John of Peniel Newsletter #17

I am unsure as to who originally said, "Perception is reality." It is a phrase that says a lot. I recently have been working with a program for kids of all walks of life. Some of these kids come from dangerous inner city neighborhoods, others from far more affluent areas. For six weeks I have been teaching them Stage Combat for Actors. Being who I am, I felt it imperative to have a little more impact on their lives in hopes of empowering them. Over the six weeks we have had our struggles and setbacks but we have had many wonderful breakthroughs as well.

Another aspect of my job was to teach job skills so they could go forward into the working world and succeed. Each day I would teach as if these apprentices were my employees, and they in turn were paid a generous paycheck to learn from master teaching artists, myself being just one. I was the only artist these kids worked with for the six weeks, and daily I would give lessons on life in the work place.

Friday I found myself sitting in a circle discussing resumes. Two of the kids had not brought theirs for the the third day in a row. I decided to dock their pay an hour. I then turned to the group and asked, "Is it fair for me to dock their pay?" It was an overwhelming "yes" that echoed back. Of course the two who didn't bring theirs said, "No." This statement was followed by one apprentice telling another that he has been slacking the whole summer. I decided this was a great time for a life lesson.

I asked the kids one by one to go around the circle of twelve kids and give their perception of each. They were all very straight forward. Several had interesting awakenings. They thought that the perception others would have of them would be far different. Instead they had to look at the true perception of others. I then discussed the fact that they must realize that the perception that was being shown them came from what they were each putting out to the world. In the end I had twelve kids moved by the experience and several of them crying. It was an emotional breakthrough.

Everybody wants to be loved. We each act in a way that is a direct relationship to how our past experience says we get that love. Unfortunately sometimes we get it in the form of attention or respect as opposed to unconditional love. Take a moment and think about how others see you. You have to be totally honest with yourself for this to work. Really look at you from their perspective. Do you like what you see? Would you feel comfortable around someone like you?

Perception is reality. For each person perceiving the assessment of you is reality. Be the love you want not the love of past negative reinforcement.