Top 5 Reasons Top 5 Reasons for Skipping Sex
Feb. 10, 2009 -- Being tired or needing sleep are the top reasons for skipping sex, a new poll shows.
The national poll, conducted by phone in January by the Consumer Reports National Research Center, included 1,000 adults 18-75. Women made up 52% of the group. Most participants, 57%, were married or living with a partner, and 48% have kids younger than 18 living at home.
Most participants, 81%, said they sometimes avoided sex last year. Here are their top five reasons for not having sex, along with the percentage of participants who chose that reason (they could choose more than one reason for not having sex):
1. Too tired or need sleep: 53%
2. Not feeling well or health reasons: 49%
3. Not in the mood: 40%
4. Taking care of children and/or pets: 30%
5. Work: 29%
The flagging economy wasn't one of their reasons. Of the 595 participants who reported being sexually active in 2008, 78% said that the economy hadn't affected how often they have sex. Other findings from the survey include:
45% of sexually active participants say they've ever planned a time to have sex with their partners, but only 7% schedule sex on their calendar or PDA.
56% of men said they think about sex daily, compared to 19% of women
People who rate their health as "poor" are less likely to have sex, but they're not less likely to think about sex.
Parents of kids younger than 18 were more likely to report having sex in 2008 than people not living with children.
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Law of Reciprocity
In short term the definition of Reciprocity is "In social psychology, reciprocity refers to responding to a positive action with another positive action, and responding to a negative action with another negative one. Positive reciprocal actions differ from altruistic actions as those only follow from other positive actions and they differ from social gift giving in that those are not actions taken with the hope or expectation of future positive responses." <Reference is from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reciprocity_(social_psychology)>. In simple terms, whatever you give out is what will come right back to you in the end. If you want to change your home for the positive, stop dealing out negative and instead deal out positive.
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Feelings and Actions
Many times when mates mess up, they try to "patch things up" without talking about and taking action to solve the issue or issues. When you do this, you are liable to cause more pain than help. So understand that your actions will determine your feelings. A spouse could talk until they are blue in the face, but unless your spouse sees actions that line up with the talk, negative feelings will be the result.
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Everyone needs a place to belong. A place that fits you like a favorite pair of jeans, that's as welcoming as your much-loved and much-worn chair in the den. A place where your whole family is accepted, loved and respected and where you can learn more about the God that created us. At Restoration Springs we're trying to create that kind of place. Join us this Sunday - we think you belong here! |
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Excerpt of "New Sheets" by T. Charles Brantley
Another issue is when Christian wives are jealous of
worldly wives who enjoy the passions of their husbands' loins,
while these Christian wives stay in unsatisfied unions. Dare I
say it is time to take back everything the devil took. Stop lying
to yourself and start enjoying one another to the fullest.
Due to fornication, married couples bring a truckload of
sexual issues into the bedroom. Within this truckload, one may
experience hurts from sex. This is why God forbade sex before
marriage. When a person has sex before marriage, that person
brings in issues that should never have accrued before the
marriage. Therefore, couples have to first get beyond their
former un-married flings so that they can FINALLY deal with
each other sexually.
Sex is always there, and since some couples are talking
about it without direction, they have great frustration because
they can't agree on the hows and whens.
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Spiritual and Sensual
Chapter from "Married Couples: Thou Shalt have Great Sex"
The word sensual relates to the senses (hearing, sight, smell, touch, taste, and equilibrium). You can include
hunger as part of this group as well. When we were born, we were given BOTH spiritual and sensual NEEDS. Both
come from God. Because of this, we have to address both
issues as we grow in grace.
Many have tried to kill the flesh (the sensual side). Nevertheless, if we are honest with ourselves, we know
the flesh rises again. The revelation that I have received is about learning to control and balance these senses. You
may not agree, but people can become strict legalists to the point that they do not address their physical issues. I know
this sentiment may not be popular, but I see overweight
Christian giants who love the Lord but hate their own bodies; we need to learn to love our bodies.
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| computer and text love
Don't waste your texting on a stranger. Do not give a stranger sexy email. These types of texts or emails belong to your spouse. Be a freak at home with your spouse, not outside of the marriage with someone else. Keep the sexy pictures, texts and emails exclusively between you and your spouse. Happy texting and emailing!
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Thank you to my editor-in-chief Tyrone Waters.
Furthermore, if you don't have a church home we invite you to
Restoration Springs Interdenominational Church 1575 Thomaston Avenue in Waterbury.
www.rest.org
If you need baby blessings please contact me at 203-753-7377 or officiate weddings go to - S & M (Strong Marriages)
http://rest.org/SandMplus.htm
Remember In the Book of Ecclesiastes chapter 4 and verse 12 (Bible)
"And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken."
TRANSLATION (With only husband and wife the commitment can easily fail, but with God, husband, and wife the cord of commitment is not quickly broken.)
Pastor TC Brantley
Restoration Springs Interdenominational Church
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Tips for Talking
Realize that no one "wins" an argument.
