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| Simple Truths for Authentic Living May 2010
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Greetings!
I'm convinced. Mothering is
the toughest job in the world. It can also seem like
the most thank-less, as well.
Sometimes we get hyper-focused trying to remember parenting do's and don'ts, hoping to avoid the dreaded "shoulda, coulda, wouldas." In doing that it's easy to forget the one thing that makes it all
worthwhile. That's the unconditional love from our little ones, and not
so little ones; our family, into whom we pour our heart, only to discover it mirrored back to us in the sweetness of their smiles at the break of
each new day.
Life began with waking up and loving my
mother's face. ~ George Eliot
This month's newsletter celebrates Moms with a contest for a pamper-me prize and a collection of obscure and funny quotes on moms and motherhood. (I opted for something different than the standard lines on hearts and roses, and hope you enjoy the humor and wit.) Of course, you'll find an anger management tip to help you, and your family, identify and own your feelings -- especially in the midst of chaos and strife.
Wishing you a Happy Mother's Day!
Warm Regards,
Teresa
TeresaDrake.com
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Honoring Moms & Motherhood...
A Quote of a Different Kind
There never was a child so lovely but his
mother was glad to get him asleep.
~ Ralph Waldo
Emerson
If there were no schools to take the children
away from home part of the time, the insane asylum would be filled with
mothers. ~ Edgar
Watson Howe
V
The world is full of women blindsided by the
unceasing demands of motherhood, still flabbergasted by how a job can be
terrific and torturous.
~ Anna Quindlen
V
To describe my mother would be to write about
a hurricane in its perfect power.
~ Maya Angelou
V
Motherhood is like Albania -- you can't trust
the descriptions in the books, you have to go there. ~ Marni Jackson
V
A mother's love for her child is like nothing
else in the world. It knows no law, no pity; it dares all things and crushes
down remorselessly all that stands in its path.
~ Agatha Christie
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Using "I" Statements to Express Your Feelings
Watching my two boys fight, or listening to them bicker and
argue, generally leaves me thinking about their conflict management
skills, or their lack thereof.
After the wave of frustration and the crush of guilt subside, I begin frantically making a mental list of
everything I want them to learn: manners, courtesy, respect, honor, humility,
responsibility, tact, etc. Oh, the list can go on and on, but allowing that kind of
run-on never produces anything worthwhile; just stress.
 Teaching our children positive ways to identify and share their feelings is one of the great gifts we can offer. Notice I
said "positive." Without our dedicated effort to monitor the way we model this
skill, our children may witness and embrace less than acceptable methods; like
screaming, blaming, name calling, slamming doors, throwing things, biting,
hitting, running away... I think you've got the point.
This is where "I" Statements come into play. "I" Statements
(the opposite of "You" Statements) are excellent tools for
identifying and owning your feelings, responding non-aggressively to upsetting
circumstances and stating your feelings...all without placing blame.
"You" Statements vs. "I" Statements
You make
me mad when you ruin my things.
I feel angry when
my things get broken.
You made us late by
playing with your toys instead of getting ready.
I am frustrated
because I was late to my appointment.
You're always bugging
me. Stop it!
I'd like some quiet
time please.
Your toys are
everywhere and I'm sick of looking at them!
I am disappointed
there are toys scattered throughout the family room.
According to Culture Change in Practice, an I-statement has
four parts. (However, by simply starting with an "I" -- even without four parts -- you removes the
defensive/blaming tone from the beginning of your conversation.)
1. "I
feel ____________ " (taking responsibility for one's own feelings)
2. "when
you _________ " (stating the behavior that is a problem)
3. "because ___________"
(what it is about the behavior or its consequences that one objects to)
4. "I'd
appreciate it if you would ______________ " (offering a preferred alternative to the
behavior)
I-Statements don't come naturally, unless you've been practicing them for a while. Why not start now? Learn more about I-Statements by simply clicking here.
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May Giveaway
Something to Pamper Mom...That's You!
From the True Blue Spa product line at Bath & Body Works...
** Shea Cashmere Shower Cream **
 cashmere extract and rich shea butter, this skin-caressing shower cream blankets you in a sensual, soothing lather. The ultra-moisturizing formula leaves skin feeling as soft as cashmere and lightly fragranced with a creamy vanilla scent that's both fresh and comforting."
 I've got three to give away...so be sure you enter to win a chance to pamper yourself this month! Entry deadline: Tuesday, May 25th. Please email entries to
teresa@teresadrake.com with "Pamper Me" in the subject
line. Winner will be notified via email.
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Feelings are everywhere -- be gentle. ~
J. Masai "Simple Truths for Authentic Living" is a monthly email newsletter featuring items of interest to moms. If you received this email from a friend and would like to receive your own, please click on the "Join My Mailing List" icon to the right. Thank you. |
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