Where to begin.... My head was swimming when the doctor came in following the gall bladder surgery to tell me Dana had cancer and three to six months to live. There was nothing that could be done. We came in that October day for a routine gall bladder surgery. Dana, with her indomitable will, took the news with a defiant spirit. "I will beat this....this is not for me!." I still remember her words....her calm demeanor. She did all of the right things through life, never smoked, never used drugs, drank very little and was very athletic. She was so athletic in fact that she won nine national championships in roller skating! That was true to her form....when she wanted something, nothing could deter her!
My introduction to
WhatFriendsDo.com was through co-workers. You see, Fran Kandrac and I work at the same company. She volunteered and set me up with the initial team but never pushed me into using it. After all, what did I need with something like that anyway! Well, it soon became apparent. As word spread among friends, colleagues and family the phone calls became more frequent. "How is Dana doing? How are YOU doing? How are the KIDS doing? Is there ANYTHING we can do for you?" It became where I didn't want to answer the phone! It was then that I recalled the website. What a wonderful and unique way to let everyone know what was going on with Dana!
As the weeks and months passed I watched my once beautiful, energetic and vibrant wife slowly degrade. I did all I could to keep her spirits up and to hide my own from her. What I found was that as I wrote in her team blog each and every day I found peace within myself. It was a cathartic experience for me to put into words what I could not say. We utilized the site's "help" feature and found home cooked meals provided for our family. During April and May my life was essentially "on hold." I would go to work, visit Dana at the hospital and eventually the hospice and then go home to write about the day and then off to bed. What a blessing it was for me to write about Dana's day. The inner peace it brought me was indeed profound.
Dana died May 29th, 2008 with myself, our two children and a few other family and close friends around her at the hospice. I stroked her hair and whispered my love and re-assurance to her. She passed from this life as we gazed into one another's eyes. When I got home that evening the first thing I HAD to do was to write in my blog here on
WhatFriendsDo.com. It was for ME this time...it was my final tribute to my loving wife.
