Stunned survivors last night praised the skill of the pilot who managed to land his snow caked plane in the short-term car park at Wandle Valley International Airport.

 

Former NASA pilot Clancy "Wally" Wallenburger II displayed steel resolve as he fearlessly landed his stricken Waddon Air Avro Piglet without a single injury or loss of life. This was the first recorded air crash where not only were no passengers lost, but where more were added, as one passenger gave birth to twins as the plane landed!

 

According to Denby "Den" Withington, co-pilot, the flight had initially been a routine night run from Brussels: "The passengers were docile, and we (the crew) had finished dinner and downed a couple of crates of beer before settling down to our usual nap on autopilot. When we awoke it was like nothing we'd seen before - in fact we couldn't see anything because  the screen was caked with ice, snow and dead geese! Wally was fantastic. without even spilling his drink he took us into a controlled 10,000 foot spin to the airport. There was a 747 (bus) manoeuvring on the runway so we couldn't land there, but cool as a cucumber Wally got me to check with ATC if there was any space in the car park, and luckily there was. Wally made a perfect landing! He's a real hero!

 

As if that wasn't enough, Wallenburger twice went through the passenger compartment checking for remaining passengers before finally being the last man to leave the plane for the safety of the car park. Carrying only his signature leather holdall in one hand and a beer in the other he was the epitome of cool professionalism.

 

Wallenburger was characteristically reserved and down-played his role in the drama: "it was my training, I only did my job. I was just thankful that it was a drive-in space, because these crates are pigs to reverse"

 

Passengers were full of praise: Londoner Chaz Smith summed up for the rest when he said "we just love that geezer, he's a true diamond! The landing was so smooth we didn't even wake up 'til we 'erd the sound of the dead geese falling on the cars!".

 

The mother of the twins, local girl Tracy Easybike, added: "yea...he's like, like real ok...yea...I'd like to show him my real special thanks..you know, ha....yea. I'd 'ave bin gutted if any 'arm had come to my little uns." Twins Barack and Paris are said to be doing fine.

 

At a hastily arranged press conference, local dignitary, Lord  "Tony" Bungmeone (Lab., Grey Town West), awarded Wallenburger Freedom of Grey Town: "Wally is a true hero, a hero's hero of heroic proportions. He's the Barack Obama of Public Air Transportation. In this time of Economic Crisis and Bad Weather Events we need people like Wally to help us pull through".

The only negative note of the day came to light later when a number of passengers complained of missing personal effects, apparently taken from their hand luggage. Airport police would not be drawn on their possible lines of enquiry.