| Over-extended? Here's a plan for relief |
It's easy to get yourself into a hectic schedule these days. What's difficult is trying to get back out. But sometimes all it takes is knowing what your priorities are and having the strength to enforce them.
If you're like most women, you hate the idea of "bailing" on someone or appearing "flaky" so you stay committed and keep trudging through even when your heart is no longer in it.
If you need some breathing room in your schedule, like I often do, but you're not sure how to cut back, see where the following principles apply, pray for strength, and then apply them!
 1. Set Some Boundaries: Most of us live without margin in our lives. When a need comes up, we run to fill it. But we need to put "open" and "closed" hours around our schedule. My husband is a pastor and if he didn't make it clear that Friday is his day off, he'd never have a day off. Most of the time, people's needs can wait so that he gets a little time to himself and with his family to refuel and re-energize. Set boundaries around your personal life by determining how early in the morning you are willing to take calls on your home phone and cellphone. (Rarely is a call from work a life or death situation -- although your boss might think it is at the moment!) Make it clear to those you work with, as well as friends and extended family, when your day off is and what hours are unacceptable to call. (And if you don't have a day off, make sure you start taking one!) People won't respect your boundaries unless you have some in the first place.
2. Establish 'Rest & Refuel' Zones: Are you running constantly so that by the end of the day you are completely wiped out? If so, that's insane. You will burn out and dry up if you don't establish some "rest and refuel" zones in your life. Think about what makes you feel refreshed and then incorporate that into your day, or at least your week! I make a point of walking the small (man-made) lake in a nearby residential neighborhood a couple times a week because it affords me some relaxing time outdoors. On days when I don't have that luxury, I'll listen to some soul-refreshing praise music while driving or plan to arrive somewhere a few minutes early and do some quiet reading while I wait. Exercise recharges me, so I actually consider my workout class a "re-fueling" zone, too. Know your limitations...and what recharges you...and then establish rest and refuel zones into your schedule. You'll be amazed at what a little pick-me-up can do for you.
3. Know the People You Can't Disappoint: This is a hard one, but you really can't please all the people all the time. That means somebody is going to be disappointed in you. And you really don't want the ones you love the most to always be the ones who are disappointed. Because I live with my daughter, it's often easier to put her on hold for something more "urgent" and think I'll get back to her later. But my almost 16-year-old won't be living in my house with me forever (let's hope!) and therefore I do need to cherish the times she is home and needs me. So she's on the list of priority people in my life that I don't want to disappoint. Yes, my husband is a grown man and can take care of himself, but do I want him to get the idea that he's not as important as certain obligations in my life? Further, do I want him to run into someone else who is more anxious to take care of his needs than I am? No. So, I'll put him on the priority list, too. Then there's that new believer who still needs some encouragement and spiritual direction in her life. Do I want to leave her to the next cult member who knocks on her door wtih "answers" to her questions? Definitely not. So for the time being, she, too, needs to be a priority in my life. Are you getting the picture? Write down the 4 or 5 people (this list must be small for it to be doable) who need to be your top priorities during this season of your life...or maybe from week to week ...so you know who to say "yes" to and the others who will have to hear "no" from you a little more often.
4. Commit to the Things that Only You Can Do: It isn't a cop-out to say "someone else can do that job just as easily as I can." In fact, it's sometimes a lifesaver. When you find yourself overcommitted, drop the things that can be done just as easily by someone else. For some of us, that means giving up control. For others, it means giving up our pride. But honestly, if we're doing too many things, we can't possibly be doing them all well.
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| Is your schedule putting God on hold? |
| It happens to every one of us at one time or another. Life gets busy. The family has demands. Work is calling. Your aging parents are calling. Everyone needs something...and most of the time God is the One who has to wait for your time. I must admit there are times when He waits far too long to get some of mine!
Why on earth would I want to keep the God of the Universe waiting? Yet I do, out of the tyranny of the urgent. But just how urgent is something other than time with the Ruler of the Universe, the Savior of my soul and the Shepherd of my heart?
We were created to love God and enjoy Him forever. But when we let other things press in and steal away our time with our Creator, we are missing out on our purpose in life. So, let me share wtih you some ways to put God back on the priority list so that He not only gets the time with you that He deserves, but so that He blesses the rest of your time, too, so that you end up getting even more done than you thought you could.
1. Identify God's Competitor: Who is the person or what is the activity that competes the most with your time with God? If you have young children, teaching them the concept of "Mommy's Quiet Time with Jesus" is a wonderful way to instruct them in how to prioritize God, even at a young age. If it's your morning exercise class, check out other class times so you can give that morning slot to God. If it's a crazy work schedule, give yourself some quiet time in the evening, after the lights in the house are off, so you can reflect on your day and reconnect with your Maker...or give yourself an earlier bedtime so you can rise a little earlier the next morning and give Him the start of your day. When you recognize who or what competes with Him the most, you can go straight to that place to make adjustments in your life.
2. Incorporate Him Into Your Schedule: There's nothing wrong with scheduling God in your daytimer or blackberry so that you keep your appointment with Him, just as you would keep an appointment with a doctor or a friend over lunch. In fact, scheduling Him is one way of showing Him that He's important enough to get on your calendar. A friend of mine has one long "date" with God each week, rather than trying to find a mere 15 minutes a day with Him. Developing and maintaining a relationship with someone often takes blocks of uninterrupted time. So...know what you really need to spend time listening and getting to know this great God of yours and then schedule in that time so you don't miss it.
3. Involve Him in Your Day: The beauty of a relationship with God is that you never have to wait until He is available to be with you. You can talk to Him and worship Him anywhwere and anytime. Sing to Him as you're driving in your car, praise Him through the ABCs, stop and think of 10 things to thank Him for every time you're at a stoplight. Are you starting to get the picture? Spending time with God means remembering Him throughout the day, acknowledging His contant presence, and talking to Him as you would talk to a loved one.
4. Integrate His Word: Keep a Bible in your car, one in your desk drawer at work, a smaller, compact version in your purse. Although we live in a world that is constantly on the go, it is inevitable that we have to wait...for an appointment with someone who is running late, for traffic to clear so you can get moving again, for a stall in the women's restroom! Carry God's Word with you and turn to a Psalm (a song of refreshment) the next time you find yourself waiting for something. Turning that wait into time spent with God adds meaning to that time you thought was wasted or lost.
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Where's Cindi speaking next?
Sept. 19: "Girls' Night Off" Valley Bible Church, San Marcos, CA
Sept. 26-28: Women's Retreat, Eagle Crest Resort, Redmond, OR
Sept. 28: "Rediscovering the Woman You Are" Bonanza Community Church, Bonanza, OR
Oct. 4: "Discovering Your Dream" Western Avenue Baptist Church, Statesville, NC
Oct. 10-12: Women's Retreat, Rancho Capistrano Retreat Center, San Juan Capistrano, CA Oct. 24-25: Parkway Baptist Church Women's Retreat, Williamsburg, VA
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