Yes, it's that time of year again. I never get used to it, either. We are cramming so much into so little time... The pressures mount well past the boiling point.

The social schedule: parties, soirées, family teas, Hanukkah invites, Christmas dinners etc. etc.

The work schedule is no help: everyone is trying to

a) leave the office as quickly as possible and

b) get some truly urgent last-minute thing done by people who are more concerned with a).

At home, there's the party preparation, decorating and hosting senile, Depends©-wearing great Auntie Grizelda etc. etc. let alone the usual household chores (thank God for global warming - at least the snow shoveling is becoming less frequent).

Let's swirl in travel. I'm pretty sure that the Corporate, Bean-Counting Weasels running the Airlines have the customer service people muzzled and tied up in a back room for the entire month. The old days of "Coffee, tea or me" are long gone. Just try to get a plane to actually be at the gate listed on your boarding pass - let alone board behind some tub-o-lard [The polite term is: 'circumferentially challenged' - Ed.] lady with caterwauling off-spring who ends up paying for an extra seat because she needs an 'O' ring and steel cables to strap in for launch. [Careful there, you are only a couple of Twinkies shy of buying two seats yourself! - Ed.] Swirl in the $5.50/hr. Cro-Magnons employed by the TSA, The rugby team/luggage handling thugs and it's not a wonder people are trying to smuggle guns aboard - so they can shoot themselves.

Then, there is the shopping. I don't know about you, but I'd much rather have a root canal with no anesthetic than fight my way through the sweaty hordes and snot-nosed, screaming rug-rats at the mall only to end up stuck behind a woman in her quest for the Holy Grail: searching her carpet-bag-size purse for a nickel so as to make exact change at the checkout... Arrgh.

Well Brothers, to all of the above there is, of course, a Zete answer. For over thirty years, the Brothers from Theta Xi have had a respite from the madness. It's called suicide shopping. The concept is simple: on the last Friday before Christmas, bring 'Santa's list' to a previously arranged 'establishment' (in Toronto's case, The Pickle Barrel in the Yonge/Eglinton Centre mall). As more and more Brothers join the festivities, the event takes on a life of its own. Here and there, a hardy Zete ventures out into the throngs, makes a surreptitious purchase, and dashes back to the 'safety' of fellow Zetes. Most manage to get pretty much everything on their lists. One year, an unfortunate Zete did not prepare very well. Every single member of his family got a very nice print and frame from the framing store directly across the aisle from our watering hole. NOTE: He actually started shopping at 5:45 PM before the stores closed at 6:00 PM and, as a bonus for his lassitude, was declared the winner and suicide shopping was over for the year.

So, there you have it: turn a silk purse into a sow's ear and rejoice and be Merry with your fellow Brothers! Happy ChrismaHanuKwanzakah to one and all; and to all, a good night.

A word about Ed. More than one Brother who reads this epistle has mentioned to me that they sometimes find the column somewhat amusing but they really can't stand Ed. [It serves you right. If you were a gifted writer, you would not need me. - Ed.]  By way of explanation, see this link on Harold Ross: http://grammar.about.com . If you can't figure it out after that, you're obviously an Engineer!

Every fall for the past several years, the DC Elders Association has held a scotch or wine tasting to introduce area elders to new varieties and to provide yet another venue where we can hang out together. 

This year, at the suggestion of a brother who had recently been exposed to the ancient beverage, we opted to sample a full round of Madeiras - and actually learned a thing or two in the process.  As it turns out, our country's founding fathers celebrated the signing of the Declaration of Independence with a Madeira toast, and much of the Madeira that is still around today from the 1700s was from Thomas Jefferson's personal collection! 

But fun facts aside, the event proved as always that area elders from chapters all over the country can always have a good time when we gather together.  As for future years' tasting events, we're taking suggestions now - just email our Tasting Event Coordinator, Mike Flynn.

In other news, the DC Elders Association and the DC area undergrad chapters wrapped up the first leg of the Capital Cup competition with playoff flag football games played the weekend before Thanksgiving.  Details for Capital Cup events this Spring will be coming out soon, so stay tuned to dcelders.org and your inbox for news about kickball, dodgeball, and maybe a third random sport thrown in for fun.  As it stands, the DC Elders remain in contention to defend their title from last year, but solid turnouts and performances from the undergrads could derail those hopes.

On December 20th, the Zeta Psi NYC RAWC (Regional Alumni Wine Club) had its holiday dinner at Keens Steak House on the west side of Manhattan.  With our largest turnout in almost a year, we enjoyed great wine, superior steaks (Mutton and T-Bones), the usual steakhouse sides, and of course the camaraderie that exists when Brothers get together. 

If you would like to join us at one of our monthly dinners, please email Stephen at: Stephen.Halperin@gmail.com

Brothers, please join us in coming together for a post-holiday celebration. As the holiday season winds itself down and life returns to normal, we invite all brothers in the New York area to join us for our monthly happy hour on Thursday January 13th at 7:30pm at Jack Demsey's in Midtown.

But this month, we will be looking to repeat the success of our last holiday Scotch tasting. We can guarantee a good time will be had by all that attend. So to all on the NYC RAC mailing list, please look forward to the RSVP over the holiday break, and to any not on the mailing list, feel free to reach out to RAC President Anthony Abbate at ama332@gmail.com to learn more.