The Family Dinner...it's one of the greatest tools parents have in their "raising healthy kids" arsenal. Ongoing research shows that positive behaviors are fostered through the ritual of sharing the evening meal together. 

Children who have frequent family dinners (five to seven per week) grow up with a healthier self-identity, have a positive outlook on life, perform better academically and have stronger relationships with their parents. Additionally, family dinners have been linked to lower risk of obesity, substance abuse, and eating disorders.

The benefits of spending time together at the dinner table can start with shared meal prep, then include some round-the-table conversation, and end with cleaning up the kitchen together. It might sound a little like Beaver Cleaver's home, but the reality is this: family dinners make a difference.

Check out these links for ideas you can use and products that help with dinnertime conversations:

Websites:

·      The Family Dinner ...Connect with your kids, one meal at a time.

·      The Family Dinner Project ...a grass roots movement about food, fun and conversation. 

Books/Activities:

·      *150 Quick Questions to Get Your Kids Talking, by Mary DeMuth  

·      TableTopics Family Edition 

·      Family Time Fun Dinner Games  

A few final suggestions: 

·      Enjoy dinner as a family at least five times a week. Making family dinners a priority may not be easy, but it's well worth your effort. 

·      Everybody shares; everybody listens...without interrupting, teasing or criticizing.

·      No electronics allowed (cell phones, iPods, laptops, TV in the background, etc.), except some great music to help set the tone.  

 * This month's giveaway!

Interested in recent research details? Check out The Importance of Family Dinners, by The National Coalition of Substance Abuse at Columbia University. 

Lost in Translation 

When you get mad, do you successfully communicate your anger or does rational thought fly out the window when you fly off the handle?

Prior to full-blown anger, something occurs and serves as the last straw. Perhaps you're struggling with a disobedient child or frustrated because your husband is late and it's Girls' Night Out. You might even be crying over spilled milk. Then, in a split-second, your brain processes the event, cross-comparing it with a lifetime of ingrained beliefs and expectations, and determines an emotional response. 

Next in the chain reaction you begin dealing with your anger. And, unless you've got positive anger management skills at the ready, it's easy to slip into habitual patterns...unhealthy, inappropriate patterns. 

Like what? Belittling or disrespectful comments. Too much volume or too much attitude. Blaming others. Getting physical (not in the Olivia Newton John sort of way). Alternatively, using the silent treatment. Storming out of a room. Blatantly ignoring or avoiding others.    

Behavior like this undermines your effort to communicate legitimate feelings of anger. Others clearly see you're angry, but your behavior prevents them from understanding why.  Your message gets lost in translation.  

We all want to be heard -- and understood. Begin bridging the communication gap by recognizing any unproductive habits you've developed to manage your anger. Next, choose a healthy action-step to gain control over angry emotions.  

• Breathe deeply 
• Count to ten  
• Use affirming self-talk

    (I can overcome this...I choose to be calm...I will not hurt my family)  

• Visualize a peaceful environment, like a meadow, a mountain lake at dawn, or a deserted beach at sunset.
• Take a short walk.

Remember, old habits die hard, so do your best to practice patience and give yourself a break when you find yourself using those former, unproductive strategies.

 For archived Anger Management Tips by Teresa, click on the underlined link.    

Mary DeMuth is an incredibly gifted writer of fiction and non-fiction books, with an all-star line-up of parenting books. Her latest release, 150 Quick Questions to Get Your Kids Talking, will have you enjoying more two-way conversations and a deeper connection with your children.

Mary was tired of family dialogue based only on schedules, chores, or bedtime negotiations. Inspired by Jesus' meaningful interactions with others, she shaped this great resource to help parents develop discussion skills, nurture relational talks with kids, and build strong families in the process.

To keep the chats going, Mary offers 150 engaging conversation starters to reconnect families at dinner time, while in the car, at bedtime, or anytime that two or more are gathered.

Here are some of the questions that will spark conversations: 

What has been the happiest day of your life so far?

How did you sense God's presence this week?

If you could give your best friend any gift, what would it be? Why?

Creative questions and guidance help families explore faith, compassion, memories, and hopes. Parents, grandparents, teachers, youth leaders, and kids will discover the entertainment and connection that unfolds once the talking begins.

I've got three copies to giveaway, so be sure to enter!

Entry deadline:  Saturday, March 26th

Please email entries to teresa@teresadrake.com with "March giveaway"

in the subject line. Winners will be notified via email.