Waking up at 5:30am (with only 3 hours of sleep), running up mountains and walking through a river to locate breakfast with GPS coordinates is how the first day began.  After breakfast each team (8-10 men) used timber, four barrels and rope to build a raft that transported all team members, packs, and their food and water five miles down the river.  Four barrels turned out to be inadequate as most of the teams sunk in the river or crashed into rocks.  Entire packs were lost, clothes and sleeping bags soaking wet, only to find out that each team now had to carry all of their soaked belongings in the pouring rain and hike 25 miles through the wilderness to their next base camp.  The next day included more hiking, a challenging ropes course and various competitive events that were designed to bring each man to the end of himself physically and mentally.  Finally, teams made it back to our original base camp and now faced our greatest challenge.  The Jacob walk.
     


    
    










Over this past year I have wrestled with the Lord about what He has for my future.  Actually, part of my life reflects the story in Gen. 32 where Jacob actually has an encounter with an Angel and wrestles with God.    
     It is because of this struggle that I was excited when my good friend Henk Stoorvogel, founder of Athletes in Action in the Netherlands and now a pastor in the Netherlands, invited me to join the leadership team that brought 84 Dutch men together for a "man versus wild" type of four day adventure in southern Belgium.  More specifically, it was the part where Henk shared the vision of the 4th Musketeer...helping men to live completely and passionately for the King.  Creating challenges that each man would face physically, mentally, and spiritually we wanted to bring each man to the end of himself and then leave him at the cross.  With limited supplies and only a tarp for a tent, teams were dropped in the middle of the hilly, wooded region of southern Belgium where it rained day and night and the temperatures reached the low 40's during the day and dropped to 30 degrees at night. 
   On the third day, every man gathered at the river for his final challenge, the Jacob walk.  A journey that would change our lives forever.  After the men listened to the reading of Gen. 32 and the story of Jacob, we were challenged to consider our heart and the struggles in our life.  We prayed.  Then, one by one each man entered the freezing water, Bibles in hand, determined to meet God.  Rescue crews with emergency blankets lined the river due to the freezing temperature and rapid current.  This is the moment I had waited for and I was one of the last men to enter the river as we pushed upstream.  One by one men walked along the bank in the shallow water.  The currents were strong and even in knee and thigh deep waters most men stumbled into the water at various points along the way.  After 20 minutes of walking in the swallow water with the other men I could go no further.  I had to face God in this moment and moved alone, completely to the middle of the river.  As I struggled through the current waist and chest deep I was determined that I would battle to my last bit of strength.  With fire in my eyes I was determined to win this battle of wills. So, with my Bible held high I pushed forward reciting the 4th Musketeer pledge:
"This is my Bible, it is the Word of God.  It is living, powerful sharper than any two edged sword.  Good for me are the words of your mouth, better than any treasure of gold or silver.  Your Word is my eternal passion it is the joy of my heart.  My heart and soul are prepared to do your will.  Forever and ever your Word oh God I love."
     Forty-five minutes in the freezing water I began to loose strength, especially in my right knee.  Yet I wouldn't give in.  But in my heart I wanted to loose.  I wanted God to break me and my body to collapse, sweeping me down the river.  But He would have to do it. 
     I began to fall badly, overcome by the current I could not stay up.  Under and under the current took me sweeping me off my feet and pushing me backwards.  I ignored the pleas of other men and the rescue crew to move closer to the bank. 
I wanted God to break the pride and self-determination that has characterized my life struggle.  So down and down I went, fighting to just get my feet on the ground and stand firm.  But I could not.  I could no longer move my right leg through the water and the harder I fought the weaker I became.  Finally after battling in this place for about 30 minutes I made it through the most difficult part of our trek.
     After being in the water for two hours and no time to rest I made it to the next challenge; hanging upside down using hands and feet to slide on rope that stretched across the river.  After finishing the rope challenge I had to be wrapped in an emergency blanket for 30 minutes as my body shook uncontrollably.  Finally, each man crossed the river once again to accept their cross for the final challenge of the day.  Each man was given a heavy wood post eight feet tall and instructed to carry his cross back through the river, along steep edges overlooking the river, up and down the mountain slopes and eventually back across the river into our base camp.  During the hour long cross walk men were stationed along the path reading scripture about the cross, the sacrifice that was made for our lives, the life that we now have in Christ and the life the He has called us to live. 
     Upon our return to base camp we worshiped, prayed, shared communion together, kneeled before a large cross, repented for the sin in our lives, and committed to the service of the King.
     Each man became the 4th Musketeer.  Our sole duty is to live for the pleasure of the King, to serve Him all the days of our lives and to live passionately for Him!  Every day I look at my ruined, wet Bible as a reminder to this moment in my life that God gave me.

            
"Do not pray for easy lives, but pray to be stronger men and women.  Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers, but pray for power equal to your tasks. Then the accomplishing of your work shall be no miracle, but you shall be a miracle.  Every day you shall wonder at yourself and the richness of life which has come to you by the grace of God."

Bishop Phillips Brooks - (around 1870)

God's grace is an amazing thing and it is only by His grace that we have been set apart for His purposes.  May we never forget that the only thing in which we can glory or boast is in the cross.  For it is only through the cross that we know this grace.