learning to control and balance these senses. You
may not agree, but people can become strict legalists to the point that they do not address their physical issues. I know
this sentiment may not be popular, but I see overweight
Christian giants who love the Lord but hate their own bodies; we need to learn to love our bodies.

 
Married Couple - Book Cover
 

Thank you to my editor-in-chief Tyrone Waters.

Furthermore, if you don't have a church home we invite you to
 
Restoration Springs Interdenominational Church 1575 Thomaston Avenue in Waterbury.

www.rest.org
 
If you need baby blessings please contact me at 203-753-7377 or officiate weddings go to  - S & M (Strong Marriages)
 
http://rest.org/SandMplus.htm

Remember In the Book of Ecclesiastes chapter 4 and verse 12 (Bible)
"And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken."  

TRANSLATION (With only husband and wife the commitment can easily fail, but with God, husband, and wife the cord of commitment is not quickly broken.)


Pastor TC Brantley
Restoration Springs Interdenominational Church 
 
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Find Shelter at Restoration Springs
 
Wouldn't it be great if life could always be stress-free and happy? Instead we all encounter everyday storms: the clouds of stress, whirlwinds of despair, the lightning of anger and betrayal - it's enough to make you feel like the forces of nature are conspiring against you. At (church name) we have found a way to maintain peace even in the difficult times. Join us this weekend to explore how you can experience sun in the storms of life.get your life running smoother. With a pit crew (of friends) and instructions from the master designer, the road ahead will look much brighter! So this weekend, pull over and see us!
5 Ways to Fix a Sexless Marriage   
 
Some shudder just hearing it - the sexless marriage. Yet before they know it, married people and cohabitators alike find themselves erotically exiled, as if put on an involuntary sex diet.
 
So how does one resuscitate the sex in their relationship? By taking care of the sex bit, one must attend to other matters as well. An action plan should include the following:

1. Be introspective. You need to start with yourself, asking some tough questions on how your relationship got to this point. Items to consider include: What does the lack of sex indicate? Could it be that you're not a good match? Has your relationship reached its expiration date? Or, is there a much bigger problem to tackle outside of the bedroom?
2. Talk about your sex life and relationship. This matter can be very difficult to discuss, but is well worth the effort since couples who talk about sex tend to have healthier marriages. In doing so, you want to raise awareness without blaming or sulking. Simply point out what's going on without issuing ultimatums or making threats. Let your partner know that you want to talk about what can be done to fix things.
3. Only worry about yourselves. You are in this for you, and you do not need to keep up with the Joneses. Don't allow yourselves to feel abnormal or unhealthy for not having sex, as society tends to make us feel. Don't put pressure on yourselves when it comes to having an "ideal" amount of sex.
4. Plan for a break. Get sex off of the back burner by making time for it on a regular basis. While the occasional vacation can be just what the doctor ordered, seek to take time off from work (and send any kids away) to be alone at home. Balance this with efforts to connect outside of the bedroom and in non-sexual ways.

5. Seek professional help to establish or re-establish communication. Working with a therapist or counselor is great to establish a safe environment. Such a professional can help you to reach your goals, examine the reasons for a lack of motivation, and face past and present influences that are contributing to the situation.
 
Sex in the Senior Years Getting older can bring new sexual challenges -- as well as new sexual pleasures
 
Such physical and psychological problems in relation to sex are not all that unusual among seniors, whose bodies (and minds) can change dramatically during their 60s and 70s.
Certain medications, such as those used to treat high blood pressure and depression, can reduce libido. So, too, can declining levels of testosterone in both men and women. Nerve damage can impair a man's ability to get and sustain an erection. And low levels of estrogen can thin and dry a woman's vaginal tissues, making intercourse uncomfortable.

On the emotional front, long-simmering relationship difficulties may dampen desire, as can shame about an aging body. And either partner can suffer a dramatic blow to his or her sex life if the other partner is incapacitated by illness or injury.

Last I heard, my septuagenarian patients were sexually happy and healthy -- and enjoying new modes of intimacy.

Ask your doctor if your problem has a medical cause -- and a solution.

Use lubricant to help with vaginal dryness.

Kick things off with foreplay. Older men need more touching to get an erection, and older women need more touching to get lubricated.
 

Inhibitions

The more inhibitions couples have toward one another, the more various issues will arise.  In other words, if you keep coming up against speed bumps (your spouse's inhibitions are not released through communication), you will eventually be discouraged to continue to ride the car (or discouraged from exploring your spouse's inhibitions).  Too many married couples have a difficult time sharing their fantasies with each other.  Not communicating your desires and fantasies to one another will have a negative effect on the marriage.  You must fight the good fight of faith and trust, and not hold back anything from one another.
Living Together First Can Spoil Marriage
 
Couples who shack up before tying the knot are more likely to get divorced than their counterparts who don't move in together until marriage, a new study suggests.

Upwards of 70 percent of U.S. couples are cohabiting these days before marrying, the researchers estimate.

The study, published in the February issue of the Journal of Family Psychology, indicates that such move-ins might not be wise.

And it's not because you start to get on one another's nerves. Rather, the researchers figure the shared abode could lead to marriage for all the wrong reasons.

"We think that some couples who move in together without a clear commitment to marriage may wind up sliding into marriage partly because they are already cohabiting," said lead researcher Galena Rhoades of the University of Denver.

