SMP: A black belt in grammar too

Run-on's

May 2010

                Some sentences are so long and filled with so many unrelated ideas they make your head hurt.  Chances are you're looking at a run-on or one of their equally problematic cousins, the comma splice or the fused sentence.  Not to pick on the lawyers [though you are such easy prey, poor dears], but as a species you are infamous for writing long, run-on sentences.  There can be no redemption from your sin by simply adding a comma or the conjunction, and, or even the hackneyed, including but not limited to.   

Spotting the run-on

                Recognize run-ons when you see two or more independent clauses [complete sentences] joined without benefit of appropriate punctuation or a conjunction.  It's true that many run-ons begin life as one colossal sentence.  However, this is not always the case.  Here's a four-word run-on:  I sip Flannigan quaffs.  See the two independent thoughts?  Fix it by adding a conjunction:  I sip the sacramental wine but Flannigan quaffs it down.      

                Some writers try hiding their run-ons behind a jungle of commas and semicolons.  They must think that using such fancy punctuation makes it appear they know what they're doing.  After all, who are we to question one with the cajones to bring out such heavy artillery?  Alas, nothing escapes the grammar vigilante.

Remedies

                If you suspect you might have a run-on, on your hands, just disconnect the two independent clauses and grant them their own sentence:

It is nearly 7:30 Vespers cannot start before Father Flannigan opens the sacramental wine.

Becomes:

It is nearly 7:30.  Vespers cannot start before Father Flannigan opens the sacramental wine.

 Alternatively, you could put the semicolon properly to work:

It is nearly 7:30; Vespers cannot start before Father Flannigan opens the sacramental wine.

You could also use a conjunction to coordinate the two thoughts:

It is nearly 7:30 but Vespers cannot start before Father Flannigan opens the sacramental wine.  [Truth is if it's already 7:30 Flannigan has had that wine open for a good two hours already].

Caution

1. Going commando:  Be careful when one independent clause makes a command.  For example:  A command can cause a punctuation trap don't fall into it.  See how it runs on?  Instead, break up the two thoughts:  A command can cause a punctuation trap.  Don't fall into it.
2. Pronouns have their limits:  Pronouns such as I, you, he, she, it, we, they, this, or that can give you a false sense of security.  For example:  Pronouns refer to something that you've just said that's how a pronoun creates a feeling of unity between sentences.  See the two different clauses?  Try it this way:  Pronouns refer to something that you've just said. That's how a pronoun creates a feeling of unity between sentences
3. Lawyers again:  Finally, there's no excuse for copying bad legal boiler plate.  So many people are afraid they'll inadvertently change the meaning.  Nonsense.  At $500/hour and up lawyers should produce work that is grammatically correct.  I say let's stop the legal devils from their assault on the English language in their tracks.  Insist their work for you be understandable to the lay public and be grammatically accurate.  Let me hear what push back you get.