IS TABLE ETIQUETTE NECESSARY OR IS IT OVER
RATED? I THINK IT IS A PERSONAL
PREFERENCE AND A LIFE STYLE CHOICE. FORMALITY
DOES NOT COME EASILY TO AMERICANS. WE
HAVE A TENDENCY TO OVER SIMPLIFY EVERYTHING,
WHICH GOES ALONG WITH OUR FAST PACED STYLE
OF LIVING
AND EATING. TABLE ETIQUETTE ON THE OTHER HAND
HAS BEEN DEVELOPED BY OTHER CULTURES WHO
HAD THE TIME TO ENJOY THE DINING EXPERIENCE,
TO DELIGHT IN THEIR FOOD AND PARTAKE IN
FELLOWSHIP.
AT L?AUBERGE WE DO SEASONAL DINNER CLASSES
THAT ARE ELABORATE AND VERGE ON FORMAL
DINING. THE TABLE IS SET FOR FINE DINING
REPLETE
WITH RARE CHINA, EMBROIDERED TABLE LINEN,
CRYSTAL STEMWARE AND STERLING SILVER
CUTLERY. MY GUESTS MOST OFTEN ASK ME THESE
TWO QUESTIONS. THE FOLLOWING WILL HELP CALM
YOUR NERVES AND FINESSE ANY DINING EXPERIENCE.
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IT SEEMED TO ME, AS I WAS GROWING UP IN A
STRICT FRENCH FAMILY, THAT THERE WERE TOO
MANY TABLE RULES OF CONDUCT, SOME ON THE
VERGE OF
BEING RIDICULOUS, AND IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO
REMEMBER WITHOUT GETTING IN TROUBLE.
WHEN I WAS A GIRL I LIVED IN FRENCH MOROCCO. I
WAS RAISED IN A FRENCH/ARAB CULTURE BY FRENCH
COLONIZERS WHO CAME FROM THE GERMAN SIDE OF
FRANCE, WHICH FURTHER COMPLICATED MY
LESSONS IN DINING ETIQUETTE. WHEN I LOOK BACK,
SOME OF THESE CODES OF CONDUCT MAKE SENSE
AND OTHERS
WELL, JUST SEEM SILLY. I WONDER WHERE THEY
CAME FROM AND WHO THOUGHT OF THESE RULES?
ONE EXAMPLE THAT COMES TO MIND IS MY
ALSACIENNE GRANDMERE SCOLDING ME FOR FOLDING
MY NAPKIN NEATLY WHEN WE WERE INVITED TO
DINE AT A FRIEND?S HOME. EVIDENTLY, IF YOU
FOLDED YOUR NAPKIN NEATLY YOU WERE SILENTLY
PUTTING THE HOSTESS IN AN EMBARRASSING
POSITION. SHE WOULD READ THIS AS A MESSAGE
THAT YOU EXPECTED TO BE INVITED BACK
AGAIN. ?A MON DIEU!? NEVER PUT THE HOSTESS IN
A SITUATION THAT MIGHT BE AWKWARD FOR HER,
OR
WHERE SHE MIGHT BE FORCED TO SAY ?NO? TO
YOU. DON?T ASK TO BE INVITED BACK, DON?T FOLD
YOUR NAPKIN; DO NOT ASK FOR SECONDS ETC.,
ETC.
JUST
DON?T ASK! THIS WAS ALSO THE ERA WHEN
CHILDREN WERE TO BE SEEN BUT NOT HEARD. NOW
DAYS, A HOSTESS MIGHT ACTUALLY BE
COMPLIMENTED THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO COME
BACK OR, ASK FOR SECONDS. THEY SAY THAT EVEN
MARK TWAIN WROTE THAT THE GREATEST
COMPLIMENT THAT CAN BE GIVEN IS ?A SEND
HELPING, PLEASE?.