For More Information
Maggot on Food

Please remember it is not the message, but how you deliver the message.  Too many couples merely express themselves without previously assessing their tone of delivery.  Before you speak, check the plate or in other words, assess whether you will express yourself in an angry tone or a pleasant tone.  If the plate is dirty (your tone in angry), your spouse may be more defensive and less likely to be receptive to what you are attempting to express; therefore, try to express yourself in a more loving and pleasant tone so that your spouse will be more receptive to what you are saying.

For More Information
Tennis

In communication, there must be a continuous back and forth volley.  In tennis, if one holds the ball, the other person cannot return the ball.  So is in communication, if your spouse wants to communicate with you, do not remain silent.  Also NEVER EVER use 'I do not know' as a continuous scapegoat to not communicating.  This will only make your spouse into an investigator instead of a lover.More Information
Wife and Life

Husbands should understand that a good wife contributes to a good life.  Wives should realize that if she has a good husband, let him know.
Info & More

summer time
Picnics and pools, fireworks and hotdogs, vacations and baseball. There's nothing like summer weekends to rejuvenate the soul. While you're planning your summer, why not calendar your Sunday mornings at Restoration Springs Interdenominational Church? Here you'll experience a relevant message, upbeat music and fun events for young and old alike. You can build relationships with others in your community and learn to strengthen the bonds within your family. Come enjoy the morning with us!
Pastor TC on Radio
Linda R Hot  937


   
Hear DJ Buck and Nancy on July 30th 2009 with invited guest Pastor TC.
 
To hear previous shows go to Archive
 
Click to read some of the accomplishments of Pastor TC.  All to the glory of God.
Get an E-BOOK INSTEAD
 
 
Because of the recession, purchase an E-Book instead of a paper copy of Pastor TC Books.  All of his books are in electronic form. Here are advantages of E-Books:

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4.    Ebooks are searchable. You can easily search for any information in an ebook, instead of turning page after page.
5.     An Ebook takes up less space compared to a traditional book.
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Marriage Coitus Highlights
 
  • Husbands who have sex three a week lower their risk of stroke by 50%. Also wives look up to eight years younger when they have regular sex with their husbands (According to AC)
  • Playful attitude in the bed is a good attititude outside of the bed.
  • Wives who lack sex may have HSDD disorder.HSDD is the acronym for Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder, an affliction which affects millions of women around the globe. HSDD is characterized as a lack (or absence) of sexual fantasies and desire for sexual activity, which lasts for some period of time. To be considered HSDD, it must cause marked distress or interpersonal difficulties and is not better accounted for by another medical condition or mental disorder. For More Information
  • A US sex shop reported a 25% incease in sales since the economic downturn, showing that some poeple get frisky when the going gets touch. During these economic bad times, spouses whould not suffer the more. Arousal aids along with communication is a great place to start.
Excerpt
from "Real Men Don't Have Closets" by T. Charles Brantley 
 
Wives, before you go down the path, make
sure your facts are not emotional. You cannot
go on thought; you must have the facts. In this,
a husband cannot deny the truth. Remember,
he lied this far, and he may lie again. By having
all the cards on the table, he cannot run from
the truth.
In essence, are you ready for the truth? Are
you ready to make the decision that will affect
your family forever? Yes, ladies, the ball is in
your court when your husband spills the beans.
The decision may be to stay, or your decision
may be to leave. The only words I can give you
is think hard on your decision before making it.


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Excerpt from "Successful Marriages for Successful Men" by T. Charles Brantley 
 
Truthfulness

Brothers, we must come clean. Without a doubt, no woman wants a man who lies to her. In no way can this be compromised. When she asks you a question,
be straight up and answer her. If you hide
something, she will surely figure it out. God gave women another sense, and my God, they use it to
their advantage. Someone said that women are better liars than men. Upon this fact, man, we still have to do right even if they do wrong to us. This is
why you must speak the truth always.

You should rather have your wife leave due to truth (revelation) about you than have your wife leave you because you spoke a lie. In addition, I know, men, it is hard at times to speak the truth because in the back of our minds we are wondering about the
consequences that our wives will give to us. We
must fight this true demon. If you do not fight that "what if" spirit, it will come on you like a stack of bricks and surely hurt you in ways unknown. I
believe we get our lying spirit from our father
Adam. When God asked Adam, he blamed his wife for the sin. We have to fight that same natural
impulse. We have to muster up the truth and speak it to her 25/8.

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Love is for GROWN FOLKS ONLY

It occurs to me that most of the popular singers are very young.  Many of the soulful sounds of old are gone because such a sound required the artist to have gone through some hardships and experienced life.  We are in a society where songs of love are portrayed by young people who have not stood the test of time.  Many of them are one-hit-wonders.  This may partially explain why relationships are not lasting through the hardships; they are listening to people who are one-hit-wonders themselves.
Love is for GROWN FOLKS ONLY
 
Let your self Go wives
When your husband is making love to you, stop holding back your orgasmic feeling, let it go so your orgasms can reach another level.
Relationship and Marriage(Pre & Post) Coaching available with Pastor TC (M. Div). Call 203-753-7377 for scheduling. There is presently an opening for new clients.
 
Its time to have a Marriage Coach in your life to either enhance or help you get through the many experiences that marriage brings. Call Coach TC today and schedule your first appointment.
 
There are many ways to improve your marriage through
Strong Marriages
 
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7. Hour Long counseling - Call 753-7377
8. Two-Hour Long Counseling - Call 753-7377
9. VIP Group Counseling Session - Call 753-7377
10. Corporate Relationship Training
11. Seminars at Churches and Non-Profit
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For more information please go to Pastor TC Book Store
 
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