Compromise is an essential tool to solving problems through communication.
Try to be positive when bringing up sensitive marital problems.
Be a "reflective" listener and make sure you understand what your partner has said.
Feel free to use the "time out" card if the discussion gets too intense.
Make sure your body language, facial expressions and vocal tone are in line with your message.
Be honest, direct and focus on the real issue.
If you can't come up with a definitive solution, at least try to end the conversation on a positive note
Don't ever be rude or talk down to your partner in a discussion about your relationship.
Stay on track.
Recognize when you need outside help to communicate effectively.
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6 Sex Mistakes Women MakeTips for Talking
WebMD explains the 6 biggest sex mistakes women make and reasons why women make them.
- Sex Mistake #1: Not Initiating Sex With Your Partner
According to Les Parrot, professor of psychology at Seattle Pacific University and author of a new book called Crazy Good Sex, failing to initiate sex is one of the biggest mistakes women make.
- Sex Mistake #2: Worrying About What You Look Like
Helen Fisher, PhD, a cultural anthropologist at Rutgers University and author of a new book called Why Him, Why Her, says men don't notice half the things women obsess about anyway.
- Sex Mistake #3: Assuming Sex Is Casual for a Man
In a study being conducted by Fisher and her colleagues of university students engaging in one-night stands, the numbers show that men are just as serious about sex and relationships as women. In fact, more than 50% of women and 52% of men who went into a one-night stand, according to Fisher, reported that they did so hoping to create a longer relationship. One-third of them actually did so. What's the lesson? your partner has said.
- Sex Mistake #4: Believing He's Always Up for SexBe honest, direct and focus on the real issue.
Sure, most teenage boys are ready and willing just about any time you ask, but not true for men. The pressures of everyday life -- family, work, bills -- can zap a man's libido. This comes as a big surprise to many women, and often his lack of interest in sex is something we take personally.
- Sex Mistake #5: Not Giving Him Guidance
Talking very directly about sex, what we like and don't like can make us feel uncomfortable, even with a partner we've been with for a long time and otherwise feel close to, says Parrott. But it's the only way to achieve a satisfying sexual relationship. Don't ever be rude or talk down to your partner in a discussion about your relationship.
- Sex Mistake #6: Getting Upset When He Suggests Something New
After a couple has been together for a while, it's natural to want to spice things up with a little variety. Just because your man wants to try something new doesn't mean he's unhappy with you or your sex life. In short: Don't take it personally.Stay on track.
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Find Shelter at Restoration Springs
Wouldn't it be great if life could always be stress-free and happy? Instead we all encounter everyday storms: the clouds of stress, whirlwinds of despair, the lightning of anger and betrayal - it's enough to make you feel like the forces of nature are conspiring against you. At (church name) we have found a way to maintain peace even in the difficult times. Join us this weekend to explore how you can experience sun in the storms of life.get your life running smoother. With a pit crew (of friends) and instructions from the master designer, the road ahead will look much brighter! So this weekend, pull over and see us! |
Long Haul
When you have cheated or done things to hurt the relationship, you can not expect things to change in one day. It's not going to happen; your partner may take a while to heal from the hurt you have inflicted upon them. As it may have taken you years to do your dirty stuff, it's going to take years to clean up the mess. You have heard me say time and time again, that if you do the crime you must endure the time. Also the non-cheating spouse may express their pain to you; thus, they are projecting a piece of the hurt that you gave them. So again endure, understand that your spouse may express their hurt for a while. Your endurance (while displaying loving empathy) through the rocky transition of gaining your mate's trust back, will show your mate you are sorry and want to restore the relationship back to a solid loving foundation. |
Ho Hos and Whole Chocolate Cake
Some will get this tomorrow. Ho-Hos are only a piece of the cake. When husbands, deal with Ho Hos, Suzie Qs, and funny bone, they are only dealing with a part of a whole cake. The problem with this is that they have the entire cake at home, but would rather deal with the Ho Hos because they are quick and non-committing. Yet in the end, the Ho Hos never can take the place of the chocolate cake. Wives, make sure you create a chocolate cake for your husband with frosting on top (a loving attitude). If you are a sour cake (have a negative attitude), why expect your husband to look forward to your cake. Therefore have a fresh cake for him so he will not walk home but run home for "your chocolate cake". |
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Lingerie Diva:
Too many wives fuse about how the lingerie feels and how uncomfortable it is to sleep with. Number 1: A true husband whose libido is working fine will have them off in no time (men, remember to be a gentlemen first and
foreplay) Number 2: sexy lingerie is not meant to be slept in but to advertise what the wife has "cooking" for her husband. Since the Lingerie is coming
off soon, wives, just have a pair of sleeping garments on the side.
This explains the diva part. Divas are known for changing clothing many times throughout the evening. Wives, what is stopping you from doing the same (In regards to changing lingerie for your husband)? For example wives you can have on lingerie before sex, different lingerie after sex, and another lingerie outfit for when you wake up the next morning. I guarantee if you do this every now and then you will have that diva crown. Also wives, if you are not the best at picking out lingerie, your husband probably will not mind helping you pick out the right lingerie outfit.
