Practice random acts of kindness...

I agree with the sentiment, but am disheartened that kindness seems no longer second nature. Our me-focused society has little regard for true kindness and its necessary role in our communities.   

Now's the time to discover new ways to show kindness, to everyone, including those we don't know, and those we don't like. Yep. If we're to teach our children about kindness, they need to learn it's for everyone. Kindness doesn't discriminate.

Adults:

• Give your children a loving smile to start their day.
• Listen purposefully to others.
• Share the road, the aisle, the sidewalk, the corridor. Don't take your half out of the middle. 
• Reach out to newbies (new neighbors, new families at your church or school, new moms in your support group).
• Respond to discovered needs of others. (Buy groceries, send a text or call to say hello, offer to provide a ride or babysit at the last minute., etc.)
• Spend dedicated time with each of your children.
• Be generous with forgiveness.
• Offer kind words, hugs and kisses to your spouse.
• Deal with the pile of _______ (fill in the blank) that your spouse has been asking you to take care of since you can't remember when.  
• Write an encouraging note to family or friends.
• Remember to call, email or drop by when people you know are celebrating special days.

Children:

• Hugs and smiles for parents when you wake up.
• Share treats, toys and games with playdates and friends.
• Invite others to play.
• Do not poke fun or tease others; it's bullying in its mildest form.
• Be an encourager.
• Make someone laugh.
• Share a hug when a friend is sad or hurt.
• Clean your room.
• Help others with chores and projects.
• Use your manners.
• Call your grandparents.

a   a   a   a   a   a   a   a   a   a   a   a 

  

When you're angry, are you driven to let others know how you feel? To state your case, or justify your situational response? If you're expressive or domineering, you're probably nodding your head, vehemently.

But, just because you feel the need, should you proceed? See me shaking my head, vigorously.

Expressing ourselves is ill-advised when anger is the emotion du jour. While we might feel relieved, others are left to deal with the verbal fireball we just set in motion. Things we say and do in our moment of madness are generally more harmful than helpful.

 

However, if you're the type that simply must be heard in order to move on, follow these simple rules: 

 

1.  Go slow & speak softly

Intentionally pacing your comments gives you more control. Counterproductive thoughts have less chance of slipping out when you focus on delivering a clear message, not a clever blow. A calm voice will help prevent an scream-fest, and also encourage others to listen to your message, rather than prepare their three-point counterattack. 

 

2. Express feelings without assigning blame

Even if you have a bona fide reason to blame someone else, stick to "I-statements" if you wish to be heard. I-statements are non-confrontational and let you explain your feelings without putting others on defense. ("I feel angry when you ______ [fill in the blank]).

 

3.  Stick to the issue at hand

This is not the time to bring out The List. You know, the Everything You've Ever Done That Makes Me Mad list. Once someone figures out your sharing is just another jaunt down memory lane -- where he has done nothing right --  the party's over. Bye-bye. He's outta there. Plus, you can say goodbye to any chance of ever getting another shot at giving him a piece of your mind...uh, I mean, letting him know what upsets you so. 

For archived Anger Management Tips by Teresa, click on the underlined link.   

 

 

 

 

   a   a   a   a   a   a   a   a   a   a   a   a   

 

Websites Worth a Look   

 

 

44 Ways to Recharge Now  A must-read blog post for everyone, especially moms! Grab an idea and go! 

Feeling a little blue lately?

Have you been a little sad? Wondering if you're depressed? Depression can affect anyone, and is very treatable. Easy-to-read links below offer clear information to help you identify symptoms of depression and seek relief:
 

Quiz: "Am I Depressed?"                      Helping Someone Who's Depressed 

  

Signs & Symptoms of Depression       Men and Depression    

 

Seasonal Affective Disorder                 Male Postpartum Depression (Who knew?)

(Winter Depression)

   

 

  a   a   a   a   a   a   a   a   a   a   a   a