| No. 74. On modesty and being British |
|
Isn't it so typically British that while everybody knows who founded Microsoft and Facebook, few have heard of the quiet Englishman who invented the World Wide Web? But modesty, a national value, underwent a severe challenge on the opening night of the Olympics. A good time to take a closer look?
Don't forget, if you or your friends would like to view past tips, you can do so by clicking here. And if you'd like to forward these tips to a colleague or friend just click below.
If you need to change your email address, or would like to unsubscribe, please scroll to the bottom of this email and click on the appropriate link.
|
|
We British like to be modest. Immodesty, or even worse, boastfulness, is a crime punishable by social ostracism. Any primary school child will tell you that.
We like to be modest about money. If someone says, what a great jacket you're wearing, we like to say 'Oh thanks! I got it half price in the sale at M&S.' Or, 'Do you like it? Only �5 from Oxfam!' It's much less likely that we will say, 'Thank you, I got it from my couturier in Bond St. Only �2000, can you believe it?'
Even if it's true.
As Kate Fox says in her brilliant anthropological study 'Watching the English',
'When you have undeniably paid full price for something undeniably expensive, you should ideally just keep quiet about it.'
We like to be modest about our achievements. When praised, we like to deflect. Bradley Wiggins, when congratulated on being the first Brit ever to win the Tour de France, said 'Well, you know, I couldn't have done it without my team-mates.' Or we like to underplay. 'Oh it was nothing, a fluke really.' Or we like to make a joke about it. 'You should have seen my last attempt!'
So where does all this leave us when, suddenly, we find ourselves in the international spotlight and Danny Boyle and co put on a show of extraordinary extravagance and unabashed self-glorification?
The answer is, for many, somewhat uncomfortable. And exposed, ambivalent, confused. But also pleased. Because although we may have cringed at the blatant flouting of what Fox calls 'our unwritten codes of modesty, restraint, diffidence, polite egalitarianism and general hypocrisy,' actually we rather like being seen as great. Who doesn't? Did we really want something quiet and unassuming and not nearly as good as the Chinese? Of course not. And in fact, when brought face to face with it, we are rather proud of our music, our countryside, our heritage, our children's literature, our humour, and yes, our NHS.
Very proud even.
Modesty is undeniably a wonderful thing. It's a gift that one person gives to another. By engaging it you allow other people to feel comfortable in your presence, however important or rich or clever or funny or successful you are. But it shouldn't be confused with thinking you're no good, or with hiding your qualities. If you have a habit of minimizing your talents and achievements there's a danger that you start to believe what you're saying, and that doesn't serve anyone.
'Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate,
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?"
Actually, who am I not to be?'
Marianne Williamson, as quoted in Nelson Mandela's inaugural speech 1994
Try this:
If you were going to put on a truly extravagant ceremony to celebrate you, your life, your achievements, and your talents and qualities, what would it be like?
Enjoy! In secret, obviously.
Anita
|
Please feel free to use any of the material in these emails. I just ask, if you do, that you provide my name and a reference to my tips and website www.workinglives.co.uk
If you enjoyed this tip, do forward it to your friends.
Until next time
Anita
|
|
|
|
|
|
How to shine at interviews: A guide to preparation
Giving yourself the best chance of success
Going for an interview is not too different from going to an exam, except that only one person can pass. If you're wonderfully articulate and have sailed through every interview you've been to, then you probably don't need this. But if you get anxious, have not got jobs you think you should, or are going for a really important job that you don't want to leave to chance, then this programme gives you everything you need to ensure a thorough preparation.
Just don't leave it too late!
Price �10.00
How to shine at medical interviews: A guide to preparation
A special version for doctors.
|
Finding Square Holes:
Discover who you really are and find the perfect career. �9.99
'While a good book can never be quite as interactive as a good friend, this one is the next best thing - a practical, thought-provoking, advice-filled guide to creating a career that fits you both as you are and as you'd like to be.'
Michael Neill, Trainer, author and coach.
The Finding Square Holes e-Workbook �7.99
|
Psychological Type Self Assessment Programme E-book: �12.00
A fast way to increase your emotional intelligence is to learn about your personal style and understand how you differ from other people.
This self-assessment e-programme will help you to do just that. Based on Jung's theory of
psychological type, later developed by Myers and Briggs, it takes you through a simple but thorough process to discover your type.
|
|
Know Yourself: the individual's guide to career development in healthcare
A health-oriented version of Finding Square Holes, this user-friendly guide will help health professionals take control of their careers. By involving the reader in a personal journey of positive reflection the book focuses on abilities, enjoyment and personal satisfaction in the workplace, then based on this new-found knowledge, offers advice on practical ways forward.
'If you work through this book I can guarantee that by the end of it two things will have happened - you will be in a much better position to plan and execute your future career, and you will feel a lot better than you do now' AH
To order a copy, click here
To order a copy of the accompanying workbook, click here
| |