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Picnics and pools, fireworks and hotdogs, vacations and baseball. There's nothing like summer weekends to rejuvenate the soul. While you're planning your summer, why not calendar your Sunday mornings at Restoration Springs Interdenominational Church? Here you'll experience a relevant message, upbeat music and fun events for young and old alike. You can build relationships with others in your community and learn to strengthen the bonds within your family. Come enjoy the morning with us!
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Stand
Real men don't run from a fight, especially those fights he has caused himself. When a man sees a battle, a true man faces it without backing down. Yet I see men abandon their wives for an affair with another woman the minute they get into a battle with their wife. This is unacceptable. When you get involved in a fight with your spouse (especially if you create the madness in your home), the solution is not to run, but to fight to restore your marriage into a loving relationship. Being in a relationship is not easy, you have to do those things that you don't want to do to maintain the relationship (such as compromise, or admit you were wrong). Thus, in your marriage there is a balance of standing your ground and compromising in order to keep the marriage together. |
Pastor TC on Radio
Hear Pastor TC with DJ Buck and Nancy on July 2nd 2009 (this week).
To hear previous shows go to Archive
Click to read some of the accomplishments of Pastor TC. All to the glory of God. |
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Get an E-BOOK INSTEAD !
Because of the recession, purchase an E-Book instead of a paper copy of Pastor TC Books. All of his books are in electronic form. Here are advantages of E-Books:
1. Cheaper
2. Can read from your PDA with the right software
3. Will receive immediately upon purchase.
4. Ebooks are searchable. You can easily search for any information in an ebook, instead of turning page after page.
5. An Ebook takes up less space compared to a traditional book.
6. Ebooks can be taken any where
7. As ebooks are delivered through the Internet, there are no packing and shipping expenses
8. Ebooks can be printable and the font can be resized.This is useful for those with poor eyesight.
You can purchase a Bundle or individually
TO PURCHASE E-BOOKS |
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Dealing with Post Sex Regret (Reprint)
No matter what your situation, the experience of post-sex regret provides you with the opportunity to take action - as in strive for a better sex life! Your heart, mind and soul are trying to tell you something, so listen! Ways to combat post-sex regrets include:
1. Seek meaningful sexual relationships
2. Understand your limits
3. Don't fake orgasm
4. Cuddle
5. Understand his need to sleep
6. Engage in afterplay. Instead of hitting the shower or checking your e-mail, relish this time to relax in each other's arms.
7. Talk about changes and training for the next time wo hurting each other feelings.
Complete Article |
Marriage Coitus Highlights
- The more you move the higher the husband and wife libido. Either exercise or lifting weights can bring about the flow of blood to the extremities
- According to the National Bureau of Economic Research, increasing sex from once a month to once a week makes couples feel as happy as they saved $50K
- A good sex diet with your spouse includes: 8 glasses of water, eat six small meals that combine lean protein and complex carbs and get ride of Junk food
- Top 10 foods for boosting your libido: Whole gains, salmon, celery, spinach, avocado, banana, dark chocolate, berries, almonds and pumpkin seeds.
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Excerpt
from "Real Men Don't Have Closets" by T. Charles Brantley
Wives, before you go down the path, make
sure your facts are not emotional. You cannot
go on thought; you must have the facts. In this,
a husband cannot deny the truth. Remember,
he lied this far, and he may lie again. By having
all the cards on the table, he cannot run from
the truth.
In essence, are you ready for the truth? Are
you ready to make the decision that will affect
your family forever? Yes, ladies, the ball is in
your court when your husband spills the beans.
The decision may be to stay, or your decision
may be to leave. The only words I can give you
is think hard on your decision before making it.
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BEST
This information came from a book called "how to save your marriage alone" by Ed Wheat, MD. The acronym "BEST" stands for:
B = Bless your Spouse
E = Edify Your Spouse
S = Share with Your Spouse
T = Touch Your Spouse
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Excerpt from "Successful Marriages for Successful Men" by T. Charles Brantley
Truthfulness
Brothers, we must come clean. Without a doubt, no woman wants a man who lies to her. In no way can this be compromised. When she asks you a question,
be straight up and answer her. If you hide
something, she will surely figure it out. God gave women another sense, and my God, they use it to
their advantage. Someone said that women are better liars than men. Upon this fact, man, we still have to do right even if they do wrong to us. This is
why you must speak the truth always.
You should rather have your wife leave due to truth (revelation) about you than have your wife leave you because you spoke a lie. In addition, I know, men, it is hard at times to speak the truth because in the back of our minds we are wondering about the
consequences that our wives will give to us. We
must fight this true demon. If you do not fight that "what if" spirit, it will come on you like a stack of bricks and surely hurt you in ways unknown. I
believe we get our lying spirit from our father
Adam. When God asked Adam, he blamed his wife for the sin. We have to fight that same natural
impulse. We have to muster up the truth and speak it to her 25/8.
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