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THIS IS A LOADED
QUESTION AND THERE PROBABLY HAVE BEEN BOOKS
WRITTEN JUST ON THIS WINE/TABLE ETIQUETTE
QUESTION ALONE.
CHOOSE A GLASS THAT IS CLEAR IN COLOR, YOU
WANT TO SEE THE TRUE COLOR OF THE WINE. THE
TYPE OF STEMWARE, THIS ?CHOICE FUSS?, I TEND
TO SEE AS MUCH A
DO ABOUT NOTHING. ANY
DECENT WINE GLASS WILL DO.
SIP THE WINE FIRST YOURSELF. THIS RULE DATES
BACK TO THE MIDDLE AGES WHEN KINGS WERE BEING
POISONED AND THEIR CUP BEARER, PRECURSOR TO
THE MODERN DAY SOMMELIER/WINE STEWARD, WAS
ASKED TO TASTE THE WINE IN FRONT OF THE KING.
IF HE DIDN?T DIE THAN IT WAS SAFE TO DRINK. IT
IS STILL A GOOD IDEA TO SIP IT YOURSELF FIRST,
AS IT IS NOT UNHEARD OF TO HAVE THE WINE
CHANGE FLAVOR FROM THE TIME YOU BOUGHT IT AT
THE
WINE STORE. THIS WAY,
YOU CAN ALWAYS OPEN ANOTHER BOTTLE THAT
HAS NOT TURNED (KNOWN IN THE WINE INDUSTRY
AS MADERIZED).
SERVE YOUR GUESTS FROM THEIR RIGHT SIDE IF YOU
ARE STANDING UP OR IF YOU ARE SITTING DOWN
SERVE FROM THEIR LEFT TO RIGHT WITH THE LARGE
GLASS FIRST. THE EXCEPTION IS THE WATER
GOBLET WHICH IS always THE LARGEST AND THE
FIRST. IF YOU ARE FILLING THE WINE GLASS TO THE
TOP YOU ARE MISSING THE POINT. SERVE ENOUGH
FOR THE COURSE, WITH THE OPTION OF REFILLING
IF NECESSARY. KEEP MOVING DOWN THE LINE OF
GLASSES IF YOU HAVE OTHER WINES WITH THE
DIFFERENT COURSES.
OKAY, SO NOW YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO WHEN IT?S
YOUR TURN TO SERVE WINE. LET?S NOW TALK ABOUT
THE TABLE SETTING.
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| Which fork do I use? |
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THE CUTLERY IS USED FROM THE ?OUTSIDE? MOVING
IN. THE DESSERT AND COFFEE SPOONS ARE MEANT
TO BE ON TOP AND IN BETWEEN YOUR PLATE AND
THE GLASSES
THE PLATE SETTINGS ARE USED FROM THE TOP
LAYER DOWN TO THE OTHER DISHES. DEPENDING ON
THE TABLE SETTING STYLE, THE SALAD COULD BE
THE DISH ON THE VERY TOP OR ON THE LEFT OF THE
OTHER PLATES. THE SALAD DISH IS LARGER THAN
THE BREAD PLATE, NOT TO CONFUSE ONE WITH THE
OTHER, AS THE BREAD BUTTER DISH IS SMALLER AND
HIGHER ON THE TABLE THAN THE SALAD PLATE AND
CLOSER TO THE WINE GLASSES.
WHEN IN DOUBT, ALWAYS LOOK AND SEE WHAT
EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING. YOU?RE NOT CHEATING,
YOU'RE ACTUALLY DOING WHAT YOU ARE BEST
KNOW FOR, USING YOUR AMERICAN INGENUITY!
?VOILA? YOU NOW HAVE THE BASICS THAT WILL GET
YOU THROUGH ANY SCARY FORMAL DINING
EXPERIENCE.
BONNE APPETIT!
NANCY DOUGLAS; PROPRIETRESS
L'AUBERGE AT THE EDGE OF SEATTLE
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