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Family Solutions Today is a free electronic newsletter providing advice, strategies, tips, resources, and news about current parenting issues you may be facing. It is free because thankfully we have sponsors who want to bring this information to you and support us in being able to do so. Sponsors are always appreciated and welcomed.
Topics in the newsletters range from the practical to the peculiar; the lighthearted to the sublime, and everything in between. Articles include advice for parenting tweens, teens and young adults.
Resources include information about ADHD (do we all have it, or does it just seem like it?), managing anxiety, exploring the strengths of seeking help (why therapy?), addiction and relapse, loss and healing, tips on moving through depression, what does it mean to be vulnerable, and much more.
· Commitment · Community · Compassion ·
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The Rewards of Really Listening
Brianna and Dee are sitting in the student coffee shop. Brianna has just had a break up with her boyfriend of 2 years and she is telling her friend Dee about it. To a casual observer, it looks as if Dee is listening.
However, take a look at the thoughts running through Dee's head:
"Really, people break up all the time; it's time to move on. It would help her if she got a job after school and lost some weight; that's what I'd do. I hope this never happens to me."
Dee thinks she's a good listener.
After all, she's not interrupting or fidgeting, is she? What Dee is actually doing is hearing her friend. Like so many of us, she's just not listening. As toddlers, we learn to speak and to hear what others are saying. As we grow up, we learn to read and write, along with other useful skills. Few of us ever learn one of the most vital skills of all - how to really listen. To really listen takes our whole attention and focus.
The rewards are huge though: happier relationships and families, better communication at school and work, fewer misunderstandings between friends and others, calmer and less stressful lives. And another bonus: when you listen well, you become someone other people want to listen to. Real listening can be learned.
Real listening can be learned.
Research and books such as: , by Michael Nichols, and Mortimer Adler's
How to Speak How to Listen
by Mortimer J. Adler by Touchstone
Paperback
List Price:
$14.00
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agree on these key points about listening:
Any parent can learn to be a good listener. While some might be better at this skill than others, listening isn't about being educated, rich or popular.
Listening is active. Many of us think of listening as a passive act, just showing up.
Listening means no defenses. Often, when our kids tell us something we don't want to hear, we shut down.
Listening means turning off the noise inside ourselves. To listen we have to ignore all those voices inside, those judgments and criticisms...Oh, I would never have done that or She just doesn't see how she's making a big mistake.
Listening is unselfish. Listening takes time - and it's worth finding the time for the kids and everyone in your family.
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Dore E. Frances, M.A.
Horizon Family Solutions, LLC
541-312-4422
Dore@dorefrances.com
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Articles Currently Being Researched and In Process for Future Newsletters- 10 Ways to handle difficult conversations
- 10 Ways to raise your self-esteem
- Do you have the people-pleasing syndrome?
- Healing with poetry - it is effective
- How defensive are you?
- How well do you handle being overwhelmed?
- How well do you handle failure?
- How well do you practice empathy?
- Learning to pay attention to "Red Flags"
- Making sleep a priority - are you getting enough sleep for your mental health?
- One-Liners to avoid in an argument
- The power of intention
- What is the difference between being a victim - being a survivor - being a thriver?
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We serve up a variety of weekly guests that will make you laugh and may even make you cry - and definitely will make you think
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From the daily, regular stress that comes from living in our highly active culture to specific life events that knock us for a loop, the impact of stress accumulates.
Recognizing our stress "hot spots" is a critical first step to reducing stress. The following are daily ways to help you maintain balance or get back to well-being following a particularly stressful period.- Breathe. Deeply. Especially when you find yourself irritable or angry.
- Change. Shift locations, activities, jobs, people you're with, beliefs.
- Do something physical.
Exercise, walk, play a game, dance, ride your bike, weed/garden. - Get it out. Talk to trusted friends or a counselor. Write in a journal. Pound a pillow.
- Have fun. Don't forget to take time to play, be creative, do things that nourish your soul.
- Relax. Take a nap, bath, or shower. Sit in the sun/shade. Get a massage. Do nothing.
- Retreat. Find a place - your bedroom, a park bench, your car - where you can be quiet and restful. Go there when you need to.
- Say no. Take care of yourself first or you'll have no well to draw from when helping others.
- Smile/laugh. Force it at first, if necessary. It's impossible to stay negative or burdened with a grin on your face.
- Watch what you eat. Don't over/under eat; drink water; eat fruits and veggies. Easy on the sugar, caffeine, fatty foods and alcohol.
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"It is the province of knowledge to speak and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen."
-Oliver Wendell Holmes
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Thanking Our Sponsors
Elan School accepts adolescents with emotional, behavioral or adjustment problems  | |
BestNotes is a HIPAA compliant Customer Relationship Management and Electronic Health Record software system designed specifically for the special needs community  | |
ISER is a directory of professionals, organizations, and schools that serve the learning disabilities and special education communities  | |
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