When should I say thank you?
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In the spirit of Thanksgiving, we're going to take a minute to reflect on thanks.
"Thank you for sitting quietly during the assembly."
"Thank you for coming to class on time."
"Thank you for listening when I'm talking to you."
These are all things you can hear teachers say on any given day in just about any given school. On the surface, they seem like examples of modeling politeness. But dig a little deeper. What are these teachers really thanking the students for?
They're thanking them for doing what is expected of them.
While expressing thanks in this way probably doesn't hurt children, it also doesn't say much for our expectations of them. It implicitly sends the message that kids are so inclined to disappoint, we should be grateful when they don't. In reality kids don't ever want to be disappointing, but what school asks them to do is often so boring or irrelevant their "misbehaviors" are simply reactions to not being taken seriously.
Imagine what would happen if we heard more statements like these in schools:
"Thank you for giving me a new way to think about this problem."
"Thank you for helping your classmate understand the assignment."
"Thank you for resolving that conflict together."
In your life outside of school you say thank you in response to acts of generosity or kindness. You expect someone to say thank you for covering her class when she's out sick, but you'd be insulted if your boss thanked you for listening quietly during a staff meeting. Why should this be any different for your students?
What can you do to make acts of kindness and generosity happen more often in your classroom?
Kids learn a whole lot more from you than just the content you teach. You're a role model for the adults they'll grow up to be. Even something as simple as when you say "thank you" can send a life-long message about demonstrating generosity of spirit, or expecting gratitude simply for doing what you know is right.
Inspired Teacher Homework:
How do you encourage kindness in your classroom? Please send Jenna
a short description of your strategies. If your idea is selected for
inclusion in the next newsletter, we'll send you some great Inspired
Teaching gear!
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Teacher Resources
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Five Reasons to Stop Saying, "Good Job"
Now that you're reexamining the words you use with your kids, consider this article by Alfie Kohn that reflects on the use of "good job" at home and in the classroom.
28 Ways to say "Thank You"
'Tis the season for gratitude. Consider teaching your students how to express their thanks in 28 languages of the world!
Praise in the Classroom
This research digest gives teachers new ways to look at how what they say to students meshes with their goals in the classroom.
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