| Greetings!
So often people avoid a visit with a sick friend, don't attend a funeral visitation, or put off getting in touch with a friend after a life-changing event because they don't know what to say. Maybe not knowing what to say is OK. These are the times we need to remember that one of our greatest roles as friends is to listen.
Lending an ear to allow our friend to tell his/her story is a great gift. And stories are one of the greatest gifts to get, too, so listening is receiving a one-of-a-kind gift, as well. You never know what you will hear or learn or what connections you may find, in addition to the pleasure or relief it may give to your friend to be able to do the telling.
Sharing stories can help heal things that even the best medicine can't! Sometimes there is nothing else specific that can be offered, materially, for comfort. But everyone can use a listener. Listening and giving of your undivided attention is one of the kindest and most thoughtful ways to be a friend.
Life Coach (and WhatFriendsDo.com friend) Robin Chaddock says "Being a good listener; it's a wonderful trait. It helps us learn things, make better friends and be the kind of person other people will remember as someone who has made a difference in their lives."
3 suggestions for how to start your phone call:
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I want to hear about the surgery...
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I called to find out how you are doing ...
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Could I take you out for coffee so you can tell me about ...
3 tips for being a good listener:
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Ask questions about what is being said, like: "What did you think about that?" or "How did that go?" or "What did X do then?"
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No matter how tempting or how appropriate you think it may be, don't try to insert your own story; just listen.
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Dedicate your attention to your friend: turn off your cell phone, make eye contact and be fully engaged.
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