WhatFriendsDo Newsletter: At a Loss for Words?

So much attention is focused on how patients felt the day they were diagnosed, about reactions upon getting news that a loved one had just died, or learning that their name was on the layoff list at work.   Sadly, we're all likely to encounter our friends going through any of these situations. Knowing what to say is so difficult. Oftentimes people don't know what to say, so they just don't say anything. Time passes. More time passes. Then guilt plays a role, as still no contact has been made.   It's not an unusual scenario.

Getting Back in Touch

Nobody wants to call a friend and say "Gosh, I heard you have cancer so I want to come visit you."   And nobody going through a hard time wants to hear that the friend wants to come because of the the situation they are going through. Visits are because of the friendship!

Sometimes having an 'opportunity' to make that phone call is a great way to 'open the door.' WhatFriendsDo.com provides ideas for those opportunities each and every day.

Calling a friend to say "Tomorrow is Baked Ziti Day and I remember how you loved ziti when we were in college, so I'd like to bake some and bring it to you" is an easy, comfortable way to initiate a visit. Sure, your friend's cancer, or the loss of his wife, or recent job loss, will likely be part of the conversation when you visit, but it won't be the emphasis.

Staying in Touch

People who are regularly in touch with a friend going through a difficult situation can also use some creative help with maintaining contact. "Checking in" frequently doesn't have to be in the form of asking "how are you doing today?"

Offering practical help with an unpleasant task (cleaning out the refrigerator) is what friends do. Suggesting an at-home movie night with some yummy goodies and a favorite flick allows for time together in a fun way. Surprise notes of encouragement left in strategic places throughout the house will provide cheer when it's least expected.

Do it Now!

Whatever your friend's situation, get in touch. Send a card. Send a joke. Bake a cake. Buy a doggy toy.   Do it your way. It's what friends do.