My son is  five years old and his uniqueness is without question. He asked Santa for a wood chipper for Christmas so he could make things and a generator to run it. Why, you ask? Because he saw one in a parade last year. Controlling his anger and emotions will be the challenge of his youth; he knows "no" but despises everything it stands for. He started a boys club in his Kindergarten class, esteeming to "make things fun." If you don't have an All-American rough and tumble boy in your life, appreciation for one is difficult at best.

He needed to take his bath so I went in and filled the bathtub and called him when it was ready. He climbed in, and 10-minutes into "washing" announced he wanted to take a shower. After a minute of negotiations and reasoning, he said if I let him do his idea, "life will be normal." So I gave in to his well thought out plan because who doesn't want a normal life. I let him be himself in a moment that was important to him where opposing him would have been defeating for the sake of convenience to me.

My son is not sensitive emotional; he's angry emotional. I call him a tornado because he gets to Richter scale anguish quickly. When this happens, his listening locks down, his mind slams shut, and fairness is always one sided. He has a 15-year ambition in a 5-year-old body. He was crawling around the couch growling and clawing Saturday when I asked, "Are you a wolf today?" His reply was simple, "No, I'm angry." He was containing himself in his own way and sending me the red flag that in a minute "I'm going to need to talk." Later that night, I was awarded the "World's Record for Being the Most Comfy Mommy." He doesn't hold a grudge and I don't judge.

His boys club didn't make fruition; it actually got him a lot of negative teacher attention for too much talking. He'll never be the straight-laced student every teacher wants 20 of. He is that boy who needs a classroom job he can't lose and an understanding of how counting paper pennies helps. His self-esteem is not based on coloring the perfect barn or writing the neatest 3. He thrives on knowing pennies go in my blue bank and I can go to the store with them. He's my egg cracker when we're making cakes, he gets to feed the dog, and most of all he gets to pick out the shirt he wears to school.  

My son embodies what every wife, employer, and statesman wants in a man, but he's only five. So my job as his proud mother is to make sure he doesn't lose his uniqueness, control of emotions, or self-esteem. I want him to remember to always be himself.

Fifteen years is a long time to build a dream. Sometimes I wondered why I should continue. Was it really worth it? I put my family and friends (those that stuck with me) through a lot of pain and hard work. Many times we were not "peaceful" with each other. We learned the hard way what peacemaking is all about. Pursuing peace is NOT easy. It's a struggle. Sometimes the children (and adults) have been so negative, we've wondered "why are we even trying"? But then that little five year old boy, whom we thought never paid attention to anything, comes up to me, wraps his little arms around me, gives me a big hug and says "thank you ma'am", then runs off to play. That touched my heart.  

Then there was the ten year old boy that was tearing up the puppets and refused to do most anything. When my mother asked him to "protect" the puppets and help the Kindergartners learn how to use them...his smile lit up the entire room and he was the very best helper that we had the rest of the week. He exemplified the peace lessons beyond our hopes.  

What about the adult lady that couldn't share her feelings and wanted to leave instead of helping the children. After the "Be Me" section, she was able to realize what a special person she is and that showing her feelings was "OK". Then there's the young girl that said she learned "I can have fun and work as a team, even if I don't like the people I'm working with." What a beautiful lesson for all of us. So many children, so many lessons.  

Should we continue? Our "dream" was building a permanent children's peace museum and resource center. That may not happen, but we will continue with our traveling programs to spread the message of peace wherever we go and help others as we can. When we look into the faces of those we teach and wonder: Is it worth it? You bet it is!