Shredding Fears of Selfishness
Bring the Best Mom, Sister, Grandma, Friend to the Table
What do you think about an American soldier that serves thier country by going to Iraq? Whether you believe in the war in Iraq or not, most of us are grateful for the sacrifices they make. Sacrifice is described as a selfless good deed for others or a short term loss in return for a greater gain. Many mothers who pursue their dreams can confuse measured sacrifice with selfishness. Pursuing your own needs does not mean you have to deprive your loved ones. It is not an either or choice. Healthy nurturing of yourself and your aspirations to express yourself, provides the ultimate model for your children, family and friends. You become a better person with more positive energy.
This past spring my oldest son graduated from high school. I am so proud of him, as most mothers would contest, but I found myself asking myself how did I contribute to developing this mature, caring young man. Is it good genes, environment, luck, discipline or a little bit of all of these? You see, I left my son's father when he was 3. My son has primarily lived with his father since then and since the age of 9 I have lived 5 hours away from him. So again I ask myself how did I contribute. This need to know is about my own self indulgence and guilt, feelings which are not very useful.
Leaving my son to move to Minnesota 9 years ago was one of the most difficult decisions I have ever made. I had remarried and having had one failed marriage, I woke up each morning knowing that loving and supporting your husband was a decision you had to make each day. So, with this attitude we were in a situation where my husband had grown weary of the long commutes for his work and months of searching for other opportunities were fruitless in our area's job market. I had an opportunity with my company for a position 5 hours away. I knew in my heart, my family and marriage needed this move to help us grow. It was a huge sacrifice to leave my son, only to see him once a month.
I could hear the outsiders judging my decision to move as being selfish. It was sure to come from the same people who cast judgement on me when I left my first husband. Actually their past judgements is what ultimately taught me to trust my heart.
When we moved all we had was each other, leaving our families behind in Iowa. We worked hard, struggled and we have accomplished so much together. I know in my heart and through my son's words and actions, that I have taught my son the lesson of sacrifice and hard work. He has been blessed with a caring loving father, mother, step father and step mother. I do have regrets, like missing most of his sporting events, but I can not dwell on this. I made some mistakes (don't we all). I have become a better mother through it all and it serves my family and oldest son very well.
With all this said, I encourage you to nurture yourself, your dreams and aspirations. Shred those fears of being selfish, even during those waves of doubt. You know in your heart what fuel you need to bring the best you to other's tables. Through your hard work, making sacrifices along the way and taking care of yourself you are being the best mom, wife, friend, daughter and sister you can be. |
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Spread Joy! Shred Fear! Have More Fun!
Kim Lampe
Modern B.A.G. Ladies
Questions or comments? Don't hesitate to send me an email. |
B*A*G Challenge!
Forward this message to all deserving ladies, giving them permission to nurture themselves. Remind them that it is not selfish to refuel themselves. It's the power they need so they can share their gifts with the world because the world needs our influence and strength.
B*A*G Ladies Rock!!
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Random Ditty
Who's afraid of global warming, higher taxes, another depression? Who's afraid of war, war, war, dependents on foreign oil, good education no more? Acting from a place of fear really clouds one's judgement and causes one to act prematurely.
Building your brick house to be prepared is all well and good, but don't let it be your brick "hide out". We need to venture out in search of understanding and facts.
Those Big Bad Wolf campaign ads will huff and puff and try and scare you into being afraid to vote for the other guy/gal. IT'S TIME TO GO GET SOME MORE FACTS. LET'S SEE WHERE THEY STAND ON THE IRAQ WAR.
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The mission of Modern B.A.G. Ladies is to provide women with their daily dose of
Believe vitamin and charge women to
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Go to places they thought were only in their dreams
We will spread our new found joy, shred our own and other's fears and just have more fun. We are real! We are not yes ladies! We are OH YES Ladies and it feels pretty dang good!